The revolutions continue

Reports are trickling in suggesting that the Middle East's tide of coups and topplings is spreading to the West. In a move reminiscent of the 1970s, shadowy forces have taken control of the UK in the absence of its leader, David Cameron, who took control following an inconclusive election in 2010. He is currently on an arms sales tour of the Gulf and seemed shocked but determined to hold on to power:

Asked who was running the country, Nick Clegg, believed to be leader of an opportunist clique formerly subservient to the 'Tories' (directly translated as 'Servants of Mammon') known only as the Liberal Democrats, replied:

"Yeah, I suppose I am. I forgot about that. I'm holding the fort but I'm hoping to take the end of the week off with my kids. Someone else will have to do it then. It sounds more haphazard than it probably is."

Taken aback, an embattled and deluded Cameron insisted from a secure location that he could maintain his grip on power:

The prime minister dismissed Clegg's comments as a "throwaway line" as he made clear that he remained in charge, regardless of where he was.

Speaking from Oman on the final leg of his tour, Cameron told Sky News: "I'm not absent, that is the way government works. In the age of the BlackBerry, the telephone, the internet, just because I leave the country doesn't mean I am not in charge." 

 Journalists report that the situation is fluid, and the outcome depends on the loyalty or otherwise of a paramilitary force calling itself The Big Society, about whom little is known.