Thursday, 10 February 2011

A meeting of minds?

We all know that athletes are - to say the least - not very bright. It's the racehorse principle: if you spent all your time, energy and effort on breeding for speed, brains go by the wayside.

However, cricketers are known as the intellectuals of the sporting world: MLR James, Michael Atherton, Alec Stewart… several have actually written the books with their names on the cover.

They're not exempt, however, from the Curse of the Sportsman (and woman). They're all individualist high achievers and can't understand why everyone else is a winner too. They also get used to being deferred to and treated with respect on subjects unrelated to their core skills of running fast/jumping high/pressing the accelerator/hitting stuff.

So I'm not surprised that mediocre cricketer Darren Gough (winner of Strictly Come Dancing 2005) fancied himself as a Tory MP for Barnsley: individualist rich man with time on his hands. What's really disappointing is that the Prime Minister telephoned Gough to suggest the idea. We all know that Cameron possesses even less of the grey matter than Tony Blair - a man for whom the proverbial matchbox would be too draughty for his intellect - but such a naked appropriation of celebrity for what is still an important job is just pathetic. Luckily for us, Gough turned down the offer, preferring to remain a mere Tory Scum supporter.

What I don't quite get is why Gough would want to associate himself with the nastiest party engaged in the deepest cuts - and in a safe Labour seat. Presumably, a place in Parliament is going to be one more Celebrity Journey from now on.


Ewarwoowar said...

Whilst I agree with 99% of this, I can't allow you to call Gough a "mediocre" cricketer.

He couldn't bat, but over 200 wickets for England at an average of 28 is very good, and in my salad days he was our new ball bowler alongside Big Bad Andy Caddick.

The Plashing Vole said...

You're right Ewar: I remembered only the awful batting, not the decent bowling.