Monday, 12 September 2011

Curses! Government defenestrates Uppal before we get a chance

The government's proposed parliamentary constituency boundary changes (right-click to download the documents) have been leaked early. Unless you're me, it's a phenomenally boring read, but the short version is this: Tories shaft Labour and the Lib Dems. Reducing the number of constituencies is fine, but they've done it in such a way that their rolling rural seats are protected while the other parties lose seats all over the place.

However, every cloud has a silver lining: Paul Uppal MP's constituency and the other two in the city are being abolished and replaced with just two, North and South. Paul's constituency gains two poor, Labour-voting wards, which should ensure that he's booted out, should he stand again: he only has a majority of 691 even with the rich Tory wards to the west of the city.

But. I'm quite saddened. I don't want Paul to be quietly edged out of public life by administrative changes. I want him run out of town on a rail, hung from a lamp-post, tarred and feathered for his evasiveness, dishonesty, self-interest and greed. I want him standing on a school's stage at 3 a.m. cowering in front of a jeering mob as he's consigned to political history (or more likely given a place in the House of Lords because the Tory Party desperately needs to make itself look multicultural).

Is that too much to ask? He's getting away far too easily, and that's just not fair.

One final point: the Tories claim democracy will be renewed by removing 50 or so elected MPs down to 600 or even fewer. At the same time, they're increasing the number of unelected Lords to 800. Democracy in action, baby! Or at least Cameron and Osborne's aristocratic blood getting the better of them.

Osborne's constituency too may be going. I doubt he's sitting comfortably… though that's for an entirely different reason. Time for an application of soothing baby oil Gideon?

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