Monday, 20 April 2009

''…incubators of apathy or delirium"

I went down South this weekend, to see my friend Felix, who is exiled in Suburbia. The sun shone, I only bought two books (biographies of Melita Norwood and of Unity Mitford), ate and drank too much, and generally had a good time. I didn't get to the football because the tickets were lost, though I did notice on Sunday that Manchester United supporters were more common at railway stations the closer I got to London. Stoke City beat Blackburn Rovers, so ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha to Laura, in particular.

However. Felix is living temporarily in Chalfont St. Peter, part of the very rich suburban belt around London. I find it hard to express how creepy, how strange it is. The closest I can get is to say that it's exactly as J. G. Ballard feels. I thought this yesterday, and then heard on Radio 4 that he'd died. His work had tailed off in recent years, but if you absolutely must read about the dysfunctional, savage, irrationality lying close to the surface of the most ordinary communities, he's your man.

Chalfont, Gerrard's Cross and all the areas like them are prime Ballard territory. They genuinely are different to our communities. Most striking of all is a mixed register or individualism and conformity which made me assume that they're all terrified - of each other but also of being different. Every single house had electronically-operated cast-iron gates. Virtually every house had a massive SUV - usually BMW, Mercedes, Audi or Range-Rover, despite the absence of anywhere to go off-road. Every house was a 1930s or fake-tudor modern house (with added Palladian pillars of the wrong size). Each house has a name to distinguish it, yet no name does: Hillcrest, Meadow House, Journey's End - nothing related to the specific place on which the settlement is built. The effect is so disconcerting that it would make John Betjeman, poet of the suburbs, itch.

I guess the point of the architecture, the gates and the SUVs is to show off affluence. The vehicles and the gates also announce separation. Your children aren't important - mine are. The air you breathe isn't important, mine is. My effect on you is irrelevant, your impact on my life must be eradicated. What's important is that I sit 2 feet above you, that I am invincible. It's power but it's also fear. Fear of you, fear of mixing with you, but also fear of being left behind. If the neighbours have an X5, you have to have one - or an Audi, a Porsche Cayenne, anything except a small car. There's no collective responsibility, to each other or to the environment. They're driven by the need to be the same as, yet separate from, their neighbours, whom they don't know other than as figures glimpsed through several layers of laminated windscreen or iron bars.

The gates are part of this system. I walked (subversively) past gate after gate after gate, wondering what they're for. Crime is low. Gates won't help much. Do they keep people out or in? Are these things signifiers of a desire to one day move out to a proper country estate, complete with a mile-long drive? Then I realised: they keep ME out and THEM in. The existence of the gates draws a physical line between them and us. Simply by being there, I was cast as the barbarian at the gates, and began to feel like one - excluded, demeaned, reduced and resentful. There are no barbarians until the gates create them.

Yet, the effect on 'them' is equally profound. Erecting gates separates them from an imaginary horde. It makes the inhabitants an embattled redoubt of civilisation, rather than as part of a community or society. However - what is their civilisation? It's little more than a fascism of conformist acquisition, genteel but competitive consumerism lacking values, morals, beliefs other than the vaguest of sentiments. The gates mark their failure to join a society, not their superiority. Consider this: at the height of the Roman Republic, at the Victorian moral high-water mark of the British Empire, the aristocracy built public baths and libraries, founded charitable institutions and schools, donated land for parks and joined Improvement societies. Many of them were tedious meddlers, or arrogant, or frankly scared of 'the mob', but they all realised that with power comes responsibility. In decadent phases - the Roman Empire, pre-revolutionary France, Enclosure Britain, this social compact broke down. Rich men built estates with high walls, swimming pools for themselves, home cinemas for footballers: private luxuries and a life separated from common humanity. This is the stage we're in. These middle-class gates signify insecurity, hatred and fear without responsibility. They don't want to share their country with us. They resent paying taxes, sharing schools, hospitals and open spaces - and our rotten political system has rewarded them. We make it easy for them to withdraw into private estates, expensive holidays, fee-paying schools and hospitals, then wonder why they hate us so much, why the Daily Mail has so many readers. They take the rewards of our society: cheap goods because we (and our foreign comrades) are paid badly and enjoy few employment rights, a well-educated workforce and a stable government while doing their selfish best to undermine the system which provides these pleasures.

Even worse, all the houses with gates are separated from each other. Despite living in identical houses and driving identical cars, they don't have the benefit of being a community of like-minded people because they lock themselves away from each other. Once the button is pressed, the gates swing shut and they're alone, anxiously gazing through the bars like institutionalised chimpanzees, developing paranoid fantasies and planning the next purchase of a shiny Germany SUV like the family across the lane whose names they don't know.

We should pity them. They fear us, though they don't know us. They'll never meet us. They ferry their children from gated houses in SUVs to private schools, never hearing an accent or opinion they don't like or already know. Strange voices, unfamiliar cooking smells, different skin tones, unpleasant sights never greet them because little of the world can be glimpsed through the bars they've erected for themselves. They're lonely, but they don't know it. They're scared, and they do know it - yet there's nothing of which to be scared.

Ironically, however, these gates, those metal behemoths won't keep them safe from what they're really frightened of: poverty. Each gate demarcates a patch of land, a big car, three holidays a year, a plasma screen and a clutch of school fees which now can't be paid - a parcel of debt which is a direct consequence of their fear. All these things are acquired on credit, on the assumption that moderately sized houses near London will always increase in value, because other people have them. Not having them is a source of the deepest kind of shame, driving this odd class to take on larger and larger mortgages, to put it on the credit card, then acquire another mortgage, another credit card ad infinitum. Now the party's stopped. Cars and houses are repossessed, the holidays stop, the school fees go unpaid, they move to unfashionable areas of London, swap Waitrose for Tesco or even Asda, and they get resentful and angry, as though it's not their fault. Perhaps, who knows, they revolt as Ballard detailed in Kingdom Come and Millennium People.

Should we fear these people? Pity them? Hate them? Perhaps all three? They're lost and lonely, the victims of Thatcherism, yet they hate and fear us. They despise our values, whether these are socialism, environmentalism, Old Toryism, class solidarity or a working-class version of their own ideological position. To them, we are simply a horde outside the gates. Yet if they could only overcome their fear, they'd learn that it's the gates which make us enemies, not enemies requiring gates. Only separation makes divisions between us, and only fear makes them separate. Is it their fault? Partly. They're victims of hegemonic forces (capitalism, largely, with a toxic brew of class- and race-related ideologies), yet they're intelligent enough to know that they're wrong. These SUV drivers use hemp bags instead of plastic, perhaps even offset their flights - they know that they're wrong, but they're too scared and selfish to embrace the collective future, to admit their weaknesses, their faults.

Gates and heavy cars and private schools are ways to avoid the difficult realities of life. Underneath the bluster, the snobbishness, lies terror - of us, of a life which requires responsible behaviour, responsible choices. If you know any of these people, help them out. Smash down their gates, torch their cars, burn their mortgage agreements. (Only joking. Invite them to diverse parties in poor areas. Take them to the pub. Plant a tree).
This house is available now, for £1,795,000.

Friday, 17 April 2009

Namecheck songs

A selective list based on a quick trawl through my hard drive: titles only. Think of some more over the weekend while I go south to see Felix and maybe even go to the FA semi-final between Everton and Manchester United, depending on whether the tickets exist.

I didn't start it. The Guardian did. You all know an awful lot of awful music. I can extend it:
Jacob Marley's Chain - Aimee Mann
Glitter Years - The Bangles
Like Dylan in the Movies - Belle and Sebastian
Seymour Stein - Belle and Sebastian
Gene Autry - Beulah
Ingrid Bergman - Billy Bragg
Walt Whitman's Niece - Billy Bragg
Benny Hill's Wardrobe - The Bitter Springs
Mike Coe Reads the Credits - The Bitter Springs
Andrew Ridgley - Black Box Recorder
Josephine Baker - Blaggers ITA
Warhol's Fifteen - The Blue Aeroplanes
Blues for George Michael - Boo Radleys
Arthur Walker - Cable
Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heartbroken - Camera Obscura
Presley on Oldham Street - Clint Boon Experience
Tiger Woods: Astronaut - Clint Boon
Andy Gill: Astronaut - Clint Boon
Eulogy to Lenny Bruce - Damon and Naomi
Elizabeth Duke - Darren Hayman
Geno - Dexy's Midnight Runners
The Beatles - Edwyn Collins
Fitzcarraldo - The Frames
Black Elvis - Gold Blade
Sally Webster - Gorky's Zygotic Mynci
Gubba Lookalikes - Half Man Half Biscuit
Fucking Hell It's Fred Titmuss - Half Man Half Biscuit
David Attenborough - Huon
Annie Oakley - Jad Fair and Kramer
Alice Cooper's Roadie's Love Child - Kim Fowley and BMX Bandits
Sharing a Gibson With Martin Luther King Jr. - Lambchop
Popeye - Lambchop
Howard Hughes Blues - Laura Cantrell
Ballad of Bilbo Baggins - Leonard Nimoy
Bonnie and Clyde - Luna
This Nelson Rockerfeller - McCarthy
I'm Jim Morrison, I'm Dead - Mogwai
Zidane - Mogwai
Kerouac - Morphine
Eulogy to Lenny Bruce - Nico
Elvis the last ten days - The Nightingales
The Ballad of Bjorn Borg - Pernice Brothers
I Know Someone Who Knows Someone Who Knows Alan McGee Quite Well - The Pooh Sticks
What's the Frequency Kenneth? - REM
John Cage Bubblegum - Stereolab
The Very Best of Neil Diamond - Super Furry Animals
I Was a Rolling Stone - Tiger Phil (Ochs) - Tom Paxton
Tribute to Woody Guthrie - Tom Paxton
Tinky Winky - Tom Paxton
There's a Guy Works Down the Chip Shop Swears He's Elvis - Kirsty MacColl
Cassius Clay - The Wave Pictures
Shatner - The Wedding Present
Dan Dare - The Wedding Present
Kevin Ayers - Gorky's Zygotic Mynci
Bukowski - Rheinallt H Rowlands
Paul McCartney - Laugh Mulder and Scully - Catatonia
The Ballad of Tom Jones - Cerys Matthews and Space
Where's Captain Kirk? - Spizzenergi
John Wayne was a Nazi - MDC
Myrna Loy - The Minus 5
Where on Earth is Kevin Shields - PS I Love You
Talulah Gosh - Talulah Gosh
Norman Bates - Landscape
Robinson Crusoe - Tindersticks
Alan Parsons In a Winter Wonderland - Grandaddy

Incompetent ignoramuses

The Guardian's Film and Music section has a weekly feature: Songs about… . This week, it's actors. I didn't contribute because I assumed that good liberal readers of a certain age would definitely pick the right one. But no. The Go-Betweens' 'Lee Remick' isn't there. It's a wonderful, eyes-wide-open ingenue piece of Australian pop-rock, featuring my favourite line of bathos ever:

'She comes from Ireland, she's very beautiful.
I come from Brisbane, and I'm quite plain'.

It just works - the scansion and the meanings work together to encapsulate that feeling of not quite making it. When Robert Forster married a German heiress from a brewing family, he quipped 'I'm living every Australian's dream. I'm marrying into beer'.

Madness also wrote about an actor: 'My Name is Michael Caine'. It's not their best, but I like it.

Facebook? You're having a laugh

I posted a link to some research about Facebook and poor grades correlating. Now I notice from my Academia.edu page that someone googled my name and 'facebook'.

I had a facebook page for about two weeks over a year ago because I teach new media and thought I should know how it worked. I hated it. I would rather chop down trees with my molars like my beaver cousins than engage with such tedious, pointless nonsense again. Where's the creativity? The privacy? I can see the point if you have family and friends on different continents, but even then, you could use e-mail and Flickr for photos. Knowing whether someone is having beans or eggs for breakfast, or receiving animated pints of beer just makes me angry.

Read a book. I don't, frankly, know your motivations for reading this blog, but at least I've written something, pointed you in (hopefully) interesting directions, and am open to commentary and discussion. Facebook seems so much less creative and open: a wave rather than a handshake.

My poor abused corpse

I went swimming this morning, for the first time in over a week, a week in which I've overindulged in chocolate, alcohol and rare breeds. So as you can imagine, the session was purest torture. My stomach appeared to be trailing several yards behind the rest of me. Plus, it was all in vain, as Neal and I had to eat a cake to take away the taste of the atrocious 'vegetable' 'lasagne' served in the canteen today. Quality is hit-and-miss here; some things are delicious, others inedible. Today erred on the side of the lower order of existence.

Still, at least some fun stuff turned up in the post: The Thick of It Specials, the new Super Furry Animals album, and Bill Callahan's Sometimes I Wish We Were An Eagle.

Forget offshore - let's off-planet!

Yes: solar power collected in space then beamed down to earth as radio waves then converted to electricity is GO! The company needs less than $5bn to do it - £3bn or so, which is less than a decent express rail line.

Big in Switzerland: It's The Nightingales

My chums The Nightingales are touring Europe this week (media students may recognise one of them). No reviews posted anywhere yet, but I gather they missed their plane. It's no coincidence that amongst their albums are Pissed and Potless, and Amateur Wankers (under their former monicker of The Prefects, Myspace). They have taken a new musical direction recently: Insult to Injury has tunes (Myspace).

Update: they're rehearsing in Switzerland this week - the tour starts tomorrow.

Julian Cope - we salute you

Julian Cope is a full on rock god, druid and genius. Also he's one of the most entertaining performers around, even for non-hippies. His account of being nicked at the G20 protests while wearing a burka and stab vest with a wig is hilarious and depressing.

Thursday, 16 April 2009

Back in Stumville

I'm now back in Wolverhampton. How the very sentence thrills me. What is good is finding more presents from Santa Amazon in my office. In particular, Vince Cable's The Storm, his centrist analysis of the current financial disaster. (keep paying those fees, kids. Vole needs books). It's too rightwing for me, but then most things are.

I also got Stile Antico's anthology of Middle Ages/Renaissance settings of the Song of Songs (the erotic stuff that somehow got into the Bible - hear some on that link). I know this will bore or befuddle many of you, but I love all sorts of music, and Lassus, Palestrina et al. are up there with the Field Mice and Elastica in terms of genius. (I'm joking: you can't compare them). They're all good, but Stile Antico sing works of genius staggeringly well. Only The Sixteen (what a stunningly arrogant and, dammit, justified name) and the Tallis Scholars compete on that particular and rarefied playing field.

Rosetta Hampshire: now that's quality blogging

Over at Rosetta Hampshire, the lady in question is showing us how to do it in style. By 'it', I mean summarising history and settling personal scores with named colleagues from the 1950s. We younger types could learn much from her, even if she does use the name of a vole's relative in a pejorative sense. A couple of excerpts:

...I'm not dead. Not yet anyway. That is a problem though isn't it? That if I don't write anything for a week or so people will think I have died.
I remember in particular a six month residence in and around Jasper, Alabama resulting from a disagreement about contour lines in residential areas. I think the politest thing I can say about Jasper, Alabama in nineteen fifty-five is that it was undergoing a period of social change.
I never trusted Joseph Angel at all. He was a stoat of a man: active by day and night, characteristic bounding gait, often stands bolt upright, solitary except in breeding season. Petty lies were far from being beneath him
And she eats at Go!Sushi. I'm not cool enough. Nor do I like raw fish. I'm not a water vole.

'Work' - Ford Madox Brown

In response to a question - there's one version of it in Birmingham art gallery, and one in Manchester's. I haven't seen the Brum one, but the Manchester one is at eye-level, so you can spot all the little details.

Log off RIGHT NOW, students

Now, I'm no social scientist so can't speak for the validity or otherwise of this research, and you should probably distrust any newspaper coverage of scientific research, but how's this for a directly relevant headline for my colleagues, students and friends?

STUDY FINDS LINK BETWEEN FACEBOOK USE, LOWER GRADES IN COLLEGE

Unfortunately, it all unravels quite quickly:

“We can’t say that use of Facebook leads to lower grades and less studying – but we did find a relationship there,” said Aryn Karpinski, co-author of the study…
though the students who used Facebook heavily studied less and were getting lower grades than they thought. OK, it's a small and flawed piece of research, and may only suggest that people disinclined to work have a new hobby, but it's interesting anyway. Perhaps I'd be a better lecturer if I didn't blog so much. I wonder what P Z Myers thinks of that idea.

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

The McBride Affair and British Political Blogging

For a concise explanation of British political blogs, have a look at Tim Ireland's explanation. You need sound on, and it probably isn't safe for work unless you work at the university where pretty much anything goes. He provides more coverage of this unsavoury affair here.

Poor Mark Steel

I like him, and his politics. But now he's on Radio 4 mispronouncing Merthyr Tydfil and making his opening monologue one about how funny Welsh words are and anti-Englishness. That'll do a lot for national relations - are the Welsh the last people it's OK to mock for their language and accents?

Ah - his liberal instincts have kicked back and he's reminding people of the radical past of the Welsh language and talking to a Welsh-speaker while gently mocking her.

And after his initial (compulsory for metropolitan types?) mockery - he's produced a funny and informative account of radical Merthyr, site of the first raising of the Red Flag: ending with the credits yn cymraeg.

Mighty meaty

6 massive, blue duck-eggs. 2 pheasants. 1 partridge. Rare breed black pudding. Gloucester Old Spot bacon, 2 ham hocks, 1 formerly wild Barbary duck. All dead. Dead Tasty! Tonight the Atkins diet begins. Luckily swimming starts again on Friday.

Can't we all just get along?

I enjoy a good argument, but when commenters start calling each other 'wanker', I can't help thinking that a little more imagination is required. So henceforth, a new rule:

only made-up nouns and adjectives when insulting people

Do, please, carry on with the spats, because it's fun. I will deleted boring swearing though. So you have to make a bit of effort. I know that many of you will find it fun.

Meanwhile, I am sitting in the sun, on the balcony, marking. It feels slightly less like slavery that way. I will resist the temptation to apply made-up words to various students on this blog. Perhaps I'll use said words on the coversheet. Perhaps some of the little Einsteins will even realise that they're actually not real words…

I'm off to the farm to buy parcels of bloody meat later: trotters, rabbit, pheasant mmmmmmm. And some oatcakes for the unenlightened masses outside Stoke and its environs.

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Sorry students (and my boss)

I should have been marking essays today, and just couldn't face it. So I ran away to Manchester for a day of culture. First up - the Manchester Art Gallery, which has a stunning pre-Raphaelite collection and a lot of other good paintings too. I was particularly pleased to get an eyeball level view of Ford Madox Brown's Work, a multilayered, slightly satirical work which featured in a very good Victorian literature lecture to which I went recently. I nicked the image from the wonderful Victorian Web


Whilst there, I had coffee with my lawyer, which made me feel very sophisticated. Actually, however, Jo is the long-suffering wife of Cynical Ben (yes, readers, he's taken), for whom I was officially Least Worst Best Man - there were three of us. She also returned my Map Twats flask, which I'd left at their abode on a previous walking trip: a joyful reunion. 

After that, skip a couple of blocks and you get to the John Rylands Library, an incredible mock-Gothic reading room stuffed with the finest collection of texts you'll ever see, from Egyptian papyri to early Gospels to Caxton, a Shakespeare First Folio and first Sonnets, a Gutenberg book and a first edition of Joyce's Ulysses, of which I've now seen three of the 1000 copies printed - the one for sale was €40,000. The core of the collection was the Spencer family's library - Diana's family gave up reading in the 19th century and sold the lot. Seriously though, if you like books, or architecture, or mad Victorian schemes for public improvement, the Rylands is amazing. (Both the Art Gallery and the Library are free, by the way).



Lunch in Chinatown, then home having only purchased two books: E. H. Gombrich's A Little History of the World which is utterly charming and you should all buy a copy, and a comparative book on different poetic forms which you may not appreciate so much. 

We should do the world a favour

…by embracing our own extinction for the sake of the planet. Today's Guardian polls climate change scientists. 85% don't believe we can restrict global warming to 2 degrees - though only 39% believe it's scientifically impossible. It's governments, politics and economics which make it impossible. 2 degrees will make things difficult. The expected 4-5 degrees will cause mass extinctions, human misery, economic disasters and huge political instability. As usual, it's the poor, darker, innocent people who'll suffer first. Sadly for me, I probably won't be dead before it starts impacting on us.

Morning Glory

The dawn chorus started at 5.46 this morning. Thousands of avian voices all singing - yes, I'm afraid so - 'are you looking at my bird?'.

Bookings for weddings and children's parties are coming in unexpectedly slowly.

Monday, 13 April 2009

Forward to the Web Revolution

I'm getting hits from Canada and Algeria from people searching for Damian Mcbride. Hopefully they aren't from politicians wanting to hire him. So anyway, some of my readers are clearly interested in politics but are too shy to comment.

In case any of you missed it, my take on McBride is this: the Tories are utter scum, and there's loads of political ammunition available. What socialists shouldn't do is reach for gossip about people's private lives, especially false allegations. Let's just tell people what the Tories are actually like - arrogant, vicious, self-interested individualists who would serve up granny's mechanically-recovered spinal tissue as burgers to their children if it won them a vote. We all know that the Labour government (as opposed to the party members) are collectively addicted to the meanest, most selfish facets of conservatism, but we needn't decline to the state where we take Guido Fawkes and his ilk as a model of progressive campaigning.

A breath of fresh air

(picture from homepages.nildram.co.uk/.../ picsurroundbidd.htm)
So how are you all? I've been away from my Mac for a couple of days, and mighty liberating it is too. Unfortunately, I've been away from the pool and too close to chocolate.

Alongside my good chum Hannah, I visited Mow Cop, a weird, wonderful gritstone peak with views as far as Wales, Jodrell Bank Radio Telescope, Liverpool and, er, Stoke. Not only is it a natural wonder, it's significant in Methodist history as the centre of the Primitive Methodist connexion - Hugh Bourne and somebody else held open-air pray-a-thons by the folly at the top. They were also called Ranters, presumably by those who remembered the Civil War Ranters sect a hundred and fifty years earlier. The village still has a Wicker Man air, perched precariously on the slopes, a different chapel on every street and fewer genes than families.

But before you dismiss the Primitives (and other Methodists) as just another branch of an odd Eastern religion which got taken up by an empire as a method of holding itself together, remember this: these chapels instilled democracy into the working classes. They elected their own leaders, or rejected leaders altogether. Men, and in the case of the Primitives, women, honed their speaking skills in the Big Seat, learned the power of concerted action, and in many cases went on to found trades unions and lead the Chartist movement. Michael Foot claimed that his brand of socialism owed 'more to Methodism than to Marx'. I think that's a shame, but one can't deny the central role of these churches in forming an independent, democratic, working-class.

Gentler pursuits today - Trentham Gardens, a former mansion house abandoned by the Duke of Sutherland in prewar days when Stoke declined as a fashionable resort, and now revived. Saw monkey, but not otters.

Sunday, 12 April 2009

Reading conundrum

I always worry, when going away for a few days, how many books to take. I never get it right. I'm probably here in rural Shropshire for 3-4 days, so I thought 3 biggish books should be enough. Then I went to bed at 12.30 last night thinking I'd read a few pages of Mark Radcliffe's book. 2 hours later I'd finished it. Even though it's randomly unstructured and not particularly profound (Pooterish?), Radcliffe's essential niceness shines through, so it was worth reading. So that leaves two books (Kim Stanley Robinson's The Years of Rice and Salt and J. G. Farrell's Troubles, unless I rush out to the booksellers tomorrow. Perhaps I shall.

Jolly well done chaps


Stoke City 1 - 1 - Newcastle United. And, for Ben, hearty congratulations to Manchester United for their plucky victory over Sunderland. One more victory and we'll be safe. Above, I reproduce a picture of the Stoke City team celebrating in the traditional fashion after another good match.

1. The Hon. Ricardo Fuller.
2. Mr. James 'Beano' Beattie.
3. His Grace the Duke of Hanley, Ryan Shawcross.
4. Sir Wilkinson Wilkinson
5. Glenn Whelan, Bt.
6. Lord Delap, 'Strongarm'.
7. Sir Matthew Etherington.
8. His Majesty Thomas Sorenson I of Denmark.
9, Mr Liam 'Lawro' Lawrence.

2 other gentlemen temporarily detained by constabulary for post-prandial, sherry-fuelled highjinks.

Country Life

Well I'm at home. I've done the mandatory religious observance to keep the Aged Parents happy, and am sitting in the sun. The thing about being out in the countryside is that it's so noisy - more birds than I can identify screaming to be fed by their parents, squirrels, rabbits, the occasional fox - all accentuated by the absence of my usual auditory input: sirens, gunshots, car stereos, bad music played on mobile phones, people hawking up mucus onto the streets, revving engines.

As it's a holiday, I'll offer some free advice to my media students. If you are going to use the web for 'additional resources', avoid sites like 'megaessays.com', 'freeessays.com' and most of all, '8thgradeessays.com'. 8th grade is US high school for 12 year-olds. My superpower is being able to detect plagiarism in seconds so I will catch you, and it's not worth it. You're all intelligent enough and resourceful enough to find your way to the library and read some university level texts. If you get away with using American high school essays, you might get your degree but you won't have become educated. There's a difference between having a certificate and having acquired the literary and critical skills which make you a unique, skilled reader. If you only care about the certificate, of course, then good luck to you, but I think that's rather depressing.

The wages of spin

Damian McBride, Derek Draper and LabourList (a propagandist mirror of the much more independent conservative.home) are so utterly embarrassing for the left. They're symptomatic of a party hierarchy that's totally lost sight of its purpose and of any strategic aims. Rather than communicate the positive benefits of a Labour government, or the genuinely evil aims of the Tories, they've decided, because they all read Guido Fawkes and the other nasty-minded Tory bloggers, that the voters don't care about ideas. Instead, think these toads, gossip and ad hominem attacks are what matters in politics now. They're so tragically old-fashioned it's sad. They read Fukuyama's The End of History in the 90s and believed the argument that socialism was dead and capitalism had won. Once there's no ideological debate, party politics becomes a matter of marketing, of triangulation and of personalities.

But capitalism is utterly wounded now. The Tories have a clear line on this: taxpayers should save capitalism and the rich, and then everything will be alright. Labour are screwed because it took so much psychological effort to become capitalists that they can't get out of their 90s mindset that anyone with a Blackberry and a second home is automatically morally and politically superior to us all. So the party minions like McBride et al. ape their opposition and waste their time with silly stunts, persuading everybody that there isn't a single politician out there who actually cares about the country rather than himself. Actually, there are - people like Paul Flynn, Norman Baker and Dennis Skinner.

Saturday, 11 April 2009

I can quit any time

Got to switch off now - just ordered a biography of Tom Wintringham, a hero of the British left. He's interesting on his own, but I'm really looking for histories of the Common Wealth Party, a 1940s liberal Socialist party which had 5 MPs at one point, including Wintringham. Any know of any?

Shazam! Pow!

I'm not really one for comics. Or even graphic novels, other than Alan Moore and Green Lantern, but I thought Bostin' Heroes deserved maximum respect, simply for being set in the Black Country (not a racist term, foreign readers) and for having a decent sense of humour.

Dammit

Just thinking about buying books makes me buy one. I've just ordered Mudslingers: The Twenty-Five Dirtiest Political Campaigns in History. I'm hoping to learn a lot!

A minor regression

I planned to have a few days off book-purchasing. I almost made it, until I found Cheesman and Williams' Rebels, Pretenders and Impostors in a remainders shop yesterday. I blame the cheese I'd just bought - the author's name subliminally called to me, and I've got a soft spot for the losers, maniacs and delusional characters who set themselves up as monarchs or 'true' heirs to various states. They remind us all that even hereditary monarchies such as Britain are always the product of shenanigans in virtually every generation (abdications, madness, seeking distant palatable heirs, executions etc.).

Perhaps they remind us too that most people aren't democrats: how many of you dreamed as children of being King, Queen or Prince, and how many of you, despite your manifest good qualities, will ever become one? The answer, of course, is to become a republic, in which you or your children can become head of state by persuading your fellow citizens of your merits. Then you'll discover that you have rights as a human being living in a democratic society, not merely gracelessly handed out as a reward for obedience. Off with their heads!

Football - and more important things

Well, it's a big day for football - in serious as well as lighthearted ways. Firstly, Liverpool are playing Blackburn on the nearest day to the anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster: poor stadium design coupled with aggressive, thoughtless policing led to the deaths of 94 people. The BBC broadcast a rightfully passionate, pointed program this morning which moved me to tears. It ended with a radio broadcaster (I didn't catch his name) ending his analysis later on that day with 'The gymnasium is today being used as a mortuary. And the sun shines'. That's top quality broadcasting.

The other wonderful part of the show was the section which reminded us why Rupert Murdoch, News International and The Sun are so utterly evil. While others mourned, the paper's front-page stories accused Liverpool fans of urinating on the police and robbing the bodies of the fans - complete lies from start to finish, but great for newspaper sales. It took 20 years to admit that the stories were untrue, and to this day Liverpudlians who support any of the local teams won't buy The Sun. I urge you to join in. It's too late for some of those fans, but the business model continues. Lies, slander and poison are the meat and drink of tabloid journalism, and none are quite so greedy as The Sun and its Sunday version, The News of the World. Liverpudlians are accused of being over-sentimental (they are a mix of Welsh and Irish), but in this case, staying bitter is absolutely the right thing to do. A proper inquiry was never held into Hillsborough and The Sun remains evil.

It reminded me of a period in which football was a matter of huge, mass emotion - sometimes violent, sometimes sentimental. Footage of the Liverpool team of the time reminded me of how much we've missed - so many Liverpool players spoke with Liverpool accents, shared surnames with the victims and some lost neighbours and friends - how many of the current Premiership players live anywhere near the average fan (who is more likely to be a middle-class high-earner anyway)? Hearing John Aldridge describe attending the funerals of fathers and their sons, of two sisters, was heartbreaking. On another level, these men remind me of a vanished (and probably quite unpleasant) time in other ways. Many of them speak the language of the fans, they don't have advisers, agents, lawyers and PR employees polishing every word, weighing every statement, looking out for themselves, or beating people up in nightclubs. These men were fans and from the people. On the other hand, safe stadia require massive amounts of money, and ticket prices are going to do it, so perhaps hugely expensive days out are the price we have to pay for safety.

On a lighter note, Stoke has the chance to strike a blow for honest football and the past today, by beating the arrogant, pseudo-galactico chancers of Newcastle United. If only it were MUFC we were sending down (as we did once in the 1970s), but anyone will do. One more win - or even a couple of draws - will do nicely.

Friday, 10 April 2009

Vaccines = good. Celebrities = gaping cultural void

Mindless celebs who think that being able to wave at photographers qualifies them as doctors, scientists and theologians actually kill people because morons (or ordinary people lost in the echo chamber of postmodern existence) listen to them. Marina Hyde, of whom I'm no fan, makes this point wittily in the Guardian.

Meanwhile, a somewhat angrier American has founded the Jenny McCarthy Bodycount, which logs the number of vaccine-preventable deaths for whom he blames this woman, who went from stripping for Playboy and dating film stars to 'writing' anti-vaccine books seemingly unhindered by shame, self-consciousness, scientific training or any of the other qualities we should admire in human beings.

Turkish delight

This is a video made by Ceylan, who directed the film I saw yesterday. It captures his slow, Proustian way…

The Kilpeck Sheela

I couldn't get a decent photo, so here's somebody else's, from their very good site on Sheelas:


And finally






Wolverhampton Station, Neal up the Lickey Hills, Danish for 'sale', Biblical fresco at Lydbury North.

While I'm in a visual mood






… I'll tease my friends. Hilary is the Liberty statue from a 4th July celebration, the toad appeared in my parents' garden, and the posh blokes include David Cameron (2), Boris Johnson (6) and George Osborne (8) - they've suppressed the picture but I grabbed it before they traced every copy. Neal is straining at the Black Country Living Museum.

A few more pictures of today's Old Devils trip






(That's a Kingsley Amis reference, by the way - a step up from Last of the Summer Wine).

Bits out for the lads






Neal, Gerry, Mark and I went to sunny Herefordshire today to see the Sheela-na-gig at Kilpeck, a 12th-century church with a bit of castle left. The carvings were stunning the scenery was beautiful, lambs were gambolling and trees were blossoming. We arsed around a bit, then went on to Hereford, Ludlow and Bridgnorth via all the back roads through Richard's Castle and the Clees, taking in fine beer and food in the 14th-century wattle-and-daub Black Swan in at Much Dewchurch. Lots of photos here.

Easter bunny

My friend Gerry asks me to post something cheery and seasonal, and has supplied an image. If you are of a sensitive disposition, it's probably too late.


La Police Vous Parle


The rozzers have been extremely active on the PR front recently, so I thought I'd show an earlier reaction to authoritarian propaganda, from the 1968 student insurrection.


HW Monkey


HW Monkey
Originally uploaded by Foreign Correspondences

FW Monkey

BC Monkey


BC Monkey
Originally uploaded by Foreign Correspondences

Monkey!

In my haste to depart the office, I forgot to wish you all a good holiday. I'm having a day off tomorrow, going to see a Sheela-na-gig on a Herefordshire church with some pals. Then on Saturday it's back to the bosom of my family to restart some old arguments and eat too much while I mark. I won't abandon Plashing Vole completely but may actually get some fresh air.

Tonight, I saw my colleagues and friends Ben and Frank, and with Hilary - an escaped colleague and friend - we got ourselves a little culture by seeing 3 Monkeys, a beautiful, sombre, Turkish film, at The Lighthouse, Wolverhampton's best arthouse cinema (only arthouse cinema). It's a mix of Eugene O'Neill, Strindberg, Ibsen and Pinter - with perhaps a bit of Huis Clos thrown in for good measure. The photography and pacing are stunning - and for the rest of you, there's a gangster, a murder and some trains.

Thursday, 9 April 2009

Fame at last

One of my rants (not a very focussed one) about mobile tracking, is excerpted in the Guardian! I don't live in a Faraday cage with a foil hat on really.

Yet more utter nonsense.

My institution is facing rationalisation, redundancies, module restrictions and cutbacks to 'aid' 'retention'.

In France, students and lecturers faced with the same kind of managerial 'activity' are holding 24-hour lectures, readings and walks. Here, we're paying expensive external consultants large amounts of money to run focus groups about 'brand identity'. Brilliant. Let's call it, er, let's think, how about 'Wolverhampton University'? That'll be £30,000 (at a conservative guess).

Suicidally, I've just sent another angry e-mail to the 'Director of Marketing and Communications'.

Garlic cures AIDS - yeah, right.

I've banged on about Ben Goldacre and Badscience.net relentlessly. Fearless exposing the small dishonesties and major frauds of pharmaceutical companies, media outlets, universities for hire, 'alternative therapists' and 'Dr' Gillian McKeith alike, he performs a public service.

Ben's book, Bad Science is a must-read because it gives all the tools required to challenge any of the 'wonder-drug' / X causes or cures cancer / scientific shampoo bollocks shovelled at us.

Now, he's making available the chapter on Mathias Rath which was dropped from the book because the dangerous charlatan was suing Ben and The Guardian. Now the case is over (Rath lost), you can read how a man claimed that cancer sufferers should drop their medication in favour of vitamin pills, because the pharmaceutical companies were deliberately poisoning them for profit.

However, this was just the start. South Africa has 6.3 million AIDS sufferers, and 25% of the population has HIV. Along comes Rath, with adverts reading 'Multivitamin treatment is more effective than any toxic AIDS drug' and 'Multivitamins cut the risk of developing AIDS', with clinics dispensing these 'vitamins'.

Needless to say, these are lies from start to finish. Yes, major pharmaceutical companies are capitalist whores, but there is a serious legal framework which demands drug testing before a product is licensed. Rath's rubbish isn't licensed or tested, and he lied and lied and lied about his 'research'. In tandem with Thabo Mbeki's conspiracy-theorist approach to AIDS, the death toll in South Africa rose by 330,000. Millions of South Africans believed Rath and his denialist friends, leading to mass deaths.

So when you whinge on about not trusting doctors or pharmaceutical companies, remember this: that your sophisticated scepticism round dinner tables might sound terribly clever, but it's killing people on a huge scale. Pharmaceutical companies are deceitful, capitalist liars, but they have to operate within a strong regulatory and legal system which makes them behave… in the West, at least. Your doctor IS on your side. S/he's trained and the drugs are the end-product of years of experimentation. Kneejerk rejection of rationalist science kills people - kooks here and poor, uneducated, oppressed people 'there'. Read the chapter: the extent of the lies, shenanigans and plain stupidity will horrify you.


I'm not weird after all


Sales of Pride and Prejudice with Zombies have hit 4000 on pre-orders alone - clearly a lot of horror fans have been hankering for some Regency manners, and a lot of Austen fans are thirsting for blood.

All must have mottos

My housemate had a package of parking instructions in the post. It was published by Wolverhampton Council and APCOA, a purveyor of parking spaces whose motto is: The World of Parking.

Is this the least attractive world ever? I've heard of worlds of adventure, hurt, sleaze and many others. I've never dreamed of a world of parking. It sounds very boring indeed. Why should every company try to make itself sound profound or caring by having a stupid motto? Any further contenders?

Ploughing my lonely furrow

Today is very student-centred. I've reluctantly put aside my PGCE essay (it's 1000 words too long anyway) to read some project drafts and do some marking, seeing as I'm on holiday (ahem - still in the office). Bear this in mind when you students leave posts today - I may be marking your essay!

Cynical Ben presumably has the day off, seeing as he's approaching 20 posts today. He too is motivated by football, books and teasing me, so I'm sure you'll all get on together beautifully. As to the soundtrack for my day, I'm listening to a compilation of weird covers Mark did for me. Ozzy and Frank Zappa doing 'Stayin' Alive' is quite odd, whereas Altered Images' version of 'Jeepster' is lovely.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.


You may have seen some rather Orwellian police adverts around recently. This site has collected some subvertised versions you may enjoy. The one I've chosen was funny before. Now Ian Tomlinson's dead, it's rather more sombre.


Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Wig out

I don't sing the praises of non-Britpop indie bands nearly enough - I love Field Mice, Galaxie 500, Low, Ride, Stereolab, Velocette, The Go-Betweens and loads of others and have well over 20,000 records in my room to prove it (and no money). Turn up your speakers and rock (metronomically and exponentially) to Super-Electric by Stereolab.

A softer note on which to end the day

I mentioned Joan Baez's 'Diamonds and Rust' earlier, and thought you might like to hear it, sung by her in her prime. I saw her a couple of years ago, and her voice is possible even richer. If you don't know her story: she was a folk star in the 60s revival, socially progressive and serious, then she gave Bob Dylan his big break. They had a relationship and he dumped her (and can be seen being cruel to her on Pennebaker's film), moving on to become a megastar, though I believe they made friends again. I love this song because it merges tenderness and hurt, along with a grown-up ruefulness about the naivety of love ('Speaking strictly for me, we both could have died then and there'). If your tastes are more rock, listen to the Judas Priest version here (it starts to RAWK about 3.22).

New book… world saved

A massive tome, Mackenzie's The Victorian Vision lands with a crash on my doormat. Everything you might ever need to know about Victorian art, politics, culture, gender relations, racial concepts etc. etc.

May is shaping up

… to be a great month for culture. ATP, the Star Trek movie, and Pride and Prejudice With Zombies, about which I blogged a couple of months ago, and which is now available from some behemoth online corporations. I also got Hunger and the new Doves album, Kingdom of Rust in the post today. I've always had a soft spot for them. They're like a happier version of Tindersticks (and the title reminds me of Joan Baez's heartbreaking 'Diamonds and Rust', about her split with Bob Dylan). The video is a live performance from 1975.

Feels like I've lost a limb

IT services have managed to fiddle with the servers so that Mac users can't send mail out - so don't feel snubbed if I don't reply to you today. The utter gits.

You can still send me mail, or post to my blog.

Back now - all the mockery from IT services about Macs was worth it because it was their fault!

Ian Tomlinson RIP


I said a few days ago that the G20 riots had descended into the traditional police riot, and the footage of Ian Tomlinson (a man trying to get home from work) being bludgeoned by the police despite the fact that he was walking away with his hands in his pockets vindicates this. Is he our Blair Peach?

There is a cultural problem with the police at the moment, one which reminds me of the 1980s. They're spending an awful lot of time quietly briefing politicians and newspapers that mass violence is coming, and that they'll be going in hard: the very antithesis of their legal duty to FACILITATE protest. The police in this country have always been a reactionary and politicised force - witness the industrial disputes and the weirdo religious pronouncements of the 1980s, and the backlash which greeted Ian Blair's attempts to humanise the Met.

After the facts, their PR people are concentrating on selling a rosy version of events, as though they're working for a washing-powder company rather than a service supposedly existing to serve the public. Public bodies must be held to account, but they also have a duty to take far more care. Police PR mustn't be a marketing exercise, or be seen as an offence-defence role. One appalling example was the police injury list from Kingsnorth's environmental protest. The cops told the media and politicians that 70 officers had been injured during the £5m+ operation. However, a Liberal Democrat Freedom of Information request revealed no injuries sustained by attacks or scuffles with protestors. The 'injuries' ranged from toothache to bee stings, taking in 'officer injured sitting in car'.

This isn't just funny: it's a serious attempt to deceive readers of already pro-police newspapers and legislators. There's a sustained attempt to consolidate the extra powers afforded to the police after September 11th and use them against all forms of protest, as Mark Thomas et al. have repeatedly demonstrated. The National Extremism Tactical Unit is undertaking surveillance of peaceful protestors and journalists as though they are terrorists, and other secretive units are prepared to treat us all as threats to state security, rather than as concerned citizens.

Nor should individual policemen be allowed to escape scrutiny by ordinary citizens or by the courts: the ban on filming cops is an attempt to hide misdeeds, and a recent police brutality court case saw officers refusing to give evidence.

We've all been conditioned to see the police as 'on our side', despite their track record: the West Midlands Serious Crime Squad (aptly named: they committed a lot of serious racist crime), the Miners' Strike, and on and on. I've challenged a police officer for completely over-reacting to some loud kids at Wolverhampton station - a minor but scary event - and I'd recommend you do the same. They work for us and need reminding of this sometimes,

Association football

Stoke have suffered badly from referees trapped in the headlights of big teams this year: Manchester United and Chelsea both beat us with goals deep into 'injury time' despite no significant injuries or delays occurring.

So I'm assuming that the Man U - Porto ref was a) incredibly brave; b) foreign and c) heavily guarded when he actually blew the whistle for full time after Porto scored a 90th minute equaliser. If he'd been local, a few minutes would have been found. Perhaps Tevez could have been delayed by a difficult shoelace conundrum, Ferguson might have had a headache, ANYTHING.

I get readers: odd ones

I had a visitor from Catonsville, Maryland in the middle of the night. To this blog, you understand. I'm not sure I'd have wanted him or her visiting my house because they'd Googled 'computational linguistics porn'.

I'm stunned. I know a lot of computational linguistics practitioners, and they've never mentioned the field. Is it an underground thing? Or is this person ahead of the curve? There may be a gap in the market?

'Hi there. I'm here to, uh, resolve your anaphora'.
'Oh, thank God you're here. I've also been struggling with automatic abstracting'.
'Yes, I can see that by the rips in your lingerie. Want some Natural Language Processing advice?
'Why, you're one cunning linguist!'

I thankyewverymuch, I'm available for weddings and children's parties.

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Blogging - an odd medium

I've mentioned this before, but it's strange what people respond to. Quite a few posts on favourite books - but no response to my suggestion that polluters be summarily executed. I assume that silence = consent.

Read Swift's A Modest Proposal?

Abandon hope

Hopefully you all know that ours is the last generation to live a 'first-world' lifestyle, thanks to the destructive effects of… er … our first-world lifestyle (meanwhile everybody else is suffering now). Neal's sent me a link to this video, which graphically demonstrates the real, physical impact of our selfishness on the world. It details the ever-decreasing Arctic ice coverage - without it, we're entering a period of accelerating temperature rises with associated feedback. Soon it will be too late - feedback means that there's no going back and we'll end up like Venus.

Licence fee - whinge, whinge, whinge.

People sometimes whinge to me about the licence fee being a rip-off, or an unfair, compulsory tax. Never mind that it pays for 100+ radio stations, several TV channels - at least one of which will appeal to you - the World Service and the whole transmission system AND doesn't carry adverts.

Last night's BBC2 vindicated the licence fee for me (despite the Orwellian ads about paying up or being hunted down). Heroes, followed by some variable quality Mitchell and Webb, then Stuart Lee (he won't be appearing on commercial TV anytime soon), then a stunning Cancer Special Newsnight which didn't mention God or 'alternative' (i.e. evil, made-up preying on the vulnerable) medicine, followed by The Wire. Two of these are American shows - fine. They're good quality and cost millions of pounds per episode, and we get them for £140 per year.

Thanks, readers

Interesting suggestions (keep them coming). I'd forgotten about The Master and the Margarita but agree - it's stunning. I'd also forgotten to list Jane Austen, whose works I go back to several times a year. I'm not so keen on On The Road, though I used to be many years ago. There's just something so self-involved about hippies and proto-hippies. The same goes for Coelho and that whole band of self-styled spiritual gits. They're a result of the 1960s radicals failing to get anywhere. Faced with political defeat, they decided to look inside themselves rather than take the serious choices required to save the world. They couldn't accept the external authority of organised religion, so they made up a load of old cobblers - from Scientology to self-help - and made pots of dosh on the way. I hate it. The only books I'd happily burn are those under 'Mind, Body, Spirit'. Savonarola was right.

Let's be clear, the only rules you need for a happier life in the West are:
1. Eat less.
2. Walk more.
3. Try to be more kind to people. Even students. Not Tories - they deserve a spade through the face.
4. Buy fewer things.
5. Read more.

Did anyone watch Stuart Lee's Comedy Vehicle last night? The man is a genius because he's intelligent, has a sense of the absurd, and is right about the gaping cultural void in our lives which we seem only to be able to fill through the purchase of pointless, empty objets. We've exchanged our messy, tasteless, jumbly, interesting lives for houses, clothes and activities designed to make ourselves indistinguishable from the 'lifestyles' of show-homes and the fake nuclear families featured in adverts. Resist! Swap your plasma TV for a ferret, or a book, or a train-set - whatever makes you happy in your own odd way - and stop worrying about what other people think of your lifestyle.

(Easy for me to say, of course - I'm used to the condescension or pity evinced by students, friends, family when my 'career' comes up).

Monday, 6 April 2009

And so to bed

Well, not quite. But I am going home now. I only ordered one book today (Vince Cable's The Storm), received Season one of the original Star Trek (for work, of course) and received the news that I don't have to appear in court tomorrow. This is always good to hear - my reign of terror continues.

Actually, I don't have to give evidence in a case because the defence have accepted my statement without question. It's true: I did fly in from Krypton, land on the hoodlum's head, melt his knife with laser eyes then delivered him to the Chief of Police with a tortured pun (actually, that last bit's quite true to life). I still have to attend the crown court for the more serious charges so I'll still get to shout 'You want the truth? You can't handle the truth', though I've never seen the whole film because the sight of Tom Cruise makes me grind my teeth and be randomly cruel to babies.

A literary question

What book has changed your life? What one book should people read? What one book shouldn't anyone read. I tried these questions on my first-year students and discovered that nobody likes 19th-century novels any more.

My answers:
Changed my life: Walden by Henry David Thoreau.
Book everyone should read: more tricky - so many good ones, so many for particular reasons. The Communist Manifesto? The Wind in the Willows? The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?
Don't touch with a bargepole: The Lord of the Rings. Atlas Shrugged. The Book of Mormon. Left Behind. Any of Dickens' 'funny' novels. The Narnia novels. Loads more…

A solution to our excess consumption

In conversation with Neal, I had a brainwave not unconnected to watching Logan's Run recently. Give everyone a carbon ration at birth. When they've used their ration, it's execution time. After all, polluting kills people, at home and abroad. If you shorten somebody else's life, you should have yours shortened. We could all have a little electronic card with a countdown which cuts years off every time you fill up your SUV (I hate that term: what sport is it?) or take a flight. No trading allowed. This scheme will be retrospective, so all the wankers with Audi SUVs driving round Wolverhampton should report to the football stadium for 'processing' tomorrow morning.

The mode of execution (the 'quietus') would be asphyxiation by Range Rover exhaust pipe. It seems just and appropriate.

A lot of poorer countries won't be affected but the West will be depopulated - and therefore cleaner and emptier for occupation by said poorer cousins. Some people might opt to live a short and fun-packed life, and that would be fine. I'm very boring, so I'd be happy with a long, carbon-poor life.

Your comments?

Gooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaal


I should be working but I'm paralysed with joy - Premiership survival assured and by such a sweet method: beating West Brom yet again. 26 games, 1 defeat. Altogether now: 'We always beat West Brom'.

Actually, I'll quite miss West Brazilwich, and having them replaced with Wolverhampton isn't really a fair exchange. If people think Stoke play - ahem - 'direct' or 'physical' football, wait until they see the yam-yams hack their way to 0-0 results.

To my friends: note that SCFC are now above Blackburn Rovers, above all the other promoted teams, and above Newcastle etc. etc. We'll turn Newcastle over on Saturday, beat whoever we have left at home, then end the season by being the first team (I think) to beat Arsenal at Highbury this season. Probably.

Auf Wiedersehn, Pet


My old housemate Felix visited for a day - he's a cool German doing an internship in London and living in Chalfont St Peter, which I always thought was an Agatha Christie setting - or perhaps one of Bertie Wooster's friends.