Damn his eyes…

My pal UnluckyDip has started a photo blog of pun-based shop names. I've been planning that for ages. I'll have to send him my crop: I encourage you to do the same. I particularly love Sherlock Homes in Stoke, and Con Hair in Manchester.

Getting Stoned

Sorry to tease you: I merely visited the pretty town of Stone, Staffordshire yesterday. A wander along the canal, and a decent meal. A few pictures are here.

Stone is a grand town for puns. As well as this hair salon next to the canal (geddit), another barber's was called Set In Stone. Magnificent.

Friday conundrum!

Not so much a conundrum, and perhaps a little morbid: write your own epitaph or obituary! For what would you like to be remembered? Boltzmann's grave features his Constant, which is pretty cool. Shakespeare's warns people not to chuck his bones into the charnel house next door. I saw a Welsh one which read (translated) as 'not to be opened without the permission of the inhabitant'.

Mine?

Plashing Vole - turned his final page.

Too flippant? I'd like to be thought of as quiet, consistent, helpful and kind - not that I am, it's just that's what I'd like people to think. I care about books, people, education, the environment, politics and the public sphere - though I'm ashamed to say that I don't do much about them. I'd like to get my book written, and some papers, but fame doesn't concern me one little bit. Maybe it's a bit negative, but the first line of the Hippocratic Oath commends itself to me: 'First, do no harm'. We can be such destructive creatures, emotionally, physically, intellectually, that a conscious decision to refrain from harm is essential.

I'd also like to be remembered for my agility with a pun. Speaking of which, I'm thinking of opening a strip-joint featuring characters from literature. The star turn will be Jane Eyre in a G-String. Boom-tish.

Thankyewverymuch. Bookings for weddings and barmitzvahs have not been rolling in.

Punt

What do you call an Argentinian narrowboat enthusiast?

Argy-bargee.

Argentinian-Indian fusion cooking?

Argy-bhaji.

Meanwhile, the anagram generator keeps on giving: William Shakespeare comes out most accurately as 'I Am A Weakish Speller' (he spelled his name in several ways), and Margaret Thatcher ironically provides 'That Great Charmer'.

Nerds + politics = possible Twitter justification

But only because a lot of people following the Irish council elections makes up for the national broadcaster's understandable limitations - follow it here as people Twitter the latest gossip/results.

OK, it's important for my new media teaching. It's Saturday night in the Welsh capital, and I'm thinking about work. What the hell has happened to me? (Answer: nothing. This is, unfortunately, the real me).

Porn by Twitter = Titter?

Pancake recipes (or idiots) = Twatter?

Drunks = Totter

Short, disapproving messages: Tutter.

Pork-based recipes: Trotter

Irish twitter - 'Tater

I'll get me coat…

Morning Glory

The dawn chorus started at 5.46 this morning. Thousands of avian voices all singing - yes, I'm afraid so - 'are you looking at my bird?'.

Bookings for weddings and children's parties are coming in unexpectedly slowly.