The BBC is terrified of the incoming Tory government, but I think it's partly responsible for the public's greed and selfishness. Whatever crusty Tory MPs say about liberal bias, daytime BBC TV (and the other channels) consists of property greed, encouraging people to flog their family heirlooms, and talk shows where anything from joblessness to obesity or child abuse are considered to be purely personal failings, with no reference to society at all.
So I was idly daydreaming about a new show…
Opening scene. Man in patched designer suit and designer spectacles held together with sellotape:
"Hello, and welcome to our new show. In the last series, Location Location Location we encouraged smug bourgeois young couples to treat their homes as piggy banks and get into massive debt by speculating on the property market without any regard for fiscal or moral probity. Now, in Repossession Repossession Repossession we're revisiting those couples to see how they've got on in the crash".
Woman in cracked sunglasses trying to yank Primark label off her jacket:
"Yes Jools. We'll be showing them how to hide things from the bailiffs, how to crack the electricity metre, checking out the best homeless shelters in the area, scouting the best restaurant bins, and giving them top tips for building chic, compact homes out of cardboard".
"Thanks Kirsty. And if that's not enough, we'll be inviting our special guests, Tam and Mabel, who've been on the streets since the Tory recession of 1987, to judge our couples on their street skills: bin-picking, skip-diving, shank-making, cider-drinking and self-defence. After all, we don't want them to get a kicking from their former banking colleagues on bonus night, do we?"
"Ha ha, no, we certainly don't Jools. Now, let's meet our teams. In the Salvation Army clothes, it's the Farquhars, who lived in Surrey until yesterday. Team, how are you faring in Peckham?"
And so on. Could be a winner.
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