Tuesday 28 July 2009

The Map Whats?

Lou asked in a comment why we're called the Map Twats and whether the second word has acquired a new meaning.

Er… it has for us, denoting four idiots in the countryside rather than a crude term for pudenda. I wasn't present for the inaugural meeting, but the name springs from a discussion between Neal, Cynical Ben and Dan about an imaginary TV show in which some thirty-something fools get lost in the country but always find a pub. The soundtrack was to be (and this is Neal's fault), Cliff Richard's Way Out In The Country, which apparently features the lines 'You're going to find me/way out in the country'.

My contribution to celebrity culture is a porn mag for monarchists, featuring cadet members of the royal family: Barely Regal.

Still available for weddings, barmitzvahs and children's parties…

6 comments:

Newton Heath 18 said...

oh dear and I thought I was ill.

Dan said...

Quite. The Map Twats was kind of going to be our version of Countryfile, only with even more incompetence and slightly more swearing. The fact that it's now become a collective noun by which we refer to each other probably says something interesting and/or worrying about us. I'm too lazy to think what that might be though.

I believe you were also responsible (or was it Mark) for another 'specialist' porn title - 'Rural Rides'.

The Plashing Vole said...

I can't remember what was me and what was Mark. We're all wallowing around at the bottom of the barrel!

Benjamin Judge said...

I still feel the Map Twats would be TV gold. Particularly when during an argument about, for example, Ted Danson, something unusual would fly past and Dan or I would release our catchphrase "Now that. Was fucking rare."

The Plashing Vole said...

I'd buy that for a dollar.

PS. 'Rural Rides', in case you're wondering, mixes a literary reference (Cobbett's Rural Rides) with Irish slang for sexual activity/attractive person.

Benjamin Judge said...

Oh Vole. Now I really want to watch Robo Cop. So many good lines

I'd buy that for a dollar.
Stay out of trouble.
Can you fly Bobby?

oh look, Robo Haiku. Sweet.