After a full day of girls hitting each other with inflexible weapons, we are sad to report a series of horrific injuries.
2 girls, despite the devoted attention to their welfare of highly trained professionals, have sustained cuts… while shaving. The wailing of the afflicted and their grieving comrades was highly affecting. Or do I mean 'affected'? The identities of the victims will remain confidential - partly because that's right and proper, and partly to maintain various parents in suspense until their daughters return.
Obviously, I shall tender my resignation on my return. Many thanks to the life-saving medical care of Dr. Andrew Goodier. I thought blood might be shed on this trip, but I meant it metaphorically…
If blood and shaving make you faint, do NOT watch this 1967 Martin Scorsese film, The Big Shave, which is an allegory for the Vietnam War.
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