I was confronted by an advert which made me so furious that I hardly slept last night, so beset was I with plans to raze to the ground the headquarters of Skinny Water.
Oh yes. We all know that bottled water is an affront to economics and the environment, but these cynical monsters are peddling their water as 'low calorie' - as opposed to their rivals and tap water. I now realise that I'm a fat git not because of my prodigious intake of pork products and beer. I'm a fat git because I've been drinking highly calorific tap H20, or 'Fatty Water' as they no doubt term it.
They've added a load of crap with pseudo-scientific compound names and dubious claims ('Crave', 'Shape Control', 'Detox') and even claim that different times of day require different waters. Most egregiously of all, they used the term 'bio synergy' in the TV advert, which means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in relation to water, but does sound healthy and energetic.
Do yourself a favour - drink from the tap and don't ever, EVER give houseroom to people who make up this quack, charlatan nonsense. Ooh, I'm so angry.