I'm vindicated by the world view of these people. Own-brand versions of products can't afford to sit round thinking of euphemisms - they need to appeal directly to potential purchasers, and so often cut through the marketing guff to the heart of the product's selling point.
Asda's versions are Monster and Ripper. Are these positive? Do they bring to mind images of students consuming the product while the revise through the night? Or DJs spinning discs for an ecstatic, demanding public? Not to me they don't. They remind me of CIA torturers in Guantanamo Bay taking a break from extreme manicure, Ted Bundy, Jack the Ripper and the Yorkshire Ripper. It's always possible that 'Ripper' signifies a return to Enid Blyton's world of lashings of ginger beer and 'ripping' picnics - but it's rather a stretch.
Energy drinks - unleash your hidden rapist.
8 comments:
The smell of these drinks reminds me of an ex who lived on diet of weed and these drinks. And always smelt of the two. He was even proud of a passing resemblence to Travis Bickle. On these grounds all of these drinks should be banned. They are trying to sell an attitude and lifestyle in a tin can.
They should be renamed to Get A Life and Get a Job.
An excellent point. Are these drinks not just the lucozade version of skunk? Also if you read the labels they usually contain the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee. Why not just have a ristretto?
I work at the Co-op, and we have an offer on these drinks at the moment - £1.29 each or 2 for £2. They fly off the shelves and is probably second best contender to the energy drink Red Bull. I have noticed from my time on the till, most people who buy these drinks are men in their mid twenties or teenagers who hang around Wolves center wanting to look 'cool'. Blaming there hypo/crazy/ bloody annoying behaviour on having drank too much of the stuff.
What scares me though is the amount of bus drivers that come in from the bus station across the road saying,
' Ahh I need this to wake me up im still half asleep'...half asleep, buying two huge energy drinks and operating a bus. It makes me feel rather nervous.
That's quite terrifying. It explains why West Midlands bus drivers are so reckless though.
Please dont tar all who purchase with the same brush. Relentless has chosen a different path;
"For all the drive and passion that man can muster, for all the uncompromising attitude and persistence that defines us, for all the contained energy that boils within, in the absence of flesh, we are only ghosts."
Please have a peruse of the Relentless website and see what all the fuss is about.
Regards
Charles
Yes, Charles, whatever you say. Do you work for whoever makes Relentless? I won't, unfortunately, be visiting the Relentless site.
Could I just point out that 'drive and passion' are emotions, and therefore not consequences of drinking a stew of chemicals? Seriously, it infuriates me when advertisers attempt to appropriate emotion to sell products - love, eroticism, family: you can't buy these things, or consume them. Attempting to use them for commercial ends merely accentuates your emotional death.
Well, well. I think we've upset Relentless (e.g. Coca-Cola) with our critique of this awful muck - as well as Charles, I've had hits from their media slags, Radiator PR. Welcome, coke-fiends! Use your dead, soul-less eyes to read some alternative views. You scum.
Just in case I haven't made myself clear:
Relentless is the epitome of industrial 'food'.
The name makes me think of rapists and serial killers.
You are a waste of perfectly serviceable organs.
Brilliant stuff Vole, do keep me posted on your battlings with the marketeers of such trash!
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