If only life were that simple…

From the Irish Times, in Ferdinand von Prondzynski's column (he's President of Dublin City University), which is actually more serious than this makes it sound:

In his book, The Uses of the University, Clark Kerr, the late chancellor of the University of California at Berkeley, suggested that a university president has three key tasks that the institution’s main stakeholders will expect to see achieved: “sex for the students, athletics for the alumni, and parking for the faculty”. Only the last of these, Kerr suggested, presented a problem.