Psst, wanna buy a gold watch?

Either Uppal's had to pawn his ticker, or he's thinking of going into business with David Dickinson: it's the only reason I can think of for him to waste the time of the Minister of State for Universities in the Department of Business, Innovation and Skills:

To ask the Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills what regulations govern the sale and purchase of (a) precious metals and (b) gold and silver jewellery.

As Willetts' bland answer implies, even his own party bosses think that Uppal's a tedious attention-seeker.

The Hallmarking Act 1973 makes it illegal to sell or describe any item as being made wholly or partly of gold, silver, platinum or palladium unless it has been independently assayed and hallmarked in the UK by one of the four UK Assay Offices or, alternatively, bears a hallmark struck under the International Hallmarking Convention. In addition subordinate legislation has, at various times, been made under the Act.

No wonder Willetts is doing such a poor job as Universities Minister if he's having to deal with this kind of crap.