I'm minted. My pockets are bursting with sovereigns. Kruggerand are spilling from my intestines. Yes, at a meeting with the Vice-Chancellor this afternoon, she (£246,000 pa) and her Executive Team (minimum salary: £100,000) announced that our pay rise - despite a surplus of £10m - will be 0.031%. That contrasts with an inflation rate of about 4.5%, meaning I'm actually getting a pay cut (again) of 4.469.
Trebles all round! I should have worn holier shorts. Whatever the £8500 fees (£8000 for business students, as if we should be encouraging them) is reserved for, it's not for teachers, secretaries or cleaners.
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