One of the delights of the digital world is the way corporations attempt to insinuate themselves into your consciousness as cuddly mates. I once had an e-mail which started with the words 'Dear [Vole], Amazon loves you', which is demonstrably untrue. It never calls, never writes, unless it wants feeding, like a cat, and never answers e-mail. It's a simulation of emotion, spurred on by the knowledge that capitalism can only ever emulate true symbolic exchange, in Baudrillardian terms.
Today's mail from Amazon read 'we've noticed that you buy classical music, so you're bound to love our Pop Star to Opera Star store'. It's a tacky 'reality TV' show. Er, sorry Amazon. Like a girlfriend who's bought a tasteless article of clothing because she doesn't understand her bloke (or vice versa), you've created only embarrassment.
I buy classical music therefore I'm bound not to love Pop Star to Opera Star. I also buy lots of pop music - and am doubly immune to the charms of this show. Reality TV of this sort peddles the lie that if you're a (very, very) minor celebrity, you can do absolutely anything. In reality, being a true pop star involves musical talent, charisma, style and cultural nous. Even plastic pop stars learn a few things - lip-synching, hiding their personalities if marketing demands it, wearing outrageous clothes etc. etc. These skills shouldn't be belittled.
Opera singers need decades to develop a different set of skills: musical talent and sensitivity, respect for colleagues, theatrical ability, endless discipline.
The idea that because some idiots have scored minor hits as indentured labourers in some hit factory and have inflated egos doesn't mean that they can be opera singers. The very idea insults pop and opera alike.
So Amazon, we need a little talk. Your algorithms are all wrong. It's not me, it's you. I think we need a little space. To be honest, I've been seeing other online booksellers for ages. ABE. Alibris. Bookbrain. Yes, I know, I'm a slag. But you've never really cared about me, have you?
1 comment:
I caught a few minutes of that pop star to opera star thing. It is not good at all. Kathryn Jenkins is a judge and mentor despite the fact she is not actually an opera singer.
My favourite bit is the fact that they have filled the last judging spot with Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen, presumably because he has quite floppy hair and thus looks a bit 'arty'. That and he is cheap of course.
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