So: for one day only, as I'm a suave, sophisticated gentleman-about-town, send me your fashion conundrums (conundra?) and I'll adjudicate on your sartorial problems! I plan to use words such as 'piece' and 'directional' to encapsulate my 'look' this season.
See? I'm a natural.
10 comments:
Hello Vole/Gok,
I tend to wear only a t-shirt and jeans, a) because it's comfortable and b) a tribute to one of my idols, Jeremy Clarkson. (please bite at that)
Anyway, now that summer is rapidly approaching, should I continue to live a life of comfort, or ditch this approach for a more sartorial and upmarket style change?
Finally, someone admits that they need help.
Firstly, sir, I would have to ask you what a t-shirt and jeans actually are. Clearly a gentleman's summer wardrobe is different to that of the winter months.
Looser trousers, constructed of cotton or flannel, often in a lighter shade, are acceptable. Tennis shirts are welcome on the tennis court, but an open-necked shirt is bearable for afternoon tea, providing it is worn under a blazer, tweed jacket or linen suit. Striped blazers are an affectation of the aspirational nouveau riche.
I gather that Mr. Clarkson favours a shirt under his blazer, though twinned, unforgivably, with workmen's trousers and slip-on shoes.
Hats should be straw boaters or Panama between Ascot and the Charity Shield. Brogues or stout walking boots are the only adequate footwear. In polite society shoes fasten with laces.
I have a male friend calling this evening. How do I look alluring without looking like I've made an effort?
Now Emma, the only thing to wear to achieve this effect is perfume.
That said, it depends on the gentleman caller's grasp of cultural nuance. A garment proclaiming your devotion to a particular popular beat combo is probably a little unsubtle. An understated number by a designer whom he should recognise by the cut probably errs on the subtle side. So on balance, something slightly revealing but artfully distressed is the way to go.
No clothing endorsing an association football club is likely to be suitable. Unless red and white stripes are involved.
So Sunderland and Southampton fans are in this season, eh?
Who? Although if we're talking about directions, they're less 'in' than 'down'. I was thinking more of Mr. Tony Pulis, who appears to have had his baseball cap glued to his bonce, and his band of gallant warriors.
Well, if perfume is the only thing you wear it will certainly have an effect.
That was my implication, Anonymous.
In my case the effects are pronounced: the perfume will hide my stench and the nudity will lead to vomiting and arrest for the victim and myself respectively.
Self-humiliation was last year, Vole. As a fashion adviser you should know that.
The Vole Friend (why haven't I thought of this one before?)
That, Vole Friend (very clever) will never go out of fashion.
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