Twitter this, you hairstyled chancers

Rather than mark essays, I spent the last hour at Alchemy (a pleasant café which turns into something less salubrious at night), attending a 'Black Country Social Media Café'. It was as revoltingly smug, self-congratulatory and self-regarding as it sounds. Lots of businessmen on the make and people with 'directional' haircuts preening themselves for having heard of various items of software. A local 'journalist' (' ' because she works for the Express and Swastika) was present, as was a gimp with a camera. Needless to say, I hovered around the edges, repressing rage.

I'm offering a remedial style consultation today. I would like to stress that a custom-made t-shirt bearing your Twitter address is NEVER, EVER ACCEPTABLE. You arrogant, narcissistic idiots.