Friday, 8 May 2009

Friday's conundrum

Mr Meat Loaf proclaimed that he would do anything for love, but he wouldn't do 'that', which in his case presumably meant 'diet'.

What wouldn't you do for love? As you're my readers, you're probably lonely, desperate and vulnerable - like me - so I'm guessing that very little self-abasement is excluded, but let's hear it.

What wouldn't I do?
Hazel Blears
vote Tory
praise Ocean Colour Scene
eat fish
recognise Nagorno-Karabakh
read Coelho or any other self-help book
endure Tarantino films

I'm sure there are more.


Clive Badgerworth said...

I wouldn't give up my collections for love. But I would collect love! Ha Ha

I like your blog mr vole!

Zoot Horn said...

I would desist from commenting in acid tones about the rubbish radio stations my girlfriend listens to when I'm driving her around. And I do this, every cursed day.

The Plashing Vole said...

Never give up!

Ewarwoowar said...

Eat peanut butter.
Watch The Apprentice.
Praise Noel Edmonds.
Listen to Radio 1.
Listen to Radio 2.
Listen to Radio 3.
Listen to Victoria Derbyshire.
Praise Liverpool FC.
Shake hands with Peter Kenyon.
Vote BNP or UKIP.
Criticise Wayne Rooney.

Unless the 'love' in question is Ana Ivanovic - in which case I'd do all of them at the same fricking time.

The Plashing Vole said...

I think the less we hear about your Ana obsession, the better, Ewarwoowar.

A good list, though you're missing out by rejecting Radio 3: it's hardcore good stuff, especially Late Junction, which plays absolutely anything as long as it's interesting. Classic FM is the banal Satan of the classical world - they only play music that's been on adverts and think it's OK to have 'charts' of composers, as though you can usefully rank Bach with Reich in a meaningful way.

Much as I dislike Star Wars, aren't MU the Empire and Liverpool the rebels? (Unless that's Stoke). Rooney certainly looks like he belongs in the cantina band.

Must calm down - off to check the cricket score.

Emma said...

Swim with Crocodiles
Eat celery
Listen to Dido/Celine Dion/Cold Play
Watch Dawsons Creek/One tree hill etc
Admit that I respect Liverpool FC
Admit to being wrong

Ewarwoowar said...

Our marriage is off Emma, I'm afraid. And it's not because you don't eat celery.

*Puts on White Flag and sobs*

merciless_public said...

call Steve Bull anything other than a tatter - anything nice, I mean.

Sir Mitchell of Cashmore said...

I wouldn't do
Anne Robinson
Hazel Blears
Vote Tory (No, I'm not copying your list)
Recognise religion
Watch golf
Praise Steve Bull
or Wolves

More Conundrums please Mr. Vole!

The Plashing Vole said...

What's a tatter, and what has upset Ewarwoowar so much from Emma's list? The tension is unbearable.

I'll try to think of some footling conundrum to while away the time before we die every week or so. I thought of this one while I was swimming.

Natural Blues said...

Sit in the same room as Jools Holland.
Eat a pizza that has egg as part of its topping.
Put myself through the horror of living in randall lines again.
Bite shoe laces to get the knot out(it makes me shudder to think of it)

Emma said...

It's OK about the marriage being off - it would never have worked. Musical taste is paramount to me.

The Camel Friend said...

Most of the things I would absolutely not do for love are in fact things I do on a regular basis. These are, in order of disgust:
cleaning the toilet (where I come from, it is regarded as civilised to sit down, but well, England is not as culturally developed, I suppose)
making the bed
washing the dishes
... you get the drift.

Cooking is an exception, though.

After having thought about this some more, I realise to my satisfaction that there is no need to do anything at all, for whenever I felt I had to, it turned out not to have been love after all.
Not that I expect to learn from that experience, of course.