I'm feeling optimistic about the world today, which is not normally how people feel after spending the morning in the company of King Lear.
My Shakespeare class is for second-year students (sorry, 'level 5) and takes the form of a two-hour seminar. I knew things would go well when they worked out how to efficiently arrange the desks in a square within minutes. (One of my pet hates is that every room is set out as a school class, with all the students facing the front where the power and authority is meant to be).
We started off by comparing the various editions of the play we had: from 'school' versions, the Norton Anthology edition, the Oxford, the Arden, the RSC and various others - it was a great introduction to the art of textual and editorial studies, which led nicely into a discussion of the play's last lines: spoken by Edgar in my Arden edition, but by Albany in the Oxford version - leading to very different interpretations. (If you like this kind of thing, Claudia Johnson's new book on Austen starts with her trying to decide where a comma should go in a new Austen edition, followed by a virtuoso exposition of the ramifications of making such a decision).
After that, I showed the Nahum Tate's The History of King Lear, his rewrite with a happy ending – Edgar and Cordelia are lovers; she and Lear live happily every after, unlike Shakespeare's text – and we discussed the motivation for this and what it did to interpretation. Tate's version was actually performed far more often than Shakespeare's (which Tate calls 'an unpolished jewel'), and the other tragedies were also fitted with happy resolutions by the Victorians and others, shocked as they were by the arbitrary cruelty of justice not being done.
We discussed the cosmos's indifference to the characters' fates, and whether Lear is ultimately a nihilistic play or one concerned with social justice - all led by the students, who were informed and eager to talk. Certainly one of the most enjoyable sessions I've been in for quite a while.
Also on today: media/cultural studies students are handing in their project proposals. Some are nervous, some want a chat, some want to throw it at me and disappear without a word. We've tried really hard this year to get them to take the proposal seriously and start researching. From looking at the pile, I'd say about 40% have opened a book before writing the proposal. Which is an improvement.
Here's a tip, kids. A dissertation called 'Blogging: is it different in China and the West?' might be considered a little broad and rather vague…
Wednesday, 17 October 2012
So that's how the BBC plays it…
You may recall that I complained to the BBC about Newsnight guests not declaring their oil exploration interests while discussing climate science. I got pretty annoyed that the complaints unit made me go through the same 28 questions to give them the transmission date even though a) I'd already done so and couldn't have completed the web questionnaire without doing so and b) it's on Newsnight's website.
Judging by the tone of today's email, this was clearly a delaying tactic:
So what's being done about my complaint? Well, this latest email is to tell me that they won't be able to respond within the standard time-frame.
*Bangs head on desk*.
Judging by the tone of today's email, this was clearly a delaying tactic:
Thank you for taking time to contact us again. We are sorry that you were not satisfied with our earlier response to your complaint and appreciate that you felt strongly enough to contact us again about the matter.How to read this other than an admission that viewers are intended to undertake trial-by-website to weed out those too tired or dispirited to follow things through? Their 'earlier response' was simply an e-mail (from an address which can't take replies) asking for the transmission date - not a 'response' at all. I can't point this out to them because I can't reply to this email either. To do so, I'd have to fill in the 28 question website again. Kafka would certainly feel at home at Capita/BBC
So what's being done about my complaint? Well, this latest email is to tell me that they won't be able to respond within the standard time-frame.
*Bangs head on desk*.
Tuesday, 16 October 2012
Fair trade… for some
Like many of us, I'm a hypocrite, especially when it comes to Fair Trade. I'm a hypocrite because I buy Fair Trade products without looking too closely at the question of whether such a thing is possible but also because I buy Fair Trade products from people who aren't being treated fairly at all.
Take my workplace. We've just started selling Starbucks coffee, which is apparently 'Fair Trade'. I wonder, of course, whether that means the growers have hard-nosed negotiators and lawyers just like the multibillion dollar corporation. I further wonder whether anything can be fairly traded when Starbucks has paid no tax at all in the UK since 2009, and only £3m in 14 years, despite doing £3bn of business here.
The secret, of course, is what I call the Branson-Vodafone Manoeuvre. You establish a brass-plate office with a secretary in a tax haven. You put the intellectual property there (i.e. the brand name). Then your subsidiaries in the countries where you really do business pay to licence the brand name. Your tax haven charges them an amount of cash not unadjacent to what the subsidiary would have made in profit. Or you generate fictitious debts between a network of offshore companies so it looks like you always owe more than you take in.
Bingo: instant losses, no tax paid, company continues to depend on the services (education, infrastructure, policing, healthcare etc) that taxes pay for.
But there's something revolting closer to home. I feel profoundly uncomfortable buying Fair Trade coffee from (mostly) women who are being paid minimum or low wages, and employed on Zero Hours contracts: a system which means they can't get other jobs because their hours are unpredictable and entirely flexible at the whims of the employer. They get dumped for the long summer months and in other places (Pizza Hut, acccording to one employee I know), they can be made to sit around - unpaid - at work in case enough customers come in to require them: time they could spend in another job, extending their education or whatever. My catering and cleaning colleagues are often invisible. They're not unionised because they're kept in fear that they may not be rehired (and perhaps some unions don't make enough effort). They deserve our respect too.
Fair Trade is a noble idea, to some extent. But I worry that it makes us believe that everything on the Home Front is lovely, that only smiling natives in Kenya or India need this special protection (and let's not forget: Fair Trade shouldn't be some lovely extra for which we pay a premium if we're rich: it should be the default position). The worst jobs in this country are done by an army of insecure, badly-paid, disposable people whose names we rarely learn. Let's Trade Fair with them.
Take my workplace. We've just started selling Starbucks coffee, which is apparently 'Fair Trade'. I wonder, of course, whether that means the growers have hard-nosed negotiators and lawyers just like the multibillion dollar corporation. I further wonder whether anything can be fairly traded when Starbucks has paid no tax at all in the UK since 2009, and only £3m in 14 years, despite doing £3bn of business here.
The secret, of course, is what I call the Branson-Vodafone Manoeuvre. You establish a brass-plate office with a secretary in a tax haven. You put the intellectual property there (i.e. the brand name). Then your subsidiaries in the countries where you really do business pay to licence the brand name. Your tax haven charges them an amount of cash not unadjacent to what the subsidiary would have made in profit. Or you generate fictitious debts between a network of offshore companies so it looks like you always owe more than you take in.
Accounts filed with Companies House, which must be a truthful reflection of the business, according to HM Revenue & Customs (HMRC), showed a 10th consecutive annual loss.
A year later, after filing a £26m loss in the UK, Starbucks' chief executive, Howard Schultz, told investors the business here was so successful he planned to apply the lessons to the company's biggest market in the US.
Chief financial officer, Troy Alstead, called the UK business "profitable" in 2009 after accounts revealed a record £52m loss. Last year, John Culver, the president of Starbucks international division, said: "We are very pleased with the performance in the UK." Accounts reported a £33m loss.
Bingo: instant losses, no tax paid, company continues to depend on the services (education, infrastructure, policing, healthcare etc) that taxes pay for.
But there's something revolting closer to home. I feel profoundly uncomfortable buying Fair Trade coffee from (mostly) women who are being paid minimum or low wages, and employed on Zero Hours contracts: a system which means they can't get other jobs because their hours are unpredictable and entirely flexible at the whims of the employer. They get dumped for the long summer months and in other places (Pizza Hut, acccording to one employee I know), they can be made to sit around - unpaid - at work in case enough customers come in to require them: time they could spend in another job, extending their education or whatever. My catering and cleaning colleagues are often invisible. They're not unionised because they're kept in fear that they may not be rehired (and perhaps some unions don't make enough effort). They deserve our respect too.
Fair Trade is a noble idea, to some extent. But I worry that it makes us believe that everything on the Home Front is lovely, that only smiling natives in Kenya or India need this special protection (and let's not forget: Fair Trade shouldn't be some lovely extra for which we pay a premium if we're rich: it should be the default position). The worst jobs in this country are done by an army of insecure, badly-paid, disposable people whose names we rarely learn. Let's Trade Fair with them.
Book fear
How can you excuse the man who buys bookcases of expensive wood, and piling into them the works of unknown, worthless authors, goes yawning amongst his thousands of volumes? He knows their titles, their bindings, but nothing else. It is in the homes of the idlest men that you find the biggest libraries — range upon range of books, ceiling high. For nowadays a library is one of the essential fittings of a home, like a bathroom. You could forgive this if it were all due to a zeal for learning. But these libraries of the works of piety and genius are collected for mere show, to ornament the walls of the house.
This is Seneca, the Stoic philosopher and for a while trophy special adviser to Nero, which led inevitably to his being forced to commit suicide. Hmm… I feel I'm slipping into this category as I buy more books than I can read. They do, as someone once said, furnish a room. I have 13 of IKEA's cheapest, nastiest bookcases - I needed quantity, not quality, and my flat and office are now full to bursting, a testament to my appetite for junk food literature and magpie collection. Is there a purpose now? How many hours of reading time are left to me over the course of what I would hesitate to call 'a life'? Tempus fugit, you know.
Books in today:
Alex Scarrow's Last Light and Afterlight; Warren Ellis's Supergod (clearly in an apocalyptic mood the day I ordered those); Chris Wooding's pirates-in-space sequel The Black Lung Captain, Niall Griffiths' Kelly + Victor because I couldn't find my original copy, and Lloyd Robson's bizarre and challenging bbboing! & associated weirdness. It's exactly that. And he typeset it himself, so maximum respect.
Still, at least I'm not one of the several second-year students who have asked me whether they have to read the whole book. *Repeatedly bangs head on desk*
Monday, 15 October 2012
Hi from Hilbre
More pictures of our trip to Hilbre Island in the Dee estuary. Full set here, or see the previous post for another few favourites. Click to enlarge.
A monastic rock burial on Hilbre Island
Poser
Four Lads Who Shook The Wirral
We went walking off the Wirral this Saturday. It's the peninsula which juts out between Liverpool and North Wales - an odd, interesting place. The home (hence the title of this post) of Half Man Half Biscuit, purveyors of folky-rocky satirical comment since the early 1980s. If there's no HMHB in your life, you're missing out.
We were aiming for Hilbre Island, two rocks and an islet in the middle of the Dee estuary to which you can walk at low tide, given a pair of waterproof boots and a better sense of balance than me: muddy rocks, a big camera, a camera bag and a rucksack ensured that I took a tumble more than once. Ripped my lovely new lightweight waterproof, skinned my knuckles and bruised my bum, but at least the camera is unharmed. I did make the mistake of taking my Sigma 70-300 telephoto though, instead of my Nikon 70-200. What a waste: slow, soft and heavy. Anyone want it?
However, it was a glorious day. The weather changed every twenty minutes from stunning autumnal sunshine to scudding storms as weather fronts swept in from the sea and up the estuary. The horizon was huge and it felt distinctly eerie to look back at land over what seemed like a smooth lake before the tide left the sands fully exposed. We saw little egrets, linnets, herons, oystercatchers, Brent geese and a seal colony - a hundred mega-slugs lounging around in the sun.
The whole set of photos is here, but I'll post some favourites now and in a subsequent post. Click to enlarge.
We were aiming for Hilbre Island, two rocks and an islet in the middle of the Dee estuary to which you can walk at low tide, given a pair of waterproof boots and a better sense of balance than me: muddy rocks, a big camera, a camera bag and a rucksack ensured that I took a tumble more than once. Ripped my lovely new lightweight waterproof, skinned my knuckles and bruised my bum, but at least the camera is unharmed. I did make the mistake of taking my Sigma 70-300 telephoto though, instead of my Nikon 70-200. What a waste: slow, soft and heavy. Anyone want it?
However, it was a glorious day. The weather changed every twenty minutes from stunning autumnal sunshine to scudding storms as weather fronts swept in from the sea and up the estuary. The horizon was huge and it felt distinctly eerie to look back at land over what seemed like a smooth lake before the tide left the sands fully exposed. We saw little egrets, linnets, herons, oystercatchers, Brent geese and a seal colony - a hundred mega-slugs lounging around in the sun.
The whole set of photos is here, but I'll post some favourites now and in a subsequent post. Click to enlarge.
Hilbre Island from West Kirby
Sailing boats off West Kirby
Seals!
More seals. Well, the same seals, different picture.
Hilbre is a massive midden, where gulls drop shells from a height to open them up - we watched some doing it.
Middle Hilbre from Hilbre
Water reflecting from a pond on Hilbre
Friday, 12 October 2012
Recipe for the perfect night in
Sometimes, you just need to switch off completely. The other night, the perfect evening consisted of a bottle of home-brewed beer by my friend Pritpal (we're calling it Pritpale), a CD of George Formby songs (amazing how many of them are about seeing people naked or being seen naked: I'm sure there's a conference paper in there somewhere) and a volume of Calvin and Hobbes strips. One of the greatest pleasures anyone can have is introducing other people to such things and spreading the pleasure a little.
Here's a taste of all these delights… other than the beer, thanks to this antiquated internet, restricted as it is to text, images and sounds.
Calvin isn't very Calvinistic, but Hobbes does have episodes of Hobbesian philosophy, as in this strip. He's also been know to describe humanity as 'a good source of protein' and express a love of fast food ('surprised and running' is how he likes it). Calvin is perceptive, sometimes charming, and massively egotistical - which is fine for a six-year old. His Snow Art is both witty and disturbed, his views on academia and the art world are cynical and highly informed, and his snowmen are acutely aware of mortality… especially the suicidal ones.
As for their author, Bill Watterson is a quiet genius. Liberal and often bewildered by the speed, selfishness and shallowness of consumerist society, his strip calls for a Thoreau-esque re-evaluation of the way we live. He lives his principles too: refused to allow Calvin and Hobbes merchandise and retired to paint when he decided he had nothing further to say. Admirable. You may need to click some of these to enlarge.
Here's a taste of all these delights… other than the beer, thanks to this antiquated internet, restricted as it is to text, images and sounds.
Calvin isn't very Calvinistic, but Hobbes does have episodes of Hobbesian philosophy, as in this strip. He's also been know to describe humanity as 'a good source of protein' and express a love of fast food ('surprised and running' is how he likes it). Calvin is perceptive, sometimes charming, and massively egotistical - which is fine for a six-year old. His Snow Art is both witty and disturbed, his views on academia and the art world are cynical and highly informed, and his snowmen are acutely aware of mortality… especially the suicidal ones.
As for their author, Bill Watterson is a quiet genius. Liberal and often bewildered by the speed, selfishness and shallowness of consumerist society, his strip calls for a Thoreau-esque re-evaluation of the way we live. He lives his principles too: refused to allow Calvin and Hobbes merchandise and retired to paint when he decided he had nothing further to say. Admirable. You may need to click some of these to enlarge.
The duo also has much to contribute to academic writing: we've all felt this way… sometimes about our own contributions, even if it is a reactionary attitude:
He also understands why dumb-asses like Romney sometimes seem more dynamic and attractive than thoughtful politicians:
And of course Calvin is a post-modernist historian:
I'm also beginning to understand where Blair got the idea for his downloaded Iraq War 45 Minutes To Doom Dossier (a trick many students still try to pull):
Anyway, you'll have to read the others for yourself. Meanwhile, you'll be needing some George Formby to go with your reading:
This one's the uncharacteristically minor-key (though still saucy) The Lancashire Toreador:
More in character is With My Little Stick Of Blackpool Rock. There's something sinister about Formby's voyeurism/scopophilia but it's all played for laughs in true Music Hall style, and he's the kind of light entertainment celebrity I find acceptable: he was famous for being good at what he did and left it at that. Mind you, his wife Bessy (by all accounts a formidable character) dealt with a racist South African prime minister by telling him to 'piss off you horrible little man', so I'm inclined to like them. While we're on the subject, I'd also recommend Gracie Fields, Max Miller (too filthy to be recorded, apparently), Two Ton Tessie (a Welsh Irish banjolele player) and a whole host of 30s/40s entertainers. They're virtually all from Lancaster - the combination of a culturally confident working class with little interest in metropolitan taste-making, plus Blackpool's power as the biggest holiday resort in Britain meant that there was little pressure to refine accents and tastes… until film and TV came calling.
This is the famous 'When I'm Cleaning Windows' - again, voyeuristic sauce!
Here's some fairly innocuous Max Miller:
and some Tessie O'Shea - check out her playing:
and finally Gracie Fields' 'What Can You Give A Nudist For His Birthday?'
Author, Author
Glorious evening yesterday. We invited Niall Griffiths and Horatio Clare to read and discuss their Mabinogion retellings.
We started with a panel discussion (including yours truly) to explore the nature of mythology and its relevance, the practice of writing and a range of other subjects, went into the reading, and then opened the floor to questions from the students and colleagues massed (ahem) for the event. We talked about mythology being the history of the oppressed, resistance, the experience of reading PhD theses about your own work and a whole range of other subjects.
Niall and Horatio are extremely good value as guests. They're thoughtful, relaxed, opinionated and ridiculously well-read. They also demonstrate the quality I think is essential in a writer: they're interested in people. Little details or events catch their attention and become material.
If you've not read their work so far, read their Mabinogion stories (Horatio's is The Prince's Pen and Niall's is The Dreams of Max and Ronnie), then all their other work, but don't expect them to be much like the mythical stuff. Niall Griffiths' might lazily be likened to Irvine Welsh: novels in full dialect (Liverpool in his case), low-life characters etc. Actually, there's a lot more to him than this: below the rush of violence, drugs and dark, farcical misadventures, his characters and plots draw on a rich hinterland of mythology and half-forgotten origins. Frequently set in Liverpool and/or its hinterland North Wales, the legacies of the population's Irish and Welsh roots locate and inform Griffiths' often disturbing presentation of a hand-to-mouth existence. Start with Stump (never has a Morris Minor seemed so menacing) and its semi-sequel Wreckage, Grits or the Welsh Straw Dogs novel Sheepshagger. Kelly and Victor, his novel about a desperate, existentialist dysfunctional relationship is about to be released as a film, and Wreckage is in production now.
Niall's a gruff, scruffy, warm bloke – tattoos, cap and fascination with everything: he found the concept of Bilston Chips hard to swallow. He is Liverpool personified, boasting the full range of Irish and Welsh grandparents and an openness to the world rather than merely to England. Horatio's a different model of a writer: suave and sophisticated but just as warm. His work ranges more widely than Wales, and covers more genres - he's a journalist, a radio drama writer and a memoirist as well as a novelist. Running for the Hills recalls his rocky childhood amidst divorcing parents, expulsion from exclusive schools and the difficulty of being a borders Welshman with an aristocratic English accent: intriguingly, he wavered between 'we' and 'they' when talking about the Welsh. Truant: Notes from the Slippery Slope covers his wild 20s: the escapades an intelligent and privileged young man gets into when he tries to escape his origins - he discovers that slumming it can rapidly descend into squalor and futility. He's also a highly accomplished travel writer - particularly on Africa.
Sadly, the audience only got a taste of Horatio and Niall's wit and wisdom. I got the lot, as we headed to the pub, then to Tipton for dinner at Mad O'Rourke's World Famous Pie Factory. If it isn't world famous, it should be. The pies were massive and delicious, and the conversation slipped easily between banter, teasing and erudite discussions of books. As usual, we all came away with a list of more to read… I also loved Niall's description of one great unwritten Welsh novel by Richard John Evans (author of the stunning Entertainment) as 'Don DaiLillo'. Perhaps you had to be there.
A grand night. Be there next year.
 |
| Horatio Clare |
We started with a panel discussion (including yours truly) to explore the nature of mythology and its relevance, the practice of writing and a range of other subjects, went into the reading, and then opened the floor to questions from the students and colleagues massed (ahem) for the event. We talked about mythology being the history of the oppressed, resistance, the experience of reading PhD theses about your own work and a whole range of other subjects.
 |
| Horatio Clare |
 |
| Horatio Clare and Niall Griffiths |
 |
| Horatio Clare and Niall Griffiths listening to a question |
Niall and Horatio are extremely good value as guests. They're thoughtful, relaxed, opinionated and ridiculously well-read. They also demonstrate the quality I think is essential in a writer: they're interested in people. Little details or events catch their attention and become material.
 |
| Niall Griffiths reading from The Dreams of Max and Ronnie |
If you've not read their work so far, read their Mabinogion stories (Horatio's is The Prince's Pen and Niall's is The Dreams of Max and Ronnie), then all their other work, but don't expect them to be much like the mythical stuff. Niall Griffiths' might lazily be likened to Irvine Welsh: novels in full dialect (Liverpool in his case), low-life characters etc. Actually, there's a lot more to him than this: below the rush of violence, drugs and dark, farcical misadventures, his characters and plots draw on a rich hinterland of mythology and half-forgotten origins. Frequently set in Liverpool and/or its hinterland North Wales, the legacies of the population's Irish and Welsh roots locate and inform Griffiths' often disturbing presentation of a hand-to-mouth existence. Start with Stump (never has a Morris Minor seemed so menacing) and its semi-sequel Wreckage, Grits or the Welsh Straw Dogs novel Sheepshagger. Kelly and Victor, his novel about a desperate, existentialist dysfunctional relationship is about to be released as a film, and Wreckage is in production now.
 |
| Niall Griffiths |
Niall's a gruff, scruffy, warm bloke – tattoos, cap and fascination with everything: he found the concept of Bilston Chips hard to swallow. He is Liverpool personified, boasting the full range of Irish and Welsh grandparents and an openness to the world rather than merely to England. Horatio's a different model of a writer: suave and sophisticated but just as warm. His work ranges more widely than Wales, and covers more genres - he's a journalist, a radio drama writer and a memoirist as well as a novelist. Running for the Hills recalls his rocky childhood amidst divorcing parents, expulsion from exclusive schools and the difficulty of being a borders Welshman with an aristocratic English accent: intriguingly, he wavered between 'we' and 'they' when talking about the Welsh. Truant: Notes from the Slippery Slope covers his wild 20s: the escapades an intelligent and privileged young man gets into when he tries to escape his origins - he discovers that slumming it can rapidly descend into squalor and futility. He's also a highly accomplished travel writer - particularly on Africa.
 |
| Horatio Clare and Niall Griffiths |
Sadly, the audience only got a taste of Horatio and Niall's wit and wisdom. I got the lot, as we headed to the pub, then to Tipton for dinner at Mad O'Rourke's World Famous Pie Factory. If it isn't world famous, it should be. The pies were massive and delicious, and the conversation slipped easily between banter, teasing and erudite discussions of books. As usual, we all came away with a list of more to read… I also loved Niall's description of one great unwritten Welsh novel by Richard John Evans (author of the stunning Entertainment) as 'Don DaiLillo'. Perhaps you had to be there.
A grand night. Be there next year.
Thursday, 11 October 2012
Welcome back, normality
Hello everyone. In my new spirit of achieving a degree of mental and emotional balance, I'm not needling lying Tory scum today. I've an idea that every single day will offer fresh opportunities, so I'm allowed a day off. Besides, there's more to me than sheer impotent fury. Really!
Today is a research day, a rare thing here in Vole Towers. I'm writing a joint book chapter proposal on the history of state attempts to suppress or counter underground media - the radical press in the 18th/19th centuries, and social media now. Then I'm going to do a bit more work on my travel writing in Wales paper, thendrown myself go for a swim. The evening is also going to be fun: authors Horatio Clare and Niall Griffiths are coming to read from their contributions to Seren Books' stunning Mabinogion retellings series and talk about writing. It's open to all, and starts at 6 p.m. so do come. But you're not invited to dinner afterwards. One of them asked us to take him to Mad O'Rourke's World Famous Pie Factory in Tipton. Apparently you get pie served on a shovel. I'm genuinely excited.
Soundtrack today: A. R. Kane, Palace Music, Blueboy and the new Holst CD… Imogen Holst, that is.
Today is a research day, a rare thing here in Vole Towers. I'm writing a joint book chapter proposal on the history of state attempts to suppress or counter underground media - the radical press in the 18th/19th centuries, and social media now. Then I'm going to do a bit more work on my travel writing in Wales paper, then
Soundtrack today: A. R. Kane, Palace Music, Blueboy and the new Holst CD… Imogen Holst, that is.
Wednesday, 10 October 2012
Tough on crime… unless it pays.
I was very heartened by the Conservative Party's various policing and justice ministers yesterday. They're promising a new era of zero tolerance and swingeing sentences for criminals.
Grayling… explicitly promised to be a "tough justice secretary"
The home secretary, Theresa May, reinforced the theme with her announcement of a new "pick a punishment" power for victims of anti-social behaviour and her promise that Conservative candidates in the first elections for police and crime commissioners to be held on 15 November will have a "laser-like focus on cutting crime".
"Theresa used to say she locked 'em up and Ken let them out. Now Theresa locks 'em up, and Chris throws away the key."
"I've made no bones about my intention to be a tough justice secretary. That means I want our justice system to be firm, fair and transparent," Grayling said.I'm delighted, frankly. Why? Because I know a group of people who are benefitting from the proceeds of crime, which is a crime in itself. They've received stolen money. The thief was a man named Asil Nadir, who ran a major corporation (Polly Peck) in the 1980s. He looted it of £29, 000, 000 and fled to Northern Cyprus. He returned last year to face justice and was convicted and sentenced to a minimum of ten years in prison.
So which bunch of crooks took some of his stolen money? Why, it's the Conservative Party! They accepted a £400, 000 donation from Polly Peck, channelled through subsidiaries without the consent of directors or shareholders.
Touche Ross, the administrators of Polly Peck, wrote a letter – widely reported four years ago – to the party's central office claiming that £365,000 came from money defrauded from the Polly Peck empire.
"It is the contention of the administrator that Mr Nadir is liable to repay the sums concerned as a result of his fraud and/or breach of fiduciary duty and/or malfeasance as a director," the letter concluded. "I would urge you to return the donations to Polly Peck so that the creditors can at least obtain some small measure of compensation from this unfortunate affair."
At the time, Conservative leaders promised to pay it back if it was found to be stolen. Now they're refusing to return it to compensate the shareholders and employees of the looted company.
Clearly crime is something other people commit.
Time for a letter to my local MP Paul Uppal and to the chairman of the Tory Party… one Grant Shapps! Just sent this:
Dear Mr Uppal and Mr Shapps,
I am heartened by the Conservative Party's crackdown on crime. In that spirit, can I ask you to confirm that the Conservative Party will return the money donated by Asil Nadir via several subsidiaries in the 1980s, as promised by Sir John Major?
According to Touche Ross, the liquidators, at least £365,000 was illegally donated: "It is the contention of the administrator that Mr Nadir is liable to repay the sums concerned as a result of his fraud and/or breach of fiduciary duty and/or malfeasance as a director," the letter concluded. "I would urge you to return the donations to Polly Peck so that the creditors can at least obtain some small measure of compensation from this unfortunate affair."
If this money is not returned, I'm afraid the only conclusion one can draw is that the Party's attitude to crime is contingent on its own financial health.
Yours,
Back to Shapps
Note for new readers: a summary of my dealings with the ASA and Shapps can be found here.
A final note with regard to Grant Shapps. Despite officially having nothing to do with HowToCorp, he seems to know an awful lot about the company's dealings with the Advertising Standards Authority.
That indefatigable reporter, Michael Crick, is still pursuing Mr Shapps, who is still insisting - despite my research and that of many others - that all the company's testimonials were genuine (despite his business selling material including 'How To Solicit Testimonials Easily, Quickly and on Autopilot'. He's telling all and sundry that the ASA has accepted that they are real too. This is a flat-out lie. According to my letter from the ASA, they agreed not to investigate my suspicions after HowToCorp promised not to run the offending material any more. This is, of course, a tacit acknowledgement of guilt.
Obviously I'd like to know why the ASA decided not to investigate, but for some reason it's exempt from Freedom of Information legislation. They won't show me the assurances HowToCorp sent them, nor any other material - despite the company seeing my complaint and personal details. It stinks, frankly. Mr Shapps could of course release all these documents, but he certainly won't.
So to be completely clear: Grant Shapps is a liar. HowToCorp's adverts have not been cleared: they've been withdrawn without investigation.
A final note with regard to Grant Shapps. Despite officially having nothing to do with HowToCorp, he seems to know an awful lot about the company's dealings with the Advertising Standards Authority.
That indefatigable reporter, Michael Crick, is still pursuing Mr Shapps, who is still insisting - despite my research and that of many others - that all the company's testimonials were genuine (despite his business selling material including 'How To Solicit Testimonials Easily, Quickly and on Autopilot'. He's telling all and sundry that the ASA has accepted that they are real too. This is a flat-out lie. According to my letter from the ASA, they agreed not to investigate my suspicions after HowToCorp promised not to run the offending material any more. This is, of course, a tacit acknowledgement of guilt.
Obviously I'd like to know why the ASA decided not to investigate, but for some reason it's exempt from Freedom of Information legislation. They won't show me the assurances HowToCorp sent them, nor any other material - despite the company seeing my complaint and personal details. It stinks, frankly. Mr Shapps could of course release all these documents, but he certainly won't.
So to be completely clear: Grant Shapps is a liar. HowToCorp's adverts have not been cleared: they've been withdrawn without investigation.
Tuesday, 9 October 2012
Why… er… thanks!
A belated birthday gift has arrived from one of my wittiest and loveliest colleagues. She has, in her wisdom, given me a pair of voluminous Y-fronts. Not just any old Y-fronts: Boris Johnson Y-Fronts.
Needless to say, I disapprove of Boris Johnson: under the clown is a very unpleasant right-winger of the worst sort: like Cameron and Osborne, he's a hereditary millionaire fond of telling people that a bit of hard work will drag them up from the gutter.
If they're anything like Boris Johnson's own pants, these would spend quite a lot of time on the floor of somebody else's bedroom. As it is, they'll keep me amused for years, and when he's Prime Minister of England (I can't see Scotland, Wales or even the NI Unionists sticking around for Boris), I'll donate them to the People's History Museum, along with my 2001 election lollies depicting Tony Blair, Michael Howard and whoever the Lib Dems had in those more innocent times.
Needless to say, I disapprove of Boris Johnson: under the clown is a very unpleasant right-winger of the worst sort: like Cameron and Osborne, he's a hereditary millionaire fond of telling people that a bit of hard work will drag them up from the gutter.
If they're anything like Boris Johnson's own pants, these would spend quite a lot of time on the floor of somebody else's bedroom. As it is, they'll keep me amused for years, and when he's Prime Minister of England (I can't see Scotland, Wales or even the NI Unionists sticking around for Boris), I'll donate them to the People's History Museum, along with my 2001 election lollies depicting Tony Blair, Michael Howard and whoever the Lib Dems had in those more innocent times.
Desperately seeking Moby
Ploughing up and down the pool today, I tried to distract myself from the sheer misery. After musing on the decadence of a society which requires artificial exercise to keep us fit (i.e. sedentary lives, excessive food, powered transport), I comforted myself with the thought that one day, I'll be able to stop swimming, once I reach a theoretical level of fitness.
That thought kept me going for about 3 metres before I realised that given the rest of my life, I wouldn't actually be stopping other than for Death. Who isn't much good at the backstroke. Then I took to contemplating how many lengths I'd have to complete before I visit the Undiscovered Country (that's Hamlet, folks, and also the subtitle of Star Trek VI, not one I'd recommend).
So here goes. If I stick to my current diet of 50 lengths twice a week for roughly 46 weeks of the year, that's 2300 lengths per year. At a guess, I'll live until 85 unless Grant Shapps and Paul Uppal send the boys round. So that's another 48 years, or 110, 400 lengths to go. Multiply that by 25 to get 2, 760, 000 metres, and divide by 100 to arrive at a grand total of 27,600 kilometres left to swim. By TOUTATIS I want to give up now.
So how long will it take? I'm getting a bit faster, but soon I'll decline into senile decrepitude, so I'm averaging out my speed at 38 minutes per 50 lengths. That's 72 minutes per week or 55 hours twenty minutes per year. So basically I spend over two days per year doing something I entirely detest. Over the rest of my life, I'm going to spend just over 2649 hours or 110 days mindlessly dragging my pasty, bulging carcass up and down through other swimmers' urine in fruitless pursuit of a youth I never actually had.
Still, at least nobody will shout 'you fat bastard' at me on the street anymore.
That thought kept me going for about 3 metres before I realised that given the rest of my life, I wouldn't actually be stopping other than for Death. Who isn't much good at the backstroke. Then I took to contemplating how many lengths I'd have to complete before I visit the Undiscovered Country (that's Hamlet, folks, and also the subtitle of Star Trek VI, not one I'd recommend).
So here goes. If I stick to my current diet of 50 lengths twice a week for roughly 46 weeks of the year, that's 2300 lengths per year. At a guess, I'll live until 85 unless Grant Shapps and Paul Uppal send the boys round. So that's another 48 years, or 110, 400 lengths to go. Multiply that by 25 to get 2, 760, 000 metres, and divide by 100 to arrive at a grand total of 27,600 kilometres left to swim. By TOUTATIS I want to give up now.
So how long will it take? I'm getting a bit faster, but soon I'll decline into senile decrepitude, so I'm averaging out my speed at 38 minutes per 50 lengths. That's 72 minutes per week or 55 hours twenty minutes per year. So basically I spend over two days per year doing something I entirely detest. Over the rest of my life, I'm going to spend just over 2649 hours or 110 days mindlessly dragging my pasty, bulging carcass up and down through other swimmers' urine in fruitless pursuit of a youth I never actually had.
Still, at least nobody will shout 'you fat bastard' at me on the street anymore.
Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (!?)
Morning everybody. My new determination to greet the world with a sunny disposition had lasted an evening's Newsnight and the 250 yard commute from my flat to work, and it's paying off. I've deleted 350 emails without a care, and now I'm actually doing some research (though the dread prospect of actually doing some writing is looming: I've two deadlines in the next week and another coming soon). At the moment I'm reading K. L. James's chapter on 'Meeting Kate Kearney at Killarney, 1850-1914' in a friend's anthology about Romantic travel writing. Kearney was a legendary Irish beauty who plied tourists with poitÃn in the Gap of Dunloe - for generations afterwards unwitting travellers were separated from their cash by the charm and cunning of her supposed granddaughters. You can still visit, though the Cottage's charms are more legal and doubtless more expensive these days.
For musical accompaniment, I'm listening to Jonathan Harvey's new Bird Concerto With Pianosong. Obviously anything with birdsong is automatically compared to Messiaen's work. I have to say I haven't a critical opinion on this piece yet - bits of it are pretty, bits of it are ugly, but I haven't quite got hold of it as a whole, so far.
There's no online footage of the Concerto, but here's Harvey's tribute to Messaien:
For musical accompaniment, I'm listening to Jonathan Harvey's new Bird Concerto With Pianosong. Obviously anything with birdsong is automatically compared to Messiaen's work. I have to say I haven't a critical opinion on this piece yet - bits of it are pretty, bits of it are ugly, but I haven't quite got hold of it as a whole, so far.
There's no online footage of the Concerto, but here's Harvey's tribute to Messaien:
Monday, 8 October 2012
Away from the Tories and Jew-haters…
After taking a seminar in which one lad matter-of-factly stated that press campaigns against Jews should be allowed because 'Jews run the world', I want to smash my head repeatedly against the desk, or think about other things.
Like books. I want to blog a little more often about the books I'm reading if only to demonstrate that there's more to my life than coping with anti-Semites and making malicious complaints about innocent Tory MPs. So here goes.
This weekend, I read Claire Kilroy's The Devil You Know. It's a fast-moving satire of the insane Irish property-and-debt boom. The principal characters are Tristram, an alcoholic representative of impoverished Anglo-Irish Old Money, and Dessie, a fast-buck local builder. Aided by M. Deauville, Tristram's AA sponsor and mysterious financier, they rapidly move from being cowboy builders to international speculators, with the inevitable and familiar result.
The novel's strengths are its boldness in (almost) naming names: the corrupt builders, financiers and politicians are identifiable to anyone who has read a recent copy of the Irish Times; its clear-eyed analysis of the cultural path which led to Ireland's current state, and its beautiful writing. The passage of a pint of Guinness from the table to Tristam's lips is a virtuoso exercise, and there are uncountable funny bits too. I liked the line that to be a local 'your mother had to be from your father's side of the family'.
The novel's weaknesses are primarily those of the plot. The title and M. Deauville's name rather given everything away from page one, and I'm not sure this twist does anything other than proclaim that it's more than a 'state of the nation' novel, it's a work of Literary Fiction. The quality of the writing does that: this weak and obvious twist actually subverts the author's otherwise firm grasp of narrative - as though she's ashamed to be writing in a realist form. Relax, Claire.
It's well worth reading - as are all her others.
The other book I started is one of Ben's rejects, I, Vampire by Jody Scott. He didn't think much of it, but I'm enjoying it, despite having zero interest in tales of the undead. The strapline ('Can a Seven Hundred Year Old Transylvanian Find True Love With A Revolutionary Rysemian Fish-Woman?') and cover artwork are enough: a stylish vampire and a freshly-bitten Virginia Woolf, not a standard horror approach. There's also an introduction by Theodore Sturgeon, a thoughtful and interesting critic and SF reader himself.
So far, our unapologetic vampire (who is also unapologetically turned-on by both the human Virginia Woolf and the fish-alien currently posing as the gloomy modernist) has explained that the roots of modern society is capitalism's penchant for preying on the inadequacies, loneliness and desperation of humanity in a way that is in fact less honest and straight-forward than her own need for a few ounces of blood now and then. It's a genre send-up, but it's also thoughtful, political, witty and very stylishly written. Recommended (so far).
Like books. I want to blog a little more often about the books I'm reading if only to demonstrate that there's more to my life than coping with anti-Semites and making malicious complaints about innocent Tory MPs. So here goes.
This weekend, I read Claire Kilroy's The Devil You Know. It's a fast-moving satire of the insane Irish property-and-debt boom. The principal characters are Tristram, an alcoholic representative of impoverished Anglo-Irish Old Money, and Dessie, a fast-buck local builder. Aided by M. Deauville, Tristram's AA sponsor and mysterious financier, they rapidly move from being cowboy builders to international speculators, with the inevitable and familiar result.
The novel's strengths are its boldness in (almost) naming names: the corrupt builders, financiers and politicians are identifiable to anyone who has read a recent copy of the Irish Times; its clear-eyed analysis of the cultural path which led to Ireland's current state, and its beautiful writing. The passage of a pint of Guinness from the table to Tristam's lips is a virtuoso exercise, and there are uncountable funny bits too. I liked the line that to be a local 'your mother had to be from your father's side of the family'.
The novel's weaknesses are primarily those of the plot. The title and M. Deauville's name rather given everything away from page one, and I'm not sure this twist does anything other than proclaim that it's more than a 'state of the nation' novel, it's a work of Literary Fiction. The quality of the writing does that: this weak and obvious twist actually subverts the author's otherwise firm grasp of narrative - as though she's ashamed to be writing in a realist form. Relax, Claire.
It's well worth reading - as are all her others.
The other book I started is one of Ben's rejects, I, Vampire by Jody Scott. He didn't think much of it, but I'm enjoying it, despite having zero interest in tales of the undead. The strapline ('Can a Seven Hundred Year Old Transylvanian Find True Love With A Revolutionary Rysemian Fish-Woman?') and cover artwork are enough: a stylish vampire and a freshly-bitten Virginia Woolf, not a standard horror approach. There's also an introduction by Theodore Sturgeon, a thoughtful and interesting critic and SF reader himself.
So far, our unapologetic vampire (who is also unapologetically turned-on by both the human Virginia Woolf and the fish-alien currently posing as the gloomy modernist) has explained that the roots of modern society is capitalism's penchant for preying on the inadequacies, loneliness and desperation of humanity in a way that is in fact less honest and straight-forward than her own need for a few ounces of blood now and then. It's a genre send-up, but it's also thoughtful, political, witty and very stylishly written. Recommended (so far).
Rights: now a commodity
George Osborne's big idea to save the economy: Share for Rights:
There's another obvious rejoinder to this argument too: if settling unfair dismissal, bullying and harassment suits is costing your company a lot of money, don't lobby government to abolish the right not to be bullied, harassed or unfairly dismissed. Just stop bullying, harassing and unfairly dismissing people. You might find that your organisation improves. That's not all either: it includes further restrictions on maternity and paternity leave too.
No. The real reason why this is such a typically terrible idea is that it reveals a deeply unpleasant conception of humanity at the heart of Conservative discourse. To George Osborne, all interactions between human beings are transactional. Somebody - and often both - gets something out of each exchange. Under his proposals, the right not to be harassed, bullied or unfairly dismissed has a cash equivalent. Clearly the right to look forward to a working life in which you're not humiliated or fired is worth somewhere between £2000 and £50,000. I suspect that a cleaner's mental health is worth £2000 and a lawyer's £50,000 (actually, given that high-earners will have lawyers and out-of-court settlements just like now, this scheme is aimed at drones like you and me).
Accepting the deal is like the kid in the playground making a little extra pocket money by allowing other kids to kick him in the balls. In fact, it reminds me of private schools until recently: you paid them to have the right to physically beat you. Osborne's offered a small cash prize to the greedy or simple to give employers the cast-iron right to duff you up for the rest of your working life.
Still, it gives us some guidelines. If you apply for a job with this kind of contract, you know that the company expects you to be bullied, harassed and discriminated against. If you accept the money, you'll get what you deserve. If you're considering a relationship with someone who sells their dignity for £2000 or £50,000, you know they have no self-respect and that they are probably functioning sociopaths with no higher concept of humanity than material exchange.
Who will accept these contracts? The kind of people who want to appear on The Apprentice. It's my job, as your friend, to say: 'don't be that guy'.
the chancellor unveiled a £100m "employee-owner" scheme that will allow shares worth £2,000 to £50,000 to be exempt from tax if employees give up certain work rights, such as the right to claim unfair dismissal.Obviously there's a minor and immediate objection: the economy is not screwed because too many people exercise their rights not to be treated like shit by their employer. Far from it: you can be unfairly dismissed for 2 years before your rights even kick in.
There's another obvious rejoinder to this argument too: if settling unfair dismissal, bullying and harassment suits is costing your company a lot of money, don't lobby government to abolish the right not to be bullied, harassed or unfairly dismissed. Just stop bullying, harassing and unfairly dismissing people. You might find that your organisation improves. That's not all either: it includes further restrictions on maternity and paternity leave too.
No. The real reason why this is such a typically terrible idea is that it reveals a deeply unpleasant conception of humanity at the heart of Conservative discourse. To George Osborne, all interactions between human beings are transactional. Somebody - and often both - gets something out of each exchange. Under his proposals, the right not to be harassed, bullied or unfairly dismissed has a cash equivalent. Clearly the right to look forward to a working life in which you're not humiliated or fired is worth somewhere between £2000 and £50,000. I suspect that a cleaner's mental health is worth £2000 and a lawyer's £50,000 (actually, given that high-earners will have lawyers and out-of-court settlements just like now, this scheme is aimed at drones like you and me).
Accepting the deal is like the kid in the playground making a little extra pocket money by allowing other kids to kick him in the balls. In fact, it reminds me of private schools until recently: you paid them to have the right to physically beat you. Osborne's offered a small cash prize to the greedy or simple to give employers the cast-iron right to duff you up for the rest of your working life.
Still, it gives us some guidelines. If you apply for a job with this kind of contract, you know that the company expects you to be bullied, harassed and discriminated against. If you accept the money, you'll get what you deserve. If you're considering a relationship with someone who sells their dignity for £2000 or £50,000, you know they have no self-respect and that they are probably functioning sociopaths with no higher concept of humanity than material exchange.
Who will accept these contracts? The kind of people who want to appear on The Apprentice. It's my job, as your friend, to say: 'don't be that guy'.
The Great Escape
With a single bound, Grant Shapps is (relatively) free:
But as it is, a nasty smell hangs around Mr Shapps. The ASA has folded very weakly - I suspect under pressure from Mr Shapps - but he's fixed in the public consciousness as a spin, rather than as a statesman - today's Guardian cartoon portrays him at the Tory Conference naked but for three delegates' passes. He fobbed off Michael Crick of Channel 4 News this weekend with the claim that an ASA investigation was under way - he'd have known by that point that it wasn't. Folding so early looks very, very like a guilty conscience: rather than asserting that Fox, Green and these testimonials were genuine, the company agreed never to use them again. Now we just need a customer to take him to court for fraud…
How do I feel about this? Disappointed, of course: the Establishment has found a loophole through which he's escaped. But I'm also pleased: despite the sneering about bloggers, this has been an instructive exercise in active citizenship. What next? Back to Paul Uppal, the egregious and invisible local MP.
Update: I asked to see HowToCorp's response to the ASA:
Further to my letter of 27 September, we have received a response from HowToCorp. They have explained that the advertising is no longer appearing and have provided assurances related to any future advertising that we consider address your concerns. We consider that this will resolve the complaint without referring the matter to the ASA Council, and will consequently be closing our file.Obviously this looks like a victory for Grant Shapps: he's avoided an investigation and the embarrassing revelation that HowToCorp's personnel and satisfied customers were fictional - proof that he and his wife (who succeeded him as the company's owner) actually lied would have finished him off. Now he keeps his job and the company carries on, though it's non-existent on Google and presumably will struggle to attract business.
In a formal investigation, if the ASA Council decides that an ad is in breach of the Code, the advertiser is told to withdraw or amend it. Because HowToCorp have already assured us that the advertising you complained about has been withdrawn and will be amended if it is used in future, we consider there is little to be gained from continuing with a formal investigation, which would achieve that same outcome.
Although we will not publish full details of your complaint on our website, www.asa.org.uk, basic information including the advertiser’s name and where the ad appeared will appear on Wednesday 17 October.
Thank you for taking the time and trouble to raise the matter with us. If you would like more information about what we do and the ads we have found in breach of the Code, please have a look on our website.
But as it is, a nasty smell hangs around Mr Shapps. The ASA has folded very weakly - I suspect under pressure from Mr Shapps - but he's fixed in the public consciousness as a spin, rather than as a statesman - today's Guardian cartoon portrays him at the Tory Conference naked but for three delegates' passes. He fobbed off Michael Crick of Channel 4 News this weekend with the claim that an ASA investigation was under way - he'd have known by that point that it wasn't. Folding so early looks very, very like a guilty conscience: rather than asserting that Fox, Green and these testimonials were genuine, the company agreed never to use them again. Now we just need a customer to take him to court for fraud…
How do I feel about this? Disappointed, of course: the Establishment has found a loophole through which he's escaped. But I'm also pleased: despite the sneering about bloggers, this has been an instructive exercise in active citizenship. What next? Back to Paul Uppal, the egregious and invisible local MP.
Update: I asked to see HowToCorp's response to the ASA:
I’m afraid we are, however, unable to pass copies of correspondence between an advertiser and the ASA to complainants.Which seems a bit odd: HowToCorp saw my correspondence to the ASA. Does it have a duty of confidentiality to offending companies? Why?
It's not just Shapps!
Thanks to a combination of electronic media and time on my hands, I've become a serial letter-writer and complainer. It's a terrible stereotype, and I'm always watchful in case I start reaching for the green ink. On the other hand - it's what active citizens should do, holding authority to account.
A few weeks ago, Newsnight featured Peter Lilley MP. He was presented as an expert who'd written 'a report' on climate science. The report itself wasn't scrutinised at all, and nor were his credentials. Instead, he launched into a bizarre diatribe, a torrent of abuse which basically said all climate change science was lies (at the start and from 5.50):
Fair enough - some people believe this stuff. But what really annoyed me was Newsnight's failure to mention that Mr Lilley is the director of Teuthys Petroleum: an oil exploration company, and might be thought to have a vested interest in promoting fossil fuels and damning climate change science. So I fired off an email to Newsnight asking whether they knew this, whether they should routinely check for conflicts of interest, and if they did know, why they didn't mention it. No reply. So I went through the BBC Complaints procedure, which turns out to be run by Capita.
A few weeks later, I get a reply:
A few weeks ago, Newsnight featured Peter Lilley MP. He was presented as an expert who'd written 'a report' on climate science. The report itself wasn't scrutinised at all, and nor were his credentials. Instead, he launched into a bizarre diatribe, a torrent of abuse which basically said all climate change science was lies (at the start and from 5.50):
Fair enough - some people believe this stuff. But what really annoyed me was Newsnight's failure to mention that Mr Lilley is the director of Teuthys Petroleum: an oil exploration company, and might be thought to have a vested interest in promoting fossil fuels and damning climate change science. So I fired off an email to Newsnight asking whether they knew this, whether they should routinely check for conflicts of interest, and if they did know, why they didn't mention it. No reply. So I went through the BBC Complaints procedure, which turns out to be run by Capita.
A few weeks later, I get a reply:
In order for us to look into your concerns, we would need a transmission date. If possible, please write back using the complaints webform.
Thanks again for contacting us.
Kind Regards
Gemma McAleer
BBC Complaints
www.bbc.co.uk/complaintsNB This is sent from an outgoing account only which is not monitored. You cannot reply to this email address but if necessary please contact us via our webform quoting any case number we provided.
Which is bollocks. The complaints website consists of a series of drop-down boxes to be filled in. If you don't fill it in, you can't move to the next page and the next question. So they do have the date. Furthermore, I cannot believe that the combined forces of Capita and the BBC lack the resources to find out when a particular guest was on a particular edition. I'd assume they have a list. Failing that, how about checking Newsnight's website, or good old Google? But no: they mail me. And not, I notice, via an e-mail to which I can reply: that would be too simple. Instead, I have to go through the whole complaint again - 20+ questions (including the original one asking for the broadcast date) simply to provide them with information they a) already have and b) can easily find.
It feels, frankly, like a delaying tactic. Not just for me, but a way of fending off most people's complaints by making it as difficult as possible.
The Thick of It… come to life
I may have mentioned in passing that my complaint about HowToCorp's shady business practices (pseudonymic business gurus, testimonials from - ahem - elusive customers of rather unethical products) has hit the national press, due to Conservative MP and party chairman Grant Shapps' involvement.
Imagine my delight when the indefatigable Michael Crick of Channel 4 News pursued Mr Shapps through a rabbit warren of corridors, all the while asking Shapps about his happy customers. The answer is, I suspect, that none of them are real: I spent a happy few hours trying to track them down, and came up with precisely NO actual people.
I love this clip: it's straight out of The Thick Of It, particularly Shapps' increasingly demented hope that the next door will be the one that gets him away from Mr Crick. At one point, we glimpse the backstage fruit machine room - no doubt where Mr Osborne tries to reduce the deficit.
I'm profoundly depressed by the calibre of politicians we have now. In a functioning democracy we'd be able to respect even those whose policies repulse us. No longer: cynicism, individualism and careerism have combined to ensure that only the selfish, spineless, unthinking and vicious rise to the top, with a few exceptions. Idealism, altruism and public service are alien concepts to such a large contingent of our politicians.
I find myself thinking that even I could do it better, which is a terrible thought. We're really in trouble.
Imagine my delight when the indefatigable Michael Crick of Channel 4 News pursued Mr Shapps through a rabbit warren of corridors, all the while asking Shapps about his happy customers. The answer is, I suspect, that none of them are real: I spent a happy few hours trying to track them down, and came up with precisely NO actual people.
I love this clip: it's straight out of The Thick Of It, particularly Shapps' increasingly demented hope that the next door will be the one that gets him away from Mr Crick. At one point, we glimpse the backstage fruit machine room - no doubt where Mr Osborne tries to reduce the deficit.
I'm profoundly depressed by the calibre of politicians we have now. In a functioning democracy we'd be able to respect even those whose policies repulse us. No longer: cynicism, individualism and careerism have combined to ensure that only the selfish, spineless, unthinking and vicious rise to the top, with a few exceptions. Idealism, altruism and public service are alien concepts to such a large contingent of our politicians.
I find myself thinking that even I could do it better, which is a terrible thought. We're really in trouble.
Friday, 5 October 2012
Shappocalypse
I was out of the office for a whole 11 hours overnight, but what an 11 hours they've been.
If you buy The Independent (no, seriously), you'll have noticed that their front page ('Exclusive: Tory Chairman Rocked by 'get rich quick probe'' despite the Guardian diary printing the story a few days ago) 'reveals' that Grant Shapps is under investigation by the Advertising Standards Authority for his pseudonymic business activities, after a complaint by a blogger. There's also an editorial calling on Shapps to go. The story is also reported in the news section of the Guardian, the New Statesman, by Sky News and of course the Welwyn and Hatfield Times.
That blogger is me. I'd like to make some simple points.
Here's my original post about the curious triple lives of Grant Shapps ('he's three of the sharpest business brains in the Conservative Party') and the frankly seedy and cynical material published by HowToCorp. Click here for my follow-up piece about the ASA agreeing to undertake an investigation. The full story of Shapps' chequered any multi-monickered life is summarised here.
'Friends of Grant Shapps' (which always means Grant Shapps) have made two points to the news organisations. The first is that 'any blogger' can make mischief by firing off a complaint. Very true. The joy of blogging and new media is that an amateur can devote time and resources to stories which a news organisation may not have the patience for. That doesn't make any complaint any less valid. A blogger is firstly a citizen: the tools employed are beside the point - and for a man whose business involved stealing other web-writers material, it's a bloody cheeky point.
The second accusation is that my complaint is 'politically motivated'. This is a bit strange coming from a politician. The Chair of the Conservative Party, no less. And from a man who deleted details of his funding from Wikipedia and posed as a Liberal Democrat to disrupt their party business, it's very rum indeed. One would have thought that any sign of political engagement would be welcomed in a cynical age…
I'm not sure why Grant Shapps thinks my complaint is 'politically motivated'. Indeed, I don't know why he has any comment to make at all. My complaint to the ASA did not mention Mr Shapps. It drew the organisation's attention to a company whose supposed leaders may not have existed, and questioned the veracity of the company's testimonials from satisfied customers. This last, I suspect, is where the real dirt is, by the way. Mr Shapps tells us he has no connection with HowToCorp any more - it's his wife's company now. Furthermore, he's not asked me what my motivation is. I think I'd complain about any organisation which behaves like this, whether connected to a Tory or a Labour representative.
However, I will make one political point. Go back to my original post. Read the 'How To Get Out of a Recession' and compare it to the government's programme. While Shapps ran the company, he made a fortune from plagiarising web material and from publishing frankly ridiculous get-rich-quick guides. We are in the middle of one of the deepest recessions in modern history. To have a prominent Member of Parliament recommending and practicing sharp practice, voodoo economics and flaky schemes is a disgrace. The country requires fundamental, structural economic change. From my perspective, it needs leftwing policies: from the government's, hardline monetarist and free market solutions seem attractive. Neither side recommends the kind of quick-buck hucksterism Mr Shapps and now his wife promote. His ability to maintain a double economic life does him no credit.
Mr Shapps has now spoken to the Welwyn and Hatfield Times.
I declined that request. No mention was made to me by the ASA of closing the investigation if I publicised the investigation - the right has not been reserved. If Mr Shapps is trying to close down an investigation on these grounds, it shows a distinct lack of enthusiasm for examining the substance of the matter. Considering Mr Shapps posed as a Lib Dem to infiltrate one of their online forums, you'd think he'd approve of low-down dirty tactics… Although frankly I'm bemused as to why he's getting involved at all - I complained about a company he neither owns nor controls. What's his interest?
PS. Paul Uppal: I've not forgotten about you, by the way.
If you buy The Independent (no, seriously), you'll have noticed that their front page ('Exclusive: Tory Chairman Rocked by 'get rich quick probe'' despite the Guardian diary printing the story a few days ago) 'reveals' that Grant Shapps is under investigation by the Advertising Standards Authority for his pseudonymic business activities, after a complaint by a blogger. There's also an editorial calling on Shapps to go. The story is also reported in the news section of the Guardian, the New Statesman, by Sky News and of course the Welwyn and Hatfield Times.
That blogger is me. I'd like to make some simple points.
Here's my original post about the curious triple lives of Grant Shapps ('he's three of the sharpest business brains in the Conservative Party') and the frankly seedy and cynical material published by HowToCorp. Click here for my follow-up piece about the ASA agreeing to undertake an investigation. The full story of Shapps' chequered any multi-monickered life is summarised here.
'Friends of Grant Shapps' (which always means Grant Shapps) have made two points to the news organisations. The first is that 'any blogger' can make mischief by firing off a complaint. Very true. The joy of blogging and new media is that an amateur can devote time and resources to stories which a news organisation may not have the patience for. That doesn't make any complaint any less valid. A blogger is firstly a citizen: the tools employed are beside the point - and for a man whose business involved stealing other web-writers material, it's a bloody cheeky point.
The second accusation is that my complaint is 'politically motivated'. This is a bit strange coming from a politician. The Chair of the Conservative Party, no less. And from a man who deleted details of his funding from Wikipedia and posed as a Liberal Democrat to disrupt their party business, it's very rum indeed. One would have thought that any sign of political engagement would be welcomed in a cynical age…
I'm not sure why Grant Shapps thinks my complaint is 'politically motivated'. Indeed, I don't know why he has any comment to make at all. My complaint to the ASA did not mention Mr Shapps. It drew the organisation's attention to a company whose supposed leaders may not have existed, and questioned the veracity of the company's testimonials from satisfied customers. This last, I suspect, is where the real dirt is, by the way. Mr Shapps tells us he has no connection with HowToCorp any more - it's his wife's company now. Furthermore, he's not asked me what my motivation is. I think I'd complain about any organisation which behaves like this, whether connected to a Tory or a Labour representative.
However, I will make one political point. Go back to my original post. Read the 'How To Get Out of a Recession' and compare it to the government's programme. While Shapps ran the company, he made a fortune from plagiarising web material and from publishing frankly ridiculous get-rich-quick guides. We are in the middle of one of the deepest recessions in modern history. To have a prominent Member of Parliament recommending and practicing sharp practice, voodoo economics and flaky schemes is a disgrace. The country requires fundamental, structural economic change. From my perspective, it needs leftwing policies: from the government's, hardline monetarist and free market solutions seem attractive. Neither side recommends the kind of quick-buck hucksterism Mr Shapps and now his wife promote. His ability to maintain a double economic life does him no credit.
Mr Shapps has now spoken to the Welwyn and Hatfield Times.
But Mr Vole has since published the letter on his personal blog The Plashing Vole – even though the ASA explicitly asked the correspondence be kept private.
The point was made by Mr Shapps himself, who said he thought the ASA would take a “dim view” of the leaked letter.
Now the ASA has said it could close the investigation if it chooses to.
An ASA spokesman told the WHT: “We are aware that the complainant has published our correspondence despite requests to keep it confidential.
“The ASA reserves the right to close the investigation if the complainant does not respect our request.”
I declined that request. No mention was made to me by the ASA of closing the investigation if I publicised the investigation - the right has not been reserved. If Mr Shapps is trying to close down an investigation on these grounds, it shows a distinct lack of enthusiasm for examining the substance of the matter. Considering Mr Shapps posed as a Lib Dem to infiltrate one of their online forums, you'd think he'd approve of low-down dirty tactics… Although frankly I'm bemused as to why he's getting involved at all - I complained about a company he neither owns nor controls. What's his interest?
PS. Paul Uppal: I've not forgotten about you, by the way.
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