Here's an idea…

Lots of senior politicians, celebrities and so on have written articles for the Murdoch press and the other squalid rags infesting Britain. Usually, they're written by the paper's journalists (you knew this, didn't you?) or sometimes by the 'author's' advisors/PR handler/dog.

Like this one, 'by' David Cameron and Boris Johnson, but betraying not a scintilla of their vocabularies and style, and an awful lot of the Sun's trademark lies and stupidity.

So: now that the Murdoch press has been revealed to be a criminal enterprise (with other publications to follow), how about we ask them to donate their fees to a suitable charity? Perhaps Milly Dowler's parents could suggest one.

It just takes enough people to search for the articles, then for everyone to write to/email/Tweet/phone the 'authors' until they're ashamed of taking money from criminals. Although there is one fly in the ointment: 'shame' is quite an alien concept for many of these chaps and chapesses.

Time to Gove

Who else in government is in hock to News International? How about everybody's favourite ex-Newsnight Education Moron Minister Michael Gove?

Will Michael Gove also be drawn into the sleaze? In 2009, the Conservatives published a list of shadow cabinet ministers' outside interests. News International were very generous to him, paying £5,000 a month for his services as journalist for one hour a week. That’s £1,250 a week. Contrast this with the £250 he received from Scotland on Sunday.

Meanwhile, one of the most evil papers on the planet (the Daily Mail, in case you didn't realise), claims that Rebekah Brooks vetoed Cameron's plan to have an ex-BBC press spokesman, and suggested Coulson instead - to 'strengthen links' between News International and the Tory administration.

If that's true - and as it's in the Mail, that's an 'if' the size of Greenland - then the Prime Minister will have to resign. If it isn't true, he'll have to sue, given the monstrosity of such a claim.

All the news that's fit to print

I'm really enjoying News International's attempt to buy off a few of the people whose phones they illegally hacked in pursuit of stories about vaguely well-known people sleeping with other vaguely familiar individuals and other matters of national import.

I particularly liked this bit of NI's statement.

 It is now apparent that our previous inquiries failed to uncover important evidence and we acknowledge our actions then were not sufficiently robust.

Hm. I wonder just how good their investigative journalists really are. Perhaps they should have put the 'Fake Sheik' in charge of the inquiry.

(You won't be reading about this story in News International papers: they've decided that it's a non-story, despite the parent company paying out millions already, with millions more coming, and a senior executive telling Parliament that they paid police officers for information, which is a serious criminal offence).

Salford United v. Manchester City

Somehow, this blog seems to have been taken over by a nest of Reds. So I thought I should introduce you to my old friend Neil.

Like you Manchester United fans, he doesn't live anywhere near Manchester.

As one of Murdoch's News International team, he too has a 'privileged' relationship with the regulatory authorities, and lives to wipe out the opposition.

Unlike you, he's a Manchester City fan. Let's hope Everyday Isn't Like Sunday for you, Neil!

(Sorry. Bit of Mancunian music-based humour there. But you did ask for more jokes, and everybody ignored my comment about Hazel Blears and the large TV).