I shall take this opportunity to say a few words

This was my acceptance speech on being made a 0.5 lecturer in Media Studies:

"Fellow-citizens, being fully invested with that high office to which the partiality of my countrymen has called me, I now take an affectionate leave of you. You will bear with you to your homes the remembrance of the pledge I have this day given to discharge all the high duties of my exalted station according to the best of my ability, and I shall enter upon their performance with entire confidence in the support of a just and generous people." 

Actually, it wasn't. These are the closing lines of William Harrison's Presidential Inauguration Speech in 1841. He spoke for two hours in a snowstorm, without a coat on, and died a month later. Yahoo News has a feature on the worst inaugural speeches. Can anyone remember Bush's? Not me. Something about God, Texas, compassionate conservatism no doubt. It was probably better than Blair's 'A new age has dawned, has it not?' Or was it 'A new day has dawned'? Whenever people say he was a great orator or connector I want to hurl - I doubt he has the histrionic skills to say 'good morning' sincerely. How he asks with a straight face for his massive cheques after the speeches he gives the University of Dead Dog Arizona or wherever, I just don't know.