I shall take this opportunity to say a few words

This was my acceptance speech on being made a 0.5 lecturer in Media Studies:

"Fellow-citizens, being fully invested with that high office to which the partiality of my countrymen has called me, I now take an affectionate leave of you. You will bear with you to your homes the remembrance of the pledge I have this day given to discharge all the high duties of my exalted station according to the best of my ability, and I shall enter upon their performance with entire confidence in the support of a just and generous people." 

Actually, it wasn't. These are the closing lines of William Harrison's Presidential Inauguration Speech in 1841. He spoke for two hours in a snowstorm, without a coat on, and died a month later. Yahoo News has a feature on the worst inaugural speeches. Can anyone remember Bush's? Not me. Something about God, Texas, compassionate conservatism no doubt. It was probably better than Blair's 'A new age has dawned, has it not?' Or was it 'A new day has dawned'? Whenever people say he was a great orator or connector I want to hurl - I doubt he has the histrionic skills to say 'good morning' sincerely. How he asks with a straight face for his massive cheques after the speeches he gives the University of Dead Dog Arizona or wherever, I just don't know.

Queen Caroline

Katha Pollitt, the brilliant Nation author, has written a stunningly sarcastic piece on the putative Senatorial career of Caroline Kennedy. If all you know about Kennedy is that the surname rings a bell in American political terms, that pretty much sums up her application form. Nobody knows what her politics actually are ('Democrat' ranges from rightwing Labour to rightwing Tory), and she has no public visibility. Just because Bush is going (8 days and counting) doesn't mean that our cousins have dumped the hereditary principle. Perhaps it was just George III personally they objected to…

Bush redux

Over at The Huffington Post, those good liberals are enjoying the implosion of the Republican Party. The front-runners for the 2012 nomination are Palin, Jindal and Jeb Bush. The mark of the true mess those bastards are in is encapsulated by this:

How screwed are the Republicans right now? Put it this way: the sanest contender in the above list is named "Bush".