apostrophe offenders, people who oppose the licence fee but pay loads more to get 800 bum-achingly awful channels on Sky, Tories, Green Lantern doubters, climate-change deniers, mobile-phone bullies, 'Blue Badge Abusers' (as Half Man Half Biscuit have it), plagiarists, litterers, Jools Holland (I think it's posh-cool for Julian), people who think that they have the right to bore you at parties because they've taken some drugs, pheasant-kickers, 4x4 drivers, those who say 'bless', fashion magazines, DIY and house-sale programmes, fake doctor Gillian McKeith, Edward Stourton, soi-disant arts types who proudly profess their ignorance of science, the RCP and the Manifesto Club, repeaters of TV catchphrases, management, the cyclist who told me to fuck myself for walking on the pavement in front of him (he then knocked over a toddler), the Any Questions contributors, anybody concerned with the production, narration and consumption of police-propaganda 'reality' TV, local news scriptwriters, the Daily Mail, MELVYN BRAGG… and intolerant people.
Feel free to add your own offenders to the list. I know I will.
3 comments:
I see that I qualify for this list on at least two counts - is this a ploy to get me to post a comment? Or are you actually going to visit my house when you finally crack and go on a killing spree?
As a fellow user of quotes from Father Ted and the Simpsons, you also qualify for the list, so now you'll have to do yourself in as well...
Hurrah: got you! The 'pheasant kicker' was indeed meant for you! I include myself under several of these headings - especially 'intolerant people'. I'm honoured that you've graced my 'umble blog with your presence!
PV
Just wondering, does quoting the entire parrot sketch on my blog count as a tv catchphrase? Or is it worse. Much much worse.
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