Newspaper readers from history

I've previously quoted George Orwell on the News of the World (from 'The Decline of the English Murder') and Yes, Prime Minister on the mentality of various papers' readers. Here's a paragraph by Claud Cockburn on Thomas Barnes, a mid-nineteenth-century Times editor's view of the readership:

Newspaper writing, he said, is a thing sui generis; it is in literature what brandy is in beverages. John Bull, whose understanding is rather sluggish - I speak of the majority of readers - requires a strong stimulus. He consumes his beef and cannot digest it without a dram; he dozes composedly over his prejudices which his conceit calls opinions; and you must fire ten-pounders at his densely compact intellect before you can make it comprehend your meaning or care one farthing for your efforts.

Norman Rose, The Cliveden Set (London: Jonathan Cape, 2000), p. 162. 

1858 and all's well

I came across the August 3rd 1858 copy of The Times I have in the office - it was used to wrap a second-hand book I bought. A few adverts caught my eye:

SWAINE and ADENY, whip manufacturers to Her Majesty and H. R. H. the Prince Consort, and Royal Family, inform the public that they have no other establishment that at 185, Piccadilly, opposite Burlington House, W. A handsome assortment of all kinds of whips including prize whips and whips for presents, parasol and fan whips, patent seamless handle whips, chowries for the East Indies, Rhinoceros horn whips, and other novelties always on hand ; also stock whips for Australia and New Zealand. N. B. Merchants and shippers liberally dealt with. References required. 

So there you have it: whips for royal fun, slaves and animals. Swaine and Adeny are still around, though they've moved to St. James. I've a wallet by them (a present I can't afford to replace with the same) and I'd love their most famous product: the Indiana Jones hat.

Copy-writing bullshit hasn't changed much: try this cattle-feed ad.

THORLEY's FOOD for CATTLE.– It is only a short time since this singularly efficacious article of animal diet first made its appearance ; and already its celebrity is world-wide. It has been a subject of wonder and has puzzled many a brain to explain how this has been brought about. Yet when we are acquainted with a few facts concerning the food our wonder will cease. A few days since a gentleman wrote, stating that he had a horse which was a "perfect bag of bones". He tried all kinds of things to get the animal into condition, but in vain : he then bought some of Thorley's food, and he says the effect was wonderful : the horse rapidly grew fat, and in the course of a few weeks had gained no less than 12 stone. Again, we find at the late Agricultural Shows at Birmingham, Cardiff, &c., the animals which carreid off the highest prizes had been partly fed with Thorley's food for cattle. Such facts speak for themselves, and we are forced to the conclusion that its celebrity arises solely from its own intrinsic merits and the great demand for it can proceed alone for the good opinion and testimony of those who have tried it. All parties interested in horses and cattle will do well to apply at 77, Newgate-street, London for a pamphlet, which is sent post free. 

I particularly like the 'we are forced to the conclusion'.

Still going in 1910

But I don't want to feed cattle, I want a new job. What's the market like?

WANTED, a YOUNG MAN, or Youth, who can write well–if acquainted with the cheesemongery and poultry business would be preferred. Apply at 9, Jonson–place, Harrow–road, Paddington. 

Mmmm, cheese. And there's a pub at No. 13, The Ben Jonson. On the other hand, the cheesemonger at No. 15 went bankrupt only a few years later: did he expand too fast?

Perhaps I'll enter domestic service.

WANTED, in a small family, a GENERAL SERVANT : one from the country preferred. A good character indispensable. Apply personally, at 29, Clifton-road east, St. John's–wood. Irish objected to.

Oh dear. That's me out. Oh well. 29 Clifton Road is now a nasty Tesco outlet, so serve him right.

SCHOLASTIC.–WANTED, in a boarding school, an ASSISTANT MASTER, to teach middle classics and junior English. A comfortable home and the duties light. Salary £30 per annum. Address X. Y., post office, Ross. Herefordshire.

Ideal. I could be the next Wackford Squeers. Or I could become a speculator:

TO CAPITALISTS.–Any person, having at his immediate disposal the sum of £10,000 to £20,000, may more than double that sum during the present year (1858), and that without the slightest risk or relinquishing for one moment the control of his capital. No agent need apply. Address J. G., 32, Sloane-street, S. W.

And if you believe that, I've got some Lehman Brothers shares to sell you. Your £20,000 is the equivalent of £1.54 millions in purchasing power now, or £13.6 millions calculating by average earnings.

Carriage crazy

I'm still captivated by the ads in this 1858 edition of The Times. In many ways, we haven't changed much - just as there's a cool car culture now (hopefully dying), there was a cool carriage culture, with varieties such as the Clarence, Phaeton, Sociable, Landau, Brougham and Barouche. Some of the existing lines (one lady owner) are clearly older than I thought:

CLARENCE to be DISPOSED OF, the property of a lady, who from ill-health is incapable of using it again. It will consequently be sold a bargain. May be seen at 71, Great Queen-street, Lincoln's-inn fields.

SOCIABLE, 75 Guineas ; Brougham, 75 Guineas. To prevent trouble and loss of time, particulars are given. Sociable–head removes. Brougham–circular front. Cost £140 each. Elegant and scarcely soiled. A lady breaking up her establishment. 29, Davies-street, Berkeley-square.

UNDER the PATRONAGE of Her Most Gracious MAJESTY, and the Kings of SARDINIA and PORTUGAL.– Messrs. Lenny and Co., coachbuilders and harnessmakers, 20, 21, 22, and 23, North-end, Croydon, beg to call attention to their NEW REGISTERED HOLFORD, forming a complete close carriage, with wicker or plain panels, and weighing only 5 1/2cwt., suitable for a 14 hands horse. They are building for full-sized horses, single and double seated, lighter by hundreds of pounds than any other close carriage built. N.B. Carriages of all kinds built to order, or on hire, with liberty to purchase, and for exportation ; also their cheap, light, and elegant Croydon basket carriages, in every shape and size.

Let's not forget the children:

STUDY your CHILDREN'S HEALTH, and buy one of HILL'S PATENT SAFETY PERAMBULATORS, at the wholesale price. Invalid carriages in variety. Illustrated price list for one stamp.–Hill's manufactory, 212, Piccadilly: established as coachmakers 30 years.

Then you need to take your carriage out for a slap-up feed amidst the Great Stink, or perhaps on holiday:

THE BEST DINNERS in London are at the ROYAL WINE SHADES, 5, Leicester-square, consisting of six soups, six sorts of fish, and eight joints, cheeses and celery, all for 1s. 6d. per head, from 2 o'clock until half-past 8.

STATE OF THE THAMES.–J. D. ROBERTS begs to announce that the bad state of the Thames has never been perceptible at the ARTICHOKE, but that the pure air for which Blackwall has always been celebrated is still equally delightful and refreshing–Artichoke Tavern, Blackwall, July, 1858.

The Artichoke was an ancient pub, soon demolished for the Blackwall Tunnel. Its air may not have been as pure as advertised: a guano processing plant was located nearby…

Shopping, 1858 style!

A gentleman can be kitted out most handsomely through the good offices of The Times:

HORSE and DOG CART for SALE–a fast trotting little horse and good light dog cart, harness and stable gear. Price £80. The property of S. J. Auld, Esq., the Grove, Hanwell. Particulars to be had at Rymer's stables, Cambridge-Street, Edgeware-road.

Oddly enough, my wallet is from this next company (a present from my father), and they also make this, which I really, really want:

SWAINE and ADENY, whip manufacturers to Her Majesty and H. R. H. the Prince Consort, and Royal Family, inform the public that they have no other establishment than at 185, Piccadilly, opposite Burlington House, W. A handsome assortment of all kinds of whips, including prize whips and whips for presents parasol and fan whips, patent seamless handle whips, chowries for the East Indies, Rhinoceros horn whips and other novelties always on hand ; also stock whips for Australia and New Zealand. N.B. merchants and shippers liberally dealt with.

(A chowry was a fly whisk, often made with the bushy end of a yak's tail).

If you think a dog cart (not, I hasten to add, a cart pulled by dogs, unfortunately), then hearken to this politely hectoring address - car salesmen haven't changed much:

WHY DO YOU DRIVE A RATTLETRAP?–See opinions of scientific gentlemen and others on M. DAVIS'S PATENT CAOUTCHOUC CARRIAGE WHEELS:–"Like walking a velvet-carpet without shoes" "They impart a delightful exhilirating, exciting and thrilling buoyancy to the spirits." "It is surprising that from time immemorial carriagemakers, although they perceive wheels fail at the weak points, pursue no steps to a remedy. By the simple contrivance you have patented, you have completely mastered this defect ; but it is infinitely more surprising that our carriagebuilders should raise their superstructure on a crumbling corner stone." "Applied to omnibuses and cabs, it would convert them into real saloons, and not a name without the qualification the name implies." "Your Patent Caoutchouc Wheels is an undertaking deserving public support. It would save the country above a million per annum in road-making, and the streets of London would be the finest and leanest in the world." "I know from actual experiment that there is not perceptible wear in caoutchouc or a proper preparation of Indiarubber." "I consider iron-tired wheels dangerous to drive compared with your patent caoutchouc. The difference consists in a continuous and an intermittent noise. You cannot judge the distance of the rolling, deafening, massive bars of iron, but the intermittent intonation from the horses feet strike the ear in time to avoid danger." "The hind seat of a dog-cart is something fearful to many persons–with patent caoutchouc wheels it is as comfortable as 'my old arm chair'."–Caoutchouc Wheel Works, 5, Lyon's-inn, Strand : M. Davis, patentee and manager.

Caoutchouc is rubber. Tomorrow: servants and household furnishings.

More old news

From the Times, August 7th 1858

BIRMINGHAM TRIENNIAL MUSICAL FESTIVAL, August 31, Sept. 1, 2, and 3, 1858–Detailed PROGRAMMES are now ready, and may be had on application to the Secretary, Mr. Henry Howell, 34, Bennett's-hill, Birmingham.

BURFORD'S LUCKNOW and DELHI PANORAMAS.–Now OPEN, these splendid VIEWS showing all the interesting features of the recent terrific conflicts. The Right Kulm and a portion of Switzerland at Sunrise are also open. Admission 1s. to each view. Daily from 10 till dusk.–Leicester-square.

We could, however, think about emigration - there are well over a hundred adverts for passage to Australia, India, the United States and further.

ELLEN STUART for MELBOURNE.–Black Ball Line of packets.–The magnificent Liverpool-built clipper ship ELLEN STUART, 1,388 tons register, 4,000 tons burtdn, Capt. ROBERT BROWN, will sail from Liverpool on Sept. 5. This splendid ship was built in Liverpool for the owners of the Black Ball Line, under their immediate supervision, and having been designed expressly for their Australian packet service, and no expense spared in her construction, she is allowed to be the most perfect passenger ship in port. She has a full poop, and the chief cabin is a beautiful apartment, with an after saloon for ladies. The state rooms are furnished with bedding, towels &c. The second cabin, intermediate, and steerage are thoroughly lighted and ventilated. Apply to James Baines and Co., Tower-buildings, Liverpool ; or to T. M. Mackay and Co., 2, Moorgate-street, London, E.C.

STEAM (under 60 days) to AUSTRALIA.–Passage £14 and upwards.–The Liverpool and Australian Navigation Company's celebrated auxiliary steam clippers, in conjunction with the Eagle Line of packets, are despatched on the 15th of each month to the consignment of Bright, Brothers and Co., Melbourne, forwarding passengers to all parts of Australia. RESOLUTE, WALLACE, 3,000 tons, 15th August. These clipper ships are guaranteed to sail to the day, and are famed for the superiority of the provisioning and passenger accommodation. Packet of 15th August, the new A 1 clipper ship Resolute, 1, 112 tons register, 3, 000 tons burden. The saloon accommodation is unsurpassed by any ship afloat ; she is fitted with baths, closets &c., and everything necessary for comfort during the voyage. The fore cabin and 'tween deck arrangements are most excellent. Apply to Gibbs, Bright, and Co., 1, North John-street, Liverpool ; or to Roberts and Irving, 9, Cornhill, London.

Though you may want to stay closer to home:

YARMOUTH and BACK, 8s.––The General Steam Navigation Company's STEAM-SHIPS leave London-bridge-wharf for YARMOUTH every Wednesday and Saturday, at 4 afternoon. Saloon, 8s., ; fore, 5s. ; return tickets 12s., or 8s.

More lessons from history

Rich people have always tried to get us to pay for their fun (sometimes justifiably). Even in 1858, there were appeals to save artwork from export:

Will the ENGLISH PUBLIC ALLOW this grand PICTURE to be LOST for ever from this COUNTRY? – Now EXHIBITING, CHARLES the FIRST's long-lost inimitable SLEEPING VENUS, the chef-d'oeuvre of Titian. A large number of connoisseurs from all parts of the globe pronounce it faultless. I am willing to exhibit the picture against any other Titian for beauty of feature and perfection of colour, drawing and design.–J. C. BARRATT, 369, Strand. Admission 1s.

This might be the Giorgione 'Sleeping Venus' with possible background work by Titian, now in the Gemäldegalerie, Dresden, or Titian's 'Venus of Urbino' in the Uffizi, Florence.

More historical extracts when I get back from Wales in a few days.

Yet more historical news

Despite the constant round of parties, tourism and fetes available to the Victorian middle and upper classes, life in the city was nasty, brutish and short, even for these delicate flowers, as Michel Faber's and Sarah Waters's books depict.

Yet the new science of detection was all the rage, and ex-coppers were available to hire, just like Hauk in the The Wire:

PRIVATE INQUIRY OFFICE, established 1852, Eldon-chambers, Devereux-court, Temple, under the direction of CHARLES FREDERICK FIELD, late chief inspector of the detective force of the metropolis. This office has had the conduct of some of the most remarkable cases of the day–namely the Smyth and Worcester forgeries, the Rugeley murders, horse poisonings, incendiary fires, &c. Agent for New York, Mr. G. Hays, Bank detective police.

Still, if you survive into comfortable middle age, you can indulge yourself:

SMALL YACHT, for £20, with sails complete, or with anchor, chain cable, dingy, sweeps, and all stores, £25. Apply to W. C., 51, King William-street, E. C.

MR. GLADSTONE.–A beautifully-executed PORTRAIT of the Right Hon. W. E. GLADSTONE, on toned paper, with a biography and a review of his recently published edition Homer, will be given with the CRITIC, weekly literary Journal of August 7. Price 4d., or 5d. stamped. A copy in return for 5 stamps. Office, 29, Essex-street, Strand.

PICTURES.–To collectors and Connoisseurs.–An original, by Berrittini ; one by Van Heemskerke–both on panel ; six others on canvas. The largest an Italian landscape, by Stuart, 3 ft. 10 in. The whole for immediate cash, £50 ; cost £400, On view, after 12 o'clock a.m., at 20 Queen-street, Camden-town.

That's enough for today. I'm off to celebrate Emma's birthday - say happy birthday everybody - then home to see the Aged Parents and all my happily married siblings for a couple of days, then it's the UK School Games for a week. I'll check in once a day probably, but will be spending most of my time making children happy and safe. And not in an Austrian fashion. I'm the Welfare Officer.

Roll up, Roll up! All the fun of the fair!

So what do they do for fun in 1858 Britain? They could go to the zoo:

THE ZOOLOGICAL GARDENS, Regent's-park, are open daily, except on Sunday. Admission 1s, on Monday, 6d. Among the recent additions to the menagerie are the Mooruk from New Britain, and a magnificent leopard from Morocco. The band of the Royal Horse Guards will perform, by permission of Colonel the Right Hon. C. Forester, every Saturday, at 4 p.m.

The Mooruk is a variety of cassowary. This drawing is from the very bird advertised above, and New Britain is part of Papua New Guinea.

Alternatively, you could see the technological marvel of the age, launched this very year and destined to be a greater tourist attraction than commercial success:

THE GREAT EASTERN, lying off Deptford.– This STEAM SHIP will be OPEN for inspection daily, between the hours of 10 a.m. and 5 p.m. Admission, 2s.6d., each, by tickets, which may be obtained on board the ship ; of Mr. W. R. Sams, 1 St. James's-street ; or at the offices of the Company, 13, Gresham-street.

JOHN YATES, Secretary.

N. B. The Greenwich steamers call alongside the ship to embark and disembark visitors at the usual fares.

Alternatively, you could attend a summer fete and hear all the latest hits sung by the hottest stars, some of which are still sung, and all for charity, which was important for the rich to keep the poor subservient:

ROYAL SURREY GARDENS.– Grandest Fete of the Season,–20,000 persons are going to hear Madame Rudersdorff sing Robert toi qui j'aime, She wore a Wreath of Roses, and the Mile of Edinboro Town ; Miss Louisa Vinning sing Bel raggio, Home, sweet Home, and I wish I were a Fairy Queen ; Miss Dolby sing the Hundred Pipers, and two popular songs ; and Mr. Sims Reeves sing Death of Nelson, Good bye, Sweetheart, and the Last Rose of Summer; the Misses Wells, S. Cole, and L. Baxter ; Messrs. Wilbye Cooper, Lawler &c., Complete orchestra, on Wednesday August 11th, in Aid of the Cheesemongers Benevolent Institution. Magnificent Parisien Fete, commencing at 5; grand Concert at half-past 7 o'clock. Grand double display of fireworks, and Signor Duvalli's terrific ascent, surrounded by fireworks. Tickets 1s. ; numbered stalls, first circle (retainable the whole evening), 3s. ; second circle 2s. each, including admission to the Gardens,–of Messrs. Keith, Prowse and Co., 48, Cheapside ; Mr. Philpott, post-office, King William-street ; Mr. Wilcocke, Newington-causeway ; Mr. Pigott, Kennington-park ; any member of the Committee ; and of the Secretary, Mr. George Simpson, Bath-street, Newgate-street.

Duvalli was a tightrope walker and Rudersdorff was a famous soprano, 'an amazing woman weighing between two and three hundred pounds' whose son Richard Mansfield was a Ripper murder suspect. Underneath the fun of the fair was a dark side - but I'll leave that for tomorrow.

More news from the nineteenth-century

Morning all. How about another instalment from the 1858 edition of the Times?

First up, a beautiful bit of name-dropping from the Crystal Palace Great Exhibition:

CRYSTAL PALACE–Ceramic Court.–Under the direction of Thomas Battam, Esq., F.S.A.– The EXHIBITION of ENAMELS, Porcelain, and Pottery, now contains examples from the collection of Her Majesty the Queen, the Duke of Devonshire, Earl Granville, Gen. the Hon E. Lygon, Baroness de Goldsmit, H. Danby Seymour, Esq., M. P., F. W. Fairholt, Esq., S. Addington, Esq., Dr. Sibson, F.R.S., J, Falcke, Esq., the Athenaeum, Stoke-upon-Trent, Messrs. Rittener and Saxby, Messrs. Hewitt, Madame Temple, &c., together with choice examples of the manufactures of Messrs. Minton, Copeland, Kerr and Burns. Ridgway and Co., Rose, Philips, &c., including the series of Ceramic works executed for the Art Union of London.

Health fads aren't restricted to our own times: the stupid and gullible rich have always been with us - no doubt Gillian McKeith and the Daily Mail would have given glowing endorsements for this detox treatment. The 'chronic diseases', I suspect, means syphilis.

DR. CAPLIN'S ELECTRO-CHYMICAL BATH ESTABLISHMENT, 9 York-place, Baker-street, Portman-square, for the extraction of mercury and other metallic or extraneous substances, and the treatment of chronic diseases. For the demonstration of this new system vide the second edition, price 1s., 8vo, of Dr. Caplin's Treatise on the Electro-Chymical Bath, and the Relation of Electricity to the Phenomena of Life, Health and Disease, Sold at the Authors Establishment.

Schoolboys have always lost their belongings:

MARGATE.–LOST, on board the Little Western, on Tuesday, July 27, a CARPET-BAG, containing

several articles of wearing apparel, belonging to a young gentleman on his way to school, and some

books with the name of "Herbert Radclyffe" in them. A REWARD will be given to any person returning

the bag to Mr. Dunn, packet-office, Margate.

That appalling vulture programme, Heir-hunters, has a long and dishonourable history too:

NEXT of KIN OFFICES, Doctors'-commons.–NEXT OF KIN WANTED, of many persons who died abroad,

for upwards of 80 years, leaving considerable property unclaimed, which may be recovered, and all

information obtained, through P. Mouillard and Co., Bell-yard, Doctors'-commons.

The world of commerce was bloody and unregulated - copyright was a relatively new idea and advertisers, then and now, were liars.

TO THE BOOKSELLING TRADE.–The COPYRIGHT of "NEVER TOO LATE TO MEND" reverted to Mr.

CHARLES READE on Monday last, Aug. 2, and is now his SOLE PROPERTY.–6, Bolton-row, Mayfair.

SEWING MACHINES.–Thomas v. Foxwell.– In consequence of the erroneous impression produced

by the advertisements which have been produced by Mr. Foxwell, Mr. THOMAS deems it necessary to

CAUTION the public that the verdict in the above action declared that Mr. Foxwell's machines

were an infringement upon his patent, and to state that there has been no decision that his patent is

void. The Court of Queen's Bench held the claim in Mr. Thomas's patent for the general arrangement

of his sewing machinery to be good, and the adverse decision referred to in Mr. Foxwell's advertisements

had reference to a subordinate claim only, which, with the permission of Her Majesty's Attorney-General,

has since been struck out of the specification. Proceedings will be taken against all parties continuing,

after this notice, to USE or SELL SEWING MACHINES made in violation of Mr. Thomas's patent, or

containing any material part of his invention.–Dated August 4.

WILSON and BRISTOWS, 1 Copthall-buildings,

Solicitors for Mr. Thomas.

Holidays and attraction tomorrow.

Another instalment from 'The Times', August 7th 1858

Some births and marriages today:

On the 17th June last, at Guanaxato, Mexico, the wife of William

A. Jones, Esq., of a daughter.

On the 23d July, at da Fundo, Lisbon, the wife of Thos. Creswell

Esq., of a daughter.

On the 3d inst., at 13, Loughborough-road, Brixton, the wife of

Joseph S. Rimington, Esq., Bombay Medical Establishment,

H. E. I. C. S., of a daughter.

Fascinating - the names, the locations (Brixton, posh?) and the occupations. Most interestingly, the mothers and children aren't named - they're just for showing off the man's virility, though it's possibly that children weren't named until later, due to the high incidence of child mortality.

Let's try some marriages. Still very pompous, aspirational, snobbish and male-oriented, but fascinating anyway:

On the 3d inst., at Tenby, by the father of the bride, William Hast-

ings Hughes, Esq., fourth son of the late John Hughes, M. A., of the

Priory, Donnington, Berks, and of Boltons, West Brompton, to Emily

Adelaide, eldest daughter of the Rev. George Clark, M. A., rector of

Tenby, Pembrokeshire.

On the 4th inst., at St. Lawrence Church, Thanet, Kent, by the Rev.

R. C. Brackenbury, A. M., rector of Brocklebury, Lincolnshire, chaplain

to the Earl of Yarmouth, assisted by Rev. F. G. Haslewood, S C. L.,

curate, Captain H. T. Howell, of the East Kent Militia, only son of

Captain Howell, R. N., of Spring-grove, Jersey, to Phoebe, second

daughter of the Rev. G. W. Sicklemore, of Cleve, vicar of St. Lawrence.

Now for some deaths, redolent of Empire:

On the 25th May, from the effects of sunstroke, Lieut. George Henry

Haynes, 7th Hussars, on his passage home from Calcutta, eldest son of

the late Mr. Haynes, of Lambeth, Surrey, having survived his father

only six months, most deeply lamented by his family and friends.

At Ootacamund, on the 11th June, Mary Eliza, the wife of Richard

Cotton Lewin, Esq., Madras Civil Service, aged 28.

On the 1st. inst., Anne Ingleby, relict of Columbus Ingleby, Esq., at

her residence, 306, Regent-street, suddenly, of disease of the heart, aged 71.

On the 4th inst., at Elstree, aged 6 years, Arthur Frank, youngest

child of the Rev. Henry Robbins, M. A.

On the 6th inst., of consumption, Samuel Sidney, youngest son of

Mr. Archd. E. Prangnall, Coldharbour-lane, Camberwell, aged 22.

ENTOMBMENT– Orders in Council having been

issued for the permanent closing of the vaults under certain

metropolitan churches, but prior to the 1st of September next, giving

the friends of the deceased buried therein the right of removing their

remains, the NECROPOLIS COMPANY beg to intimate that they are

prepared to undertake such removals in a careful and respectful man-

ner, with all necessary sanitary precautions. Every particular, and the

charge for vaults and monuments may be ascertained at the offices of

the Company. 2, Lancaster-place, Strand.

This is the news

Before I go back to bemoaning my forcible return from Norway (and believe me, I contemplated claiming refugee status), I'll tell you about the parcel I just unwrapped. I received copies of In The Loop on DVD, and Alan Moore's Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?, and also a second-hand copy of Schoenbaum's Shakespeare's Lives, a brilliant piece of anti-biography in a way.

I said earlier that Norway is a country in which life-enhancing projects are undertaken ambitiously and successfully, whereas Britain is a tired place full of begrudgingly doled-out second-hand junk - there's no pride. There's a sense that every political speech, every idea is expressed with a silent 'whatever' or 'that'll do' at the end. We are the 'whatever' culture. Here's a clip from The Thick of It (the TV series from which In The Loop came) which expresses our depressing cynicism. This is the densest chunk of sustained swearing I've ever experienced, so don't play it if that kind of thing offends you, OK?

However, it's the wrapping of the Shakespeare book which fascinated me. The bookseller packed the volume in a beautiful fragment of a 1934 map of Capel Wood, near New Romsey, and in a few pages of The Times, from Saturday August 7th 1858 (price 4d)! Every page is in beautiful condition, the language is formal and measured, and it's really hard to read - as was traditional in those days, the first few pages are tightly-packed classified ads. I think I'll post a couple of them each day for your amusement and interest. Some are enigmatic, some heartbreaking

.

Let's start with a few of the personal notices, and just imagine the stories behind them - perhaps there's a novel in these:

WILLY,– RETURN or WRITE at once.

GEORGIANA.– RETURN HOME immediately.

Your father is heartbroken.

SEMPER EADEM, "always the same" "All's

well."– 8th and 27th August.

FRIDAY-STREET or KENSINGTON.––WIL

LIAM may RETURN immediately, as all is satisfactorily

arranged.–LIZZIE.

M.P.–Your father is now in a very dangerous state.

Let him have the consolation of seeing you. Not an hour is

to be lost.–E.O.

INDIA.–Initials.–J'éspere que vous parviendra

et que vous me donnerez de vos nouvelles à la meme addresse.

Soyez assuré de mon estime, et que je vous regrette toujours. Je ne

puis plus ici. Dieu vous garde. Newbury.

(This last reads: I hope that you succeed, and that you will give me your news at the same address. Be assured of my respect/admiration, and that I miss you always. I can do no more here. God keep you.)

Feel free to come up with mini-stories for these in the comments section. Perhaps births, weddings and deaths tomorrow.