And finally…

Afternoon all, how are you on this beautiful sunny day? I woke this morning (at 5.15, thanks to the adrenalin gland) ready for a day 'on set'. In my head, it was Sunset Boulevard. I was ready for my close-up, Mr de Mille. As I climbed into my fencing gear, the phrase 'I didn't get fat - the equipment got small' ran through my head. Sadly I didn't leave anyone floating face down in the pool.

Then it was off to Weston Park, a rather beautiful stately home set amongst rolling green acres. The purpose was to introduce a bus-load of international journalists to fencing: VisitEngland.com were taking them on a month-long road trip across the country as part of the Olympics build-up. We were there to show them what goes on at the Olympics and more locally, the Much Wenlock Olympian Games, a more honourable event which is on this weekend: do go.

None of these people are me. I was too busy fencing to take any when we got going. 

So there we were: me, a couple of more senior fencers and a couple of taller, thinner, younger models who seemed quite pleased to be awake at 8.00 a.m. Eventually the journalists - mostly Chinese TV with some European press - appeared. We gave them a high speed demonstration (me on sabre and foil) while trying to avoid smashing the chandelier. Then we got them into kit, gave them the briefest of lessons and set them up in a mini-competition. Competitive isn't the word: they must have been cooped up in that bus for a long time, given the pent-up aggression that manifested itself.

We did some interviews and it turns out that far from starring in some romantic epic, Vole is to be the 'and finally…' story on tonight's news in China ('And finally… crazy things fat Western gaijin do'). Plashing Vole on Chinese TV: well, a billion people can't be wrong. Double chins will be trending in China this year, I tell you.