Andy Coulson's lucky break

Got a letter today, dated 8th July 2012. Forwarded from the house I lived in four years ago.

Oh right. Interesting.

I phone the Jury Summoning Service. Very nice lady answers. 'Hello', I say. 'A couple of problems. Firstly, you used an old address. Don't you get jurors from the electoral roll?' 'Well', she said, 'we get them from the local authority, and they don't bother updating most lists. What's your juror number?'

I tell her. 

'Oh, she said. You're not on our system. In fact, your juror number is associated with a lady named Marilyn'. 

'OK then', say I. 'Next problem. You're calling me for jury service 9 years ago. I did do jury service in 2003, and don't want to go back'. 

'That's a printer error', she said. 

Eh? Really?

So I'm not down to do jury service. Which is a shame, as I was really looking forward to sitting in judgement on Andy Coulson, Rebekah Brooks or Jack Straw in his surely upcoming trial for war crimes. 

Still, top quality work from the HM Courts and Tribunals Service.