Speak for England, Uppal!

At last, my mediocre multimillionaire MP, Mr Paul Uppal has spoken out in the ongoing News of the World phone hacking debate:

Ministers have said the Government is now considering a number of options relating to the control of dangerous newspapers and improving responsible newspaper ownership and a decision will be made in the future.

Paul speaking after the debate said, "I would start by urging the Government to introduce legislation as quickly as possible, for any delay in tackling this issue could have a devastating impact on children and families. This issue has affected families across Britain, from the suburbs, to our green spaces and the inner city estate; we can all talk about lives that have been devastated by a newspaper attack and the impact that this has had on friends and relatives.

"There needs to be a greater responsibility on owners of newspapers, and the law must reflect this, I know that I am echoing the words of David Cameron but if a person chooses to own and look after a newspaper then they should be legally responsible for the actions of that newspaper. In agreeing to take that newspaper into their home they must be ensure that the newspaper is safe and behaves in an appropriate way wherever it is.

"As a result, police have been powerless to prosecute owners for some of the most horrific attacks by newspapers in recent years." Any change in the law must take account of this and extend protection towards victims of all newspaper attacks."

Only joking, readers! I simply replaced the word 'dog(s)' with 'newspaper' to make it look like he has an opinion on the biggest political issue of the era. He wouldn't really espouse an actual opinion on a pressing matter unless dictated to him by Tory Central Office.

Still, a constituent can dream…