…as I'm giving a lecture on New Media next week, but here goes.
I don't understand the internet, and how people use it. Today I've had 212 visitors so far. The numbers have been going up all week, from a previous respectable average of 60-70 hits per day. These new readers are mostly in Europe, with a hefty number from the US, Africa and Asia.
Are they all entranced by my ongoing battle with Paul Uppal, MP for Paul Uppal? Perhaps it's my love of lovelorn lo-fi, or photographs of trees and badly-lit sports halls, or lists of books I've incontinently purchased.
It isn't. Virtually every new visitor is reading a short note I scribbled about the sad and ironic death of Spencer King, inventor of the Range Rover who came to despise the uses to which his practical vehicle was put, and who was killed while out on his bike. Nobody's leaving comments, but they keep coming.
Seriously, why do you think this is?
I am, you may have gathered, a non-driver. I once crashed a Volvo 340 into the back of a rubbish truck at Keele University, but I was only going at 4 mph and somebody else was changing gear, so no damage was done. I'm not anti-vehicle though. Given the choice, I'd like a luxury train, this bike (please, send me some money, it's only £15,000) and this car and this car, though they'd either be given cold fusion engines (still entirely imaginary) or just sit in my driveway as works of art. Although I don't actually have a driveway either.
The Moulton Stainless Double Pylon would always be my first choice. I'd die under the wheels of a guffawing roadhog, but I'd die in considerable, shiny, style. I've lusted after very few things in my life, but this is the one. Oh, and an airship done out in luxury steampunk style.
This is why I love cycling. My only vehicle is a 1970s racing bike in poor condition.
12 comments:
I don't know if it's me or if it's you, but you're cracking me up today. Thanks, I needed it!
Oh, and vis-a-vis preferred mode of transport, my daughter (a non-driver herself) yearns for the day teleportation is perfected.
It's always good to know I've brought a glimmer of light to anyone!
Teleportation's great. My old university managed it some years ago - but only with one proton, so there's a way to go yet.
You really do not understand the web do you?
You get a lot of hits because
a) You blog about absolutely EVERYTHING that is happening.
b) You put millions of youtube clips, photos from various other sites, and links to a a multitude of websites. Any search that finds these will find you too.
c) You are on blogger which means that your blog will be considerably higher on google searches than non-google platforms are.
d) You post about eight hundred times a day.
Here's another hit! Those stats are kind of addicting.
I hate anonymous comments, cowards.
Anonymous: you've missed my point. Why are all these people coming to this one post. There are literally hundreds of thousands of pictures of the new Range Rover on the web, mostly on motoring sites - yet lots of people are coming to mine, and only now, a few months since I posted it.
I'm well aware that linking is important - and courteous. Traffic has tripled - that's odd - and I'm not posting more than usual.
I think I'm responsible for a good 10 percent of your hits Mr. Vole. Mainly because of a shared sense of liberal guilt and love of lo-fi. Which reminds me; why did you give up the long trawl through your music collection?
Thanks Ed. Much appreciated.
I haven't given up - merely suspended due to exhaustion. In your honour, I'll start again today! I'm thinking of adding another project: a photograph of each of my record sleeves per day. That should take up most of the next 20 years…
Huzzah! You have pleased this nerd-boy at least. Le Plashing Vole was starting to become a bit too gloom and doom. I'm not saying you should stop exposing Tory scummery of course; just intersperse it with more obscure early nineties alternative indie magic please.
Right. Back to MA...
p.s. If you're wondering, I'm not 'Ed' Miliband.
Glad to hear it! I think I know who you are.
Fair point about the doom and gloom, though it's hard to avoid these days. So what did you all think of the Breaking Away trailer? It's a great film.
Ooh, a Citroen DS. If ever a car were going to tempt me away from an E Type..
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