Penny for Guy

Pity poor Guy Hands. The multimillionaire (possibly billionaire) financier and owner of EMI records (which has just decided to flog off Abbey Road studios) has sobbingly detailed the loneliness of his personal life:

“Because two of my children are still school age, my wife and they remain at our former family home in Kent when school terms are in session,” he said in his declaration. “I have never visited them there since April 1, 2009. They and my other two adult children visit me at our home in Guernsey.”

“I do not visit the United Kingdom for medical treatment and would not do so except on an emergency basis. I do not visit my parents in the United Kingdom and would not do so except in an emergency.”

Poor little Guy. Cut off from his parents and children. Denied the joys of Britain's high streets, rolling hills and myriad leisure opportunities. He can't even sue people in Britain because it might involve being in the country for over 90 days.

Why must he endure this misery? Is he a dissident? On the run from an oppressive state? Er, no. He doesn't want to pay the top rate of tax, so he's emigrated. He's taken the principled, brave and noble decision to spend more time with his money than with his wife, parents or children. Those poor kids - second best to a bank account - though I can't help thinking that with values like that, they're better off being exposed to a range of other people.

Doesn't your heart bleed? He's an asset-stripping scumbag who's brought EMI to its knees and used his expensive Oxford education to toil for Nomura and Goldman Sacks - the vampires of the global economy, and yet there's not the slightest sign that he considers himself part of any community other than that of the selfish ultra-rich.

"I didn't sleep there but it was my home"

… said Lord Paul, my esteemed Chancellor of the University, as he tried to explain how he managed to wangle very cushy expenses by nominating a hotel room outside London as his 'home', despite it being occupied by the hotel's manager, so he could claim for a London home. Add to this the fact that he's a tax-evader (he claims not to be resident in Britain for tax purposes, even though he has a seat and vote in the upper house of the legislature) and we have a microcosm of the money-fixated immorality into which Labour sunk under the leadership of Blair and Brown. I do pay taxes, don't fiddle expenses, yet don't get any access to our rulers.

Lord Paul has £500m. He claimed £38,000. That's less than 0.01% of his fortune: perhaps a couple of hours' interest.

What an example to management, staff and students.

Bye Tracey! Take Damien with you?

Tracey Emin is planning to leave Britain because tax will rise to 50% on any money earned over £150,000. Brilliant. All those one-joke, limited, attention-seeking ligging artists whose work is funded and bought by shyster Tories like Saatchi can get lost: they're the spirit of vacuous, consumerist 90s Britain, rather than commentaries on it.

Rich wankers always promise to leave - Phil Collins, Paul Daniels, but they never do. Let's try to get a written contract and sue if they don't. Paying tax is a social duty from which we all benefit. We should be publicly shaming corporations and individuals who evade it.

No representation without taxation

There are people in the House of Lords who don't pay tax. That's to say, they have a lifelong seat, with speaking and voting rights in the legislature without ever having to be elected, collecting attendance money and affecting the laws of this country, while hiding their money abroad. They don't contribute to the roads, health service, justice system, defence of the realm, environmental improvement or the education system, but reap all the rewards of living here and being listened to on whatever subject is on their minds.

There are also lots of tax exiles who live abroad but hand over large amounts of money to political parties to get their own way, such as Sean Connery, the Scottish Nationalist (Barbados Branch) amongst many others.

Lord Campbell-Savours moved an amendment to the Political Parties and Elections Bill outlawing this corrupt distortion of democracy. The government and the Tories are planning to allow this revolting practice to continue when the bill comes back to the Commons.

Lobby your MP: mail them, fax them, make a personal call. The rest of us pay taxes and get very little say in affairs - let's level the playing field. Contact your representative via They Work For You.