Deep in the Browne stuff

One of the Tories' constant mantras is that the State must learn from business practices (usually cutting jobs and eradicating pesky rules, such as employment and environmental protections).

In pursuit of this ideal, they've appointed Lord Browne as some kind of business efficiency supremo, to inculcate business efficiency in the civil service.

Let's put to one side the near-collapse of the economy due to business practices over the last couple of years. Instead, let's review Lord Browne's career:

1. He was head of BP, and 'saved' the company by instituting the kinds of cutbacks, corner-cutting and sharp practice which is currently destroying our American cousins' environment right now. Known as the Sun King, he oversaw the deaths of several Texans in a refinery explosion caused by poor maintenance and negligence. He was also a director of Goldman Sachs, one of the guiltiest parties in the crash.

2. He resigned in disgrace after being caught lying to a court about his private life. I believe this is called perjury.

Mmm. Exactly the kind of role model we need in government.

Genius

The banks have collapsed, the financial sector is in crisis and the seas are full of oil, thanks to deregulation, lack of oversight, contempt for the environment, the population and for democracy. Private security firms have murdered hundreds in Iraq and conducted torture on behalf of the CIA and MI5. I would say, broadly speaking, that capitalism has done a brilliant job of enriching the few and an even better one of destroying the planet and impoverishing billions.

So what's our Prime Minister going to do?

Lord Browne is being lined up to be a "super director" with the job of inserting private sector business practices into the heart of government.

Clearly, what government really, really needs is more 'private sector practice'. And who is Lord Browne?

You'll love this.

he left BP early in 2007 after lying in the high court and presiding over a string of high-profile accidents in America, including the Texas City refinery fire in which 15 people died. Browne, who was dubbed the Sun King in business circles after building BP into Britain's biggest company, continues to hold an array of senior positions in the world of business, culture and academia.

Clearly being a perjuring polluter responsible for killing people while he was CEO of BP is no bar to respect from the City. What a delightful few years we're in for.