How not to conduct a survey

One of the dreariest tasks I've undertaken in the past is teaching research methods for social sciences: not my forte at all. But clearly it's quite important.

I've just responded to an Apple survey about my latest purchase, an iPhone. Oh good, I thought. An opportunity to highlight the pros and cons of the device. But no: the questions were largely 'where have you sought support?' and 'are you satisfied?'. No boxes to provide detailed feedback (I like the phone, but the battery life is appalling), and one final kicker: despite this bit

We value and appreciate your input. Thank you for your participation!

(and no, I can't understand why there's an exclamation mark there other than to fake enthusiasm) the last line is:

For any issues with your iPhone please contact your carrier for support.

which sounds like 'run along and don't bother us' to me. Survey fail, customer relations fail.

Retro nerd heaven

There's been a smug spate of iPhone owners (of which I am, admittedly, one) posting pictures of themselves unboxing their new toy.

So I thought I'd post the 1910-1920s equivalent: unboxing a beautiful new Vest Pocket Kodak camera (the box says model B, but they look a little different). This looks like the comparatively rarer c. 1915 model.

But don't worry, geeks: I've made sure that there's an iPhone in there if you look carefully. You can see the full set here (or click these selections for bigger versions). If any of you know where I can get film and processing, let me know: I'd like to try this beauty out.

Some people have no sense of humour

An activist group in Italy has struck PR gold by launching an iPhone game which requires you to catch staff as they leap from phone factory roofs, oversee child labour down the coltan mines (it's a rare element essential for mobile phones) and generally engage in the dubious activities required to be a successful techno-capitalist.

Obviously, they knew Apple would ban the game because major corporations still can't spot an elephant trap. Result: instant win and the point's made. In fact, another good point is made: that Apple's developers and content providers are so in thrall to the company's apparent non-ideological position that they've internalised its ideological values to the point at which almost nothing is 'banned' because nothing 'objectionable' is submitted.

The best bit is one of Apple's objections to the game:

guidelines relate to depictions of "violence or abuse of children", and "excessively objectionable or crude content". 

So, in this hyperreal existence, it's OK to abuse children and adult workers for profit (remember, they'll always tell you that moving production to dictatorships and countries with lower employee and environmental protection is 'efficient'), but it's definitely not OK to play games in which you abuse children and adult workers for profit. One of these just isn't funny: but I can't help thinking that Apple's picked the wrong one.

Take a bite

I know I'll lose most of you now, but yesterday was a glorious one for Apple Mac users: new iPhones (time to get one), a stunning new OS coming in September, and radically upgraded laptops - I'll be replacing this 7 year-old iBook with one of these beasts in September, thanks to the education discount we can all get.