Clean bowled

Well, that just about wraps it up for me. I've handed in a slipshod essay and Australia have handed the innings to England with about the same due care and attention - currently 150-7.

The humping dog USB object is still bothering me. There's a factory in China staffed by virtual slaves existing on a bowl of rice per day, churning out millions of humping dog USB sticks for decadent westerners.

Almost forgot: don't forget David Mitchell on Desert Island Discs (BBC Radio 4) on Sunday morning. I have a feeling it's going to be a weird, overly-familiar ride.

Er, thanks.

Amongst the many weird and wonderful presents I received this week, the weirdest was from Pritpal, my esteemed colleague.

He presented me with this:

It's a USB Humping Dog. Stick it in the USB drive, and it humps your computer. Admit it, it's the tasteful gift you've always dreamed about. It isn't, by the way, a memory stick. It's pure, in that it's designed for a single purpose which it performs successfully and noisily. Buy yours here.