Free at last, thank God Almighty, free at last

I don't know if you care about or have been following the shenanigans at FIFA (sharp businessmen + sport + £billions = corruption!!!!!), but it's fascinating. I'm involved with my sport's governing body as it tries to modernise from amateurish snobby incompetence to professional outfit, so I can see some of the pressure points.

What's wonderful about FIFA is the pantomime villain quality of these people: they've turned their organisation (like the IOC, run for decades by actual card-carrying Fascists) into a cash cow protected from corruption enquiries, tax authorities and justice (gotta love the Swiss), and they still acting like they're the victims.


Hence Sepp Blatter's plaintive cry in his re-election speech today (unopposed, his opponents having been less subtle than him with the suitcases of cash):

""Football belongs to everyone and we are in charge. I have found my voice again. If you agree with me, say it!"

It brings to mind images of poor Mr. Blatter bound and gagged in the cellar of his Zurich eyrie, eyes rolling as his opponents drag trolleys of gold bullion towards waiting trucks before making a fast getaway. You wouldn't think he's been there since 1975, and President since 1998…

What a rotten bunch. And talking of rotten football records:

Football: not coming home

The 2018 World Cup has been awarded to Russia, and 2022 to Qatar. Enjoy those 40C + temperatures and the ban on alcohol outside a few licenced hotels in '22. Oh, and homosexuals: sorry. The Russians don't like you and the Qataris have a legal ban on homosexuality. You'll have to get your kicks (sorry) elsewhere. Straights are in trouble too: kissing in public is illegal. I'm quite looking forward to footballers being arrested for overly-demonstrative goal-celebrations.

Good. The Panorama programme a few days ago proved fairly conclusively what we already knew: that FIFA (like many international sport governing bodies) is riddled with corruption, and that any country wishing to host an event has to agree to exploitation and fraud: FIFA's demands included exemption from minimum-wage, taxation and money-laundering laws.

If you've read even a small part of the Wikileaks reports on Russia, you'll recognise that a country with no distinction between the mafia and the ruling class and government is the ideal location for a corrupt, arrogant and exclusive event. All those ticket scams, construction rackets, prostitution rings, and on and on ad infinitum. They're suited to each other.

And on top of all that, David Cameron looks extremely stupid, flying to Switzerland to apologise for the BBC's journalism, flying back for PMQs, then out to Switzerland for more lobbying and schmoozing.

FIFA of course have done nothing about the corruption evidence. Their ethics committee says that no official has been convicted of bribery, neatly overlooking the fact that bribery wasn't a criminal offence in Switzerland (predictably) at the time. Who's the head of the ethics committee? Why, it's that former Tory Scum MP Sebastian Coe!

Perhaps significantly, Russia is 140th and Qatar 120th on the Index of Press Freedom. I wonder if Panorama did sway the voting to some extent! No pesky investigations in these countries!