I get readers: odd ones (2)

Even better than the American who searched for 'nude Geordie lasses' is this Google search, from Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada:

do i need licence in b.c to keep a monkey

Maybe you do, or maybe you don't, but you definitely need your head examined if you think that keeping a monkey as a pet is a civilised thing to do. Leave it in the jungle (or the lab).