Friday, 18 November 2016

Spam, spam, egg and chips…

Who am I? According to my spam folder for Nov 10th-15th I am:
  • a heterosexual woman unsatisfied by her boyfriend's small penis
  • a lonely heterosexual man
  • Fat
  • the laziest of academics
  • unobservant when it comes to how major corporations' names are spelled
  • greedy
  • about to be a millionaire
  • cold
  • sick
  • American
  • bored
  • a Labour member
  • uneducated
  • a future Captain of Industry
  • hobbled by obsolete IT
  • a small business owner
  • low in confidence
  • missing some parcels
  • quite racist in a creepily sexualised way
  • bald
  • paranoid
but capitalism will save me.

Here's the found poem of the spam list. 

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RE: Dear Account Owner,
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Re: Kasmera ISI Journal - Call for paper submission
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take a look at my new driving
see what's coming on Tuesday
Dear Santa
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Do THIS to make a man commit to you
Re: Your Abandoned Package For Delivery
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*RE: 3.7 M USD Beneficiary
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Emma said...

Interesting range. You don't seem in need of any religious salvation though.

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