Friday, 18 November 2016

Spam, spam, egg and chips…

Who am I? According to my spam folder for Nov 10th-15th I am:
  • a heterosexual woman unsatisfied by her boyfriend's small penis
  • a lonely heterosexual man
  • Fat
  • the laziest of academics
  • unobservant when it comes to how major corporations' names are spelled
  • greedy
  • about to be a millionaire
  • cold
  • sick
  • American
  • bored
  • a Labour member
  • uneducated
  • a future Captain of Industry
  • hobbled by obsolete IT
  • a small business owner
  • low in confidence
  • missing some parcels
  • quite racist in a creepily sexualised way
  • bald
  • paranoid
but capitalism will save me.

Here's the found poem of the spam list. 

Lonely Russian Girls Looking for Boyfriends!
If you're "Curvy" this will change your sex life
Re: Revistas Academicas Journals
I need your help taking on Grill'd
Your Amazon.co.uk Account
More than 50 Million $ to invest in your project
Canada Gooose Parka , Big Discount
RE: Dear Account Owner,
Find Your Medicare Supplement Plan Today.
Today also can submit the papers.
Christmas Time Gifts
BMW LOTTERY DEPARTMENT
Find Your Medicare Supplement Plan Today.
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Early Bird Offer | Up To £5 Off
Act Now to Get a FREE no obligation Quote
Pandora Jewellery ,UK Only 50% OFF
RE: PASSWORD MANAGER
Re: Kasmera ISI Journal - Call for paper submission
Get your limited edition Labour Calendar today
Account information update is needed
15% OFF – Perfect Luxury Gifts For Christmas – 
IT Support Desk
Show Online Degree Listings
RE: PASSWORD MANAGER
Open Management and Leadership Development Prog..
High Quality Logo Design & Website For Your Business
Urgent Notification!!
Frusrated With How Slow Your Computer Is? MUST
Find New Voip Phone Systems Options
[Black Friday] 90% Off Ray-Ban Sunglasses + Free S
We detected that someone logged into your account
Ladies- get the volume you deserve
Ladies- get the volume you deserve
take a look at my new driving
see what's coming on Tuesday
Dear Santa
Polo Ralph Lauren Last Day! y $9.99 Stock Up Sale
Your Account was logged into from a new browser
Do THIS to make a man commit to you
Re: Your Abandoned Package For Delivery
NOTIFICATION FROM FEDERAL RESERVE BANK.
Lonely Asian Girls Looking for Boyfriends!
RE: Password HelpDesk
NOTIFICATION FROM FEDERAL RESERVE BANK.
Are you frustrated by your thinning hair?
NOTIFICATION FROM FEDERAL RESERVE BANK.
Get Your Free ADT Monitored system and receive ...
Ladies- get the volume you deserve
*RE: 3.7 M USD Beneficiary
Your Paper Towel Is Poisoning Our Environment –
Invitation from Prof. Karl Heinz
Get Your Free ADT Monitored System from the mos...
Sleep Safely - Alarm Special - $100 Visa Gift Card
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2 comments:

Emma said...

Interesting range. You don't seem in need of any religious salvation though.

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