Separated at Birth?

They're both eccentric tyrants with an insane world view. They're both physically declining in the full glare of the media. They both love ridiculous military uniforms.

Has anyone seen Muammar Gadaffi and Michael Jackson in the same room? I think not.

Grease is the word

It is in Iowa, where they're planning a Michael Jackson statue - in butter. At least it'll be the right colour.

Michael Jackson: victim of global politics

I've cracked the Jackson case. The simple rule is cui bono, or in English, who gains?

What story was all over the press for two weeks previously, and what story immediately sunk like a stone?

That's right. Iran. QED - the Mullahs murdered the Shah of Pop to distract attention from their electoral shenanigans. Let's see how far we can get this round the web, mateys.

Michael Jackson: the final word

Not from me, from Charlie Brooker, who makes fine points when he isn't showing off:

But the news is not the place to "celebrate" Jackson's music. The Glastonbury stage, the pub, the club, the office stereo, the arts documentary: that's the place. The news should report his death, then piss off out of the way, leaving people to moonwalk and raise a toast in peace.

If I was God, here's what I'd do now. I'd force all the rolling networks to cover nothing but the death of Michael Jackson, 24 hours a day, for the next seven years. Glue up the studio doors and keep everyone inside, endlessly "reporting" it, until they start going mad and developing their own language – not just verbal, but visual. And I'd encourage viewers to place bets on which anchor would be the first to physically end it all live on air.

And while that was happening, I'd create some other stations that covered other stuff. Current affairs type stuff. I think I'd call them "news channels". They might catch on.

No laughing matter (unless the jokes improve)

I'm utterly indifferent to the passing of Michael Jackson, beyond the human sympathy for an individual dying young. My initial thought was that he seemed perfectly healthy on Radio 4 the other day, discussing the Iraq war inquiry. Turns out that it's another Michael Jackson who died.

However, because I'm interested in the way and the speed at which people generate humour, you're invited to leave your jokes here. I have no comment to make about quality.

I was sent the first at 8 a.m. BST, from Zoot Horn:

Jackson's last words: 'Treat me in the children's ward'.

The second and third came an hour or so later:

Emma:

What do Alex Ferguson and Michael Jackson have in common? Neither will be playing Gig(g)s this August.

And finally from my sister:

Police have drawn up some suspects. They're not sure who to blame it on. Will it be the sunshine?, the moonlight?, the good times? or their number one suspect, ....the boogie