Wot no blog?

Plashing Vole Towers apologises for the break in service. Outrage and irony levels are currently heavily depleted by a) Israel denouncing Iran for potentially possessing nuclear weapons and breaching UN resolutions (b) Dan Hodges (c) The Tories and (d) the wilful destruction of New Tricks.

Fresh supplies of outrage will be delivered soon, when normal service will resume. In the meantime, feel free to acquire opinions from so-called rival sources.

It's true. I've been busy with pleasant and/or quotidian duties recently and my blood isn't currently angried-up. Last night I attended my colleague @MsEmentor's book launch (pics) followed by a convivial curry. I've read a couple of books (Jonathan Coe's Expo '58 which was enjoyable but wasn't quite funny, profound or moving enough compared with his usual work, and DJ Taylor's The Windsor Faction, which I immersed myself in, but which would require the Dictionary of National Biography and a decent encyclopaedia for people who aren't, as I am, 1930s culture obsessives: half the pleasure is in appreciating his research).

I've been to some decent classes, met some very promising students and recovered from the trauma of watching Threads the other night. In fact I'm so full of general bonhomie that I'm going to post some cheery songs by The Wonder Stuff, The Delgados, Shack, George Formby and finally some Cannonball Adderley:

Smile you bastards, or you're sacked

Sometimes the most oppressive aspects of life are the most stupid - Keihin Electric Express Railway Company are assessing their employees to make sure they're smiling properly and frequently, using some software

Railway workers of Japan: rise up, scowl, and overthrow the tyranny of enforced false joy! Our masters pay us to facilitate their profits. They have enough power without demanding that we pretend to enjoy it - it's an attempt to take over your souls.

Here in the UK, grumpy shop assistants are a cultural strength, from Open All Hours to Fawlty Towers to Black Books, never mind the distinct brand of misery dispensed by transport officials. Why should people on the minimum wage be forced to smile through the inanity and stupidity of the great British public? I respect the strength of mind of any employee who refuses to engage in this fraudulent attempt to persuade us that suffering terrible conditions on low pay is somehow the fulfilment of all their fantasies. Furthermore, the grumpy employee reminds us that there's a human in that uniform, not a robot on whom we can unload all our frustrations. They can treat us as badly with full legal immunity - they can't build enjoying it into our contracts.

So next time you're treated dismissively, rudely or surlily by a man or woman in a neon nylon suit, remind yourself that this is an act of class warfare and applaud their brave stand against the tyranny of simulated joy. Unhappiness is your right and mine.