Flowerface - an apology

OK, I take it back and I was just being paranoid. My friends say I'm paranoid - they say it behind my back and they're not really friends, they're aliens hired to make me insecure. They're good at it too. 

Enormous swell of popularity

Dear God, I've acquired 2 followers who aren't bound to me by inescapable extra-web bonds - people, surely you've got better things to do? I'm slightly unnerved though - Flowerface has used a picture of Mitchell and Webb as his/her profile photo. Is this satirical? I'm used to being shouted at on the street for looking like Mitchell. We share a birthday. His thoughts are essentially my thoughts…

But welcome, anyway.