I Foresee Calamity Befalling You At The Next Election

Never mind moat cleaning, duck islands, gold monogrammed well covers and servants' wings (that's wings on the house, not some hideous surgery to create flying servants a la Montgomery Burns) Tory MP David Tredinnick spent £510 of our money on astrology DVDs - and he wants to run the country. The utter, utter, wanker. I predict an election defeat. Actually, I don't, I just want him to lose badly.

Desert Island Ducks

Dorothy and Gordon have told me horrific tales of greed and sexual violence in the duck world. Here's the only picture they sent which is suitable for a family blog… Wonder if they've got a Tory-quality duck island? Props to Neal, by the way, who predicted in the comments section that Sir Peter's ducks wouldn't like it.