All together now for St. Patrick

Going out last night was quite annoying: an English midlands town packed with English people wearing Guinness hats AS THOUGH IT WAS SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE. As the owner of an Irish passport, I celebrated by drinking real ales and going for a curry, as is traditional.

However, if you're wondering why that silly hat seemed appropriate, and why you feel so bad today, here's an Hibernian air to explain it all, with a catchy beat.

Everyone has his price: politicians are cheap

Here's the shocking story of how the alcohol merchants got together with untrustworthy researchers and lobbyists to stop the Scottish government putting a minimum price and alcohol, despite the research showing that higher prices = lower consumption.

In case the politicians weren't sure they'd been bought and sold, SAB Miller rubbed it in by sending every opposition MP a gift:

When unit pricing was taken out of the bill, all the opposition MPs received a free crate of beer from SAB Miller.

I hope - but doubt - that they had the grace to feel insulted. But I bet they cracked open every can without a qualm.