Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Festive Wednesday Conundrum

I'm struggling with Christmas presents. I've 5 siblings and - against the odds - they've all acquired partners. Then there are all my friends and extended family: it's testing my wallet and imagination.

So as a bit of light relief, a question for you. In the old days, naughty children would receive a lump of coal. Given that it's been an appalling year for culture and technology, what would you give to your enemies this year? One of my friends received a tin for dishwasher tablets! I was given a six-pack of Fosters' Lager last year. By a close relative.

My choices:
The Green Lantern film - what a shame a great character was served so badly.
The RIM Playbook. A tablet computer that won't even do email without a BlackBerry attached: genius.
Anonymous: shameless, pointless disinformation with a deeply conservative agenda.
Nick Clegg.
Channel 4.
The Metallica/Lou Reed album
Any novel by Louise Bagshawe (now Mensch) and Celia Ahern.

Add your own in the comments box.


Blossom said...

In all honesty, I don't think you could get a worse gift for a woman than a nasal hair trimmer. It might be what she needs, but it certainly won't be what she wants.

Emma said...


The Plashing Vole said...

Euro! Very topical and funny. Nasal hair trimmer: what a sensitive gift. A Twitter correspondent tells me she was given a feather duster and sexy knickers combination… by her mum.

Nasher said...

A friend of mine was rather hoping she was getting an engagement ring from her long standing boyfriend for christmas last year. She asked him what her gift was to be and he confirmed it was round, something she would see everyday and something he had been intending on getting her for a while. Christmas morning arrived and she scanned the gifts for the tiny little box. It turned out they had crossed wires, what he actually gave her was a new loo seat! Needles to say this christmas she is single. I can't think why.