A Fair Go For Billionaires

Sadly, my self-pitying millionaire MP Paul Uppal isn't a fictional character. He believes that to get the economy going, millionaires need to pay less tax, while poor people should pay more. It's all about incentives to work.

An actual fictional character - Alan Billison - puts the case beautifully (thanks to Matthew for this one):



The same company is responsible for this ad, which pays homage to the Life of Brian rather nicely:

In non-Uppal news…

I seem to be listening exclusively to Australian bands at the moment. I just received Australian Ghost Story, the seductively creepy new album by The Paradise Motel, one of the Antipodean dark chamber-pop groups I love so much. It's gorgeous - especially 'My Sister in '94', though not as instant as their previous albums. I'm just glad they're back. I imported the CD from Oz, but you can get it on itunes. If only they'd tour the UK.

This is 'Brown Snake', from the new album:



Here's 'Heavy Weather' (some kind of 'mix', but you can't have everything) and 'Watch Illuminum' from their previous work:





That led me to The Triffids, the progenitors of melancholy Cobber-Pop. Then on to the Australian supergroup, Blackeyed Susans, populated by Triffids, Go-Betweens and all sorts. then off to Hydroplane (a huge favourite of mine) and related bands The Cat's Miaow and Huon - and not a soap star between them.

Old habits die hard…

That convict's anthem, Men At Work's brilliant 'Down Under'… is based on a stolen riff! Terrible news. Utter recidivists, these Australians.

Actually, I'm not convinced, but see what you think.

Still, all together now: 'she just smiled and gave me Vegemite sandwich'!

Catch it!

No, not swine flu. The last day of the cricket's on and I'm not there - my sister just texted me to say there are seats but here I am at work and it looks like rain may be on the way. (If you don't know the area, Wolverhampton is twenty minutes away from Birmingham on the train and Edgbaston's a suburb of Brum). So I'm stuck with the OBO.

After three terrible, rain-ruined days, it's a real battle. I thought the Aussies would pull back into contention after chucking their first innings away for 203, but they're now on 171-4: better than before but still not much of a challenge for England. I wonder what's happened to the Australians. They used to be a) winners, b) hugely competitive and c) charming/amusing with it. Now they're none of these things and the world's slightly poorer for it.

(Oh yes, a note for our American readers).

Cricket's like baseball, only better. A match can last 5 days and still end in a draw. Breaks are taken for drinks, lunch and tea. The US and Canada had a regular test match well into the twentieth-century and I gather the tradition has been revived. The only cricket match in American literature is in Little Women, which makes sense as the game hung on in Pennsylvania longer than elsewhere - baseball took over during the Civil War because it was easier to carry all that stuff around. American cricket now centres on Indian computing experts in California and Caribbean immigrants in NY, rather than sad old English expats trying to show off…

Clean bowled

Well, that just about wraps it up for me. I've handed in a slipshod essay and Australia have handed the innings to England with about the same due care and attention - currently 150-7.

The humping dog USB object is still bothering me. There's a factory in China staffed by virtual slaves existing on a bowl of rice per day, churning out millions of humping dog USB sticks for decadent westerners.

Almost forgot: don't forget David Mitchell on Desert Island Discs (BBC Radio 4) on Sunday morning. I have a feeling it's going to be a weird, overly-familiar ride.

Nightwatchman

I'm so bored with this educational theory essay, exacerbated by the knowledge that I've got to get it done by tomorrow - no chance for bunking off.

I've had the cricket on in the background (the Guardian's wonderful OBO coverage: one day they'll print one of my puns) and it's been a humdinger. England started brilliantly, then relied on their legends to arse things up - big collapse in the middle order, led by Pietersen throwing his wicket away, Bopara and Collingwood doing likewise, then Flintoff marking his final Test with a magnificent 4 runs. After bowling uselessly all day, Australia must be jubilant with 364-6 (Strauss 161no)

Irish eyes aren't smiling

So Ireland go out to New Zealand, comprehensively beaten - but then very few of Ireland's team are professional cricketers (or Irish, come to think of it). It was fun mixing it with the big boys though, and getting further than Australia in a sport a long way down the national pecking order (football, hurling, rugby, soccer, horse-racing, golf - yuck) is very funny.

I'm still not convinced by Twenty20 - it's the equivalent of table football. Give me the slow, thoughtful strategy of a Test match, occasionally enlivened by a wicked spell of fast bowling or the deviousness of a good spinner.

What do they know of cricket, who only cricket know?

Asked C L R James. Very little, if we're talking about Australia, humiliated! I hope England and Wales (usually known as England) go out next. Today: Holland v. Pakistan live here. Can Holland beat Pakistan? Well, they beat England convincingly. Ireland, of course, qualified for the Super 8s already, by beating Bangladesh. This is how they did it:

Tamim's run-out was a comic affair. Niall O'Brien dashed around the stumps to collect Mahmudullah's nudge, Tamim was sent back and dropped his bat, and O'Brien's throw to the bowler's end deflected on to the stumps off the ample stomach of William McCallan.