In case you missed the big sports news of the weekend, it wasn't Ireland's narrow loss to France in the rugby (Thierry Henry should have played, he'd do well), but Stoke City's heroic result away to Manchester City in the FA Cup. Between Stoke's poor away record, Manchester City's status as the richest club in the world (most of their players cost more than Stoke's entire team) and our very predictable style (Rory Delap's long throw followed by a headed goal has been our signature for a very long time), they should have given us an enormous shoeing.
Instead, they huffed and puffed to a draw. They now get to play us tomorrow in the Premiership - with a depleted team - and again in the cup at Stoke, where we might pull off something miraculous. Only to then meet Chelsea, damn it.
Monday, 15 February 2010
Let's forget about fashion and go back to politics
David Cameron's announced his big new plan at a press conference complete with 'real people' saying suspiciously focus-grouped bland things designed to attract people who've never vote Tory before: sell public services to co-operatives. Not, you understand, the co-operatives founded by lefty types in the 19th century to pass on economies of scale rather than enriching middlemen.
No, Dave hates government, with its pension-providing, healthcare-arranging, schoolteaching meddling. He wants to privatise all that, but he knows that the British rather like the NHS and getting pensions backed by the 5th largest economy in the world. So he's dreamed up this co-op idea: that we could form a group to 'provide' services (e.g. open a school or social services centre) contracted by the state, in much the same way that Nike only brands trainers rather than making them.
What are the advantages to the Tories? Mainly, getting rid of 'big government' and the trade unions who are active in public service. It's ideological rather than beneficial. One point: if a council fails to provide an adequate service, you can sack them by voting them out. You also have a degree of oversight - you can demand documents, for instance. None of this will happen under the RyanGovernment model: weird cults and big businesses will start schools and their decisions and practices will be 'commercially confidential'.
The Swedes elected a rightwing government which permitted private groups to operate state schools - and equality has started to slip backwards in this most egalitarian of states.
Stand up for government. When it goes wrong (e.g. Iraq), it goes horribly wrong. When it goes right (the NHS, the Open University, pensions, education) it shows how great humans can be when they decide to work together rather than grabbing their personal piece of heaven. But then again, grabbing what you can is the core of Conservative ideology.
No, Dave hates government, with its pension-providing, healthcare-arranging, schoolteaching meddling. He wants to privatise all that, but he knows that the British rather like the NHS and getting pensions backed by the 5th largest economy in the world. So he's dreamed up this co-op idea: that we could form a group to 'provide' services (e.g. open a school or social services centre) contracted by the state, in much the same way that Nike only brands trainers rather than making them.
What are the advantages to the Tories? Mainly, getting rid of 'big government' and the trade unions who are active in public service. It's ideological rather than beneficial. One point: if a council fails to provide an adequate service, you can sack them by voting them out. You also have a degree of oversight - you can demand documents, for instance. None of this will happen under the RyanGovernment model: weird cults and big businesses will start schools and their decisions and practices will be 'commercially confidential'.
The Swedes elected a rightwing government which permitted private groups to operate state schools - and equality has started to slip backwards in this most egalitarian of states.
Stand up for government. When it goes wrong (e.g. Iraq), it goes horribly wrong. When it goes right (the NHS, the Open University, pensions, education) it shows how great humans can be when they decide to work together rather than grabbing their personal piece of heaven. But then again, grabbing what you can is the core of Conservative ideology.
Airline FAIL
Unfortunately it's not online and I don't have the newspaper with me, but did anyone else see Ryanair's Valentine advert?
It was pretty tasteless: an oral sex joke (a picture of a descending zip with the legend 'Going Down', referring to their prices, naturally), but it made me ponder the calibre of their advertising department.
Would you really want to associate aircraft with the phrase 'Going Down'?
It was pretty tasteless: an oral sex joke (a picture of a descending zip with the legend 'Going Down', referring to their prices, naturally), but it made me ponder the calibre of their advertising department.
Would you really want to associate aircraft with the phrase 'Going Down'?
Friday, 12 February 2010
Rhyme does pay
I've just finished a 2 hour seminar on medieval literature: Beowulf to Chaucer. It's all the students get on this period in their time here, which saddens me very much, and inevitably there wasn't much chance to concentrate on anything, so we looked at a little Arthuriana (Layamon and Malory) and a short Anglo-Saxon piece ('The Wife's Lament') and that was it. I regret not putting a slapstick miracle/mystery play on there - that would have lightened the Friday-afternoon feeling.
Nevertheless, we managed, and I got my reward (like the Anglo-Saxons, it's here on earth and not in heaven): Ben (not Cynical Ben) and Hilary gave me a Twelfth Night present of what looks like an excellent book, Andrew Piper's Dreaming in Books: the Making of the Bibliographic Imagination in the Romantic Age (U of Chicago P, 2009). From a brief perusal of the chapter titles, it looks imaginative and wide-ranging.
Then onwards I trekked to the post room and found two parcels. In one was a cassette tape (!) of Decca [Mitford, agitator, aristocrat and muckraker] and the Dectones with Maya Angelou [famous poet], singing 'Right, Said Fred' and 'One Fish Ball'. Also included is a fluorescent orange 'Don't Forget Your Day Job Records' Kazoo, which will go in the kazoo rack alongside my Nightingales instrument.
In the other parcel was another free book via Librarything's Early Reviewer operation. It's an uncorrected proof copy of Frances Stonor Saunders' The Woman Who Shot Mussolini. The woman in question is the fascinating The Honourable Violet Gibson, Anglo-Irish aristocrat who first became a leftwing Catholic Irish nationalist then a lover of Italy. She shot Musso in the nose, and was confined in an asylum for the rest of her life, without trial or review.
Saunders wrote the rollicking history of knightly psychopaths by tracking the career of British thug Hawkwood, but the first book of hers I read was her brilliant examination of the CIA's cultural activities, Who Paid the Piper?. Highly recommended.
So - nicely set up for a good weekend. Have fun.
Nevertheless, we managed, and I got my reward (like the Anglo-Saxons, it's here on earth and not in heaven): Ben (not Cynical Ben) and Hilary gave me a Twelfth Night present of what looks like an excellent book, Andrew Piper's Dreaming in Books: the Making of the Bibliographic Imagination in the Romantic Age (U of Chicago P, 2009). From a brief perusal of the chapter titles, it looks imaginative and wide-ranging.
Then onwards I trekked to the post room and found two parcels. In one was a cassette tape (!) of Decca [Mitford, agitator, aristocrat and muckraker] and the Dectones with Maya Angelou [famous poet], singing 'Right, Said Fred' and 'One Fish Ball'. Also included is a fluorescent orange 'Don't Forget Your Day Job Records' Kazoo, which will go in the kazoo rack alongside my Nightingales instrument.
In the other parcel was another free book via Librarything's Early Reviewer operation. It's an uncorrected proof copy of Frances Stonor Saunders' The Woman Who Shot Mussolini. The woman in question is the fascinating The Honourable Violet Gibson, Anglo-Irish aristocrat who first became a leftwing Catholic Irish nationalist then a lover of Italy. She shot Musso in the nose, and was confined in an asylum for the rest of her life, without trial or review.
Saunders wrote the rollicking history of knightly psychopaths by tracking the career of British thug Hawkwood, but the first book of hers I read was her brilliant examination of the CIA's cultural activities, Who Paid the Piper?. Highly recommended.
So - nicely set up for a good weekend. Have fun.
Break out the black crepe armbands, McQueen is no more
Apparently a man named Lee who made clothes under the name of Alexander McQueen has died rather young.
The Guardian marked his passing with a black-framed portrait of what they called an 'iconoclastic genius' with the legend 'The Darkness Has Won', an emotional trough it didn't plumb even for September 11th. The TV stations last night were incredibly obsequious. I know there's an art to fashion, but they really lost it. His couture clothes were deliberately unwearable and the 'ordinary' clothes were both ridiculous and ridiculously expensive.
To be a genius, you have to make a positive and lasting contribution to society. Fashion surely fails the second of these criteria, given that six months is enough to make fashionistas despise what they used to wear.
But let's see what the assorted pundits believed made McQueen a 'genius' shall we? These are assorted quotes from TV and radio last night:
The Guardian marked his passing with a black-framed portrait of what they called an 'iconoclastic genius' with the legend 'The Darkness Has Won', an emotional trough it didn't plumb even for September 11th. The TV stations last night were incredibly obsequious. I know there's an art to fashion, but they really lost it. His couture clothes were deliberately unwearable and the 'ordinary' clothes were both ridiculous and ridiculously expensive.
To be a genius, you have to make a positive and lasting contribution to society. Fashion surely fails the second of these criteria, given that six months is enough to make fashionistas despise what they used to wear.
But let's see what the assorted pundits believed made McQueen a 'genius' shall we? These are assorted quotes from TV and radio last night:
'fashion publicist': 'he charged so much money for his stuff - it was so cool'
Bloke in stupid glasses: 'one of the most amazing artists of anyone's time'
Ridiculous. An egotistical capitalist who pretended to be rebellious while oiling the wheels is neither a genius nor a rebel. Perhaps unwearable clothes satirise the fashion world, but only if you aren't selling them and other slightly more wearable garments.
The crowning moment of this unjustifiable outbreak of mourning was Jon Snow's conversation with some fashion maven. 'What was his lasting contribution to society?', asked the hapless hack. 'He invented the bumster jean', replied this self-regarding fool. 'Everyone now wears their jeans low now so you can see their underwear'.
I stand corrected. I apologise unreservedly. I realise now that my respect for Darwin, Fleming, Dirac, Turing, Shakespeare, Byron and a lot of other dilettantes was merely callow and unsophisticated thinking. Clearly, persuading everyone that ill-fitting clothing is desirable outshines any mere scientific or artistic achievement. Truly, we are lost, cast out into the outer darkness, lost sheep with no sartorial shepherd. Whither the waistband now? How, O Master, shall we wear our trousers without thine divine inspiration?
Oh yes: 'bumster' isn't a word. It's an excrescence. If there's a hell, McQueen belongs there simply for this.
Mendacious Mandelson
Little Peter's up to his old tricks again. He was on Radio 4 last night describing anyone who complains about the £500m cut in university funding as an 'enemy of progress'.
Now, one of my areas of speciality is Communist literature, and this phrase seemed very familiar. Enemies of Progress are to be shot. Anyone who doesn't want to be shot is and Enemy of Progress and will be shot… It reminds me of the language used by those forcing through Enclosures, Native American reservations, or the Highland Clearances. We're the peasantry, deported to make way for sheep because that's 'progress'.
It is Orwellian in its redefinition of Progress as Massive Funding Cuts. There's just no logical link. Throwing money at a problem isn't necessarily progressive, but there's no way you can describe course closures, student rejections, bigger classes and huge numbers of redundancy as progressive. Though no doubt management will describe it as 'efficiency', which in their tiny and non-contextual world counts as a good thing.
So remember, when you get the sack, you're going over the top in the name of Progress. Then you'll feel better. The clocks will strike thirteen and you'll be trouble by false memories no more. You'll love the Leader.
Now, one of my areas of speciality is Communist literature, and this phrase seemed very familiar. Enemies of Progress are to be shot. Anyone who doesn't want to be shot is and Enemy of Progress and will be shot… It reminds me of the language used by those forcing through Enclosures, Native American reservations, or the Highland Clearances. We're the peasantry, deported to make way for sheep because that's 'progress'.
It is Orwellian in its redefinition of Progress as Massive Funding Cuts. There's just no logical link. Throwing money at a problem isn't necessarily progressive, but there's no way you can describe course closures, student rejections, bigger classes and huge numbers of redundancy as progressive. Though no doubt management will describe it as 'efficiency', which in their tiny and non-contextual world counts as a good thing.
So remember, when you get the sack, you're going over the top in the name of Progress. Then you'll feel better. The clocks will strike thirteen and you'll be trouble by false memories no more. You'll love the Leader.
Down the paper mines
If you're a student of English, I should be seeing you this morning - it's Return of Work Fest. If you don't, you're missing out on lots of lovely feedback. And perhaps some personal abuse. Who can tell, given the state of my handwriting?
Seriously - collect your work today. My office is overflowing.
Then this afternoon it's the Anglo-Saxon to Medieval seminar, one of my favourites.
Seriously - collect your work today. My office is overflowing.
Then this afternoon it's the Anglo-Saxon to Medieval seminar, one of my favourites.
Thursday, 11 February 2010
Forward to the 9th Century
Striking a massive blow for mystics everywhere, the Church of England has voted to work towards female bishops (one day) - equal opportunities superstition is so progressive.
Why the 9th Century? Because of the legend of Pope Joan.
I love it when (in another church) the Pope and his mates furiously bar homosexuals entry to the priesthood - that's quality denial based on the priests I've met.
Why the 9th Century? Because of the legend of Pope Joan.
I love it when (in another church) the Pope and his mates furiously bar homosexuals entry to the priesthood - that's quality denial based on the priests I've met.
Love and Money
Intelliwench (who is both) is seeking a mate. She's also not very impressed with corporate America - read her very funny adventures in the Dow Jones.
Oh what a beautiful morning…
It's 11.11 - precisely 11 hours and 11 minutes since I left work last night - locked in! It's a beautiful day, and I'm not teaching until 6 o'clock. I'm being interviewed by a student and seeing another couple, then I'm spending the rest of the day reading some new stuff on Norse sagas and polishing my piece for the English Subject Centre's newsletter. Aside from a lecture for next week, I can then devote my time to research on my Anne of Green Gables paper. Wow, I sound like a proper academic.
What I'll probably really do is surf Mac rumour sites and drink tea with colleagues…
What I'll probably really do is surf Mac rumour sites and drink tea with colleagues…
Wednesday, 10 February 2010
Young, Dumb and Tory Scum
David Cameron's been giving a lecture at TED, the forum for very intelligent people. The idea is that whoever you are, you get the same short space of time to explain your Very Big Idea.
Oh dear. You can see a summary of Cameron's speech, and it's really poor: rehashed bits of Thatcherism with added 'the internet will free everybody from big government' (i.e. the state which provides child benefit and healthcare etc. etc. etc.). Even Gordon Brown did better.
It's not that I'm shocked by his vacuousness, I"m shocked by everybody not noticing. This was his big moment to outline a progressive Conservatism for the new economic reality - and all he can say is that a few people who're good at spreadsheets will identify waste. Oh dear, oh dear oh dear.
Oh dear. You can see a summary of Cameron's speech, and it's really poor: rehashed bits of Thatcherism with added 'the internet will free everybody from big government' (i.e. the state which provides child benefit and healthcare etc. etc. etc.). Even Gordon Brown did better.
It's not that I'm shocked by his vacuousness, I"m shocked by everybody not noticing. This was his big moment to outline a progressive Conservatism for the new economic reality - and all he can say is that a few people who're good at spreadsheets will identify waste. Oh dear, oh dear oh dear.
More like the Fleming version of Bond
MI5 has been doing a lot of PR in recent years. Adverts in liberal newspapers stressing the caring, sharing side of the secret police - a little hollow if you're from the six counties or any kind of dissident.
You'd be forgiven for thinking that they're all smartly-dressed young men Googling the bad guys. For a real insight, try reading this judge's report, in which he details MI5's complicity in torture and refusal to be honest with government and the courts.
Just like Fleming: his books are packed with sado-masochistic torture and contempt for democracy.
You'd be forgiven for thinking that they're all smartly-dressed young men Googling the bad guys. For a real insight, try reading this judge's report, in which he details MI5's complicity in torture and refusal to be honest with government and the courts.
Just like Fleming: his books are packed with sado-masochistic torture and contempt for democracy.
Nerd heaven
Afternoon all. I've spent two hours at the Apple Store in Birmingham, taking advantage of the assistants' kindliness. My lovely new MacBook Pro is all sorted out bar transferring my iTunes from an external hard drive back onto the new machine. That's proving quite difficult - any help gratefully received…
The sun shone as I left Wolves - by the time I returned there was an inch of snow and the sky was the colour of beaten copper. Within a few minutes it turned bruise blue and snow once again swirled - though only for a few delightful moments.
Time to do some work.
The sun shone as I left Wolves - by the time I returned there was an inch of snow and the sky was the colour of beaten copper. Within a few minutes it turned bruise blue and snow once again swirled - though only for a few delightful moments.
Time to do some work.
What a wonderful Wednesday
Been for a swim with Neal.
Copying 180Gb of my music from a knackered hard drive over to my new Mac - manually. It's very slow and I'm waiting for it to fail.
Then instead of gardening - the original plan - I'm off to Brum to the Apple shop to get the clever people to copy my settings and data over. I should then be able to start writing all the things I promised I'd write…
Anyone else see the hedge fund trader on Newsnight last night? He basically suggested that the Greeks should be left to starve because the bond markets don't like the Greek economy. Nevermind that the bond markets gave AAA ratings to the banks which went bust, leading to governments getting into massive debts to save them - government bonds have now been downgraded by these same bastards, which means governments have to pay even more money when they borrow.
When the revolution comes, I'm going to fire the first shots through their Blackberries and into their cold black hearts.
Copying 180Gb of my music from a knackered hard drive over to my new Mac - manually. It's very slow and I'm waiting for it to fail.
Then instead of gardening - the original plan - I'm off to Brum to the Apple shop to get the clever people to copy my settings and data over. I should then be able to start writing all the things I promised I'd write…
Anyone else see the hedge fund trader on Newsnight last night? He basically suggested that the Greeks should be left to starve because the bond markets don't like the Greek economy. Nevermind that the bond markets gave AAA ratings to the banks which went bust, leading to governments getting into massive debts to save them - government bonds have now been downgraded by these same bastards, which means governments have to pay even more money when they borrow.
When the revolution comes, I'm going to fire the first shots through their Blackberries and into their cold black hearts.
Tuesday, 9 February 2010
Hurrah. And Boo.
Hurrah! New MacBook Pro has arrived. It's lovely.
Boo! The old one is too old to handily copy everything over. Must go to Apple shop tomorrow.
Boo! Rumour has it the MacBook Pros are being upgraded tomorrow. This is typical of me…
Boo! The old one is too old to handily copy everything over. Must go to Apple shop tomorrow.
Boo! Rumour has it the MacBook Pros are being upgraded tomorrow. This is typical of me…
Swoon to Ada Lovelace (and Babbage)
What's cool? A Canadian woman's ongoing steampunk comic of Babbage and Ada Lovelace, early Victorian inventors of computing and crimefighters (ahem), that's what. Babbage was a proper academic (i.e. he never managed to build any of his Difference Engines, despite raising the cash) and Ada was the first geek software developer. And Byron's daughter.
Start here - the original strip.
Start here - the original strip.
How to PROPERLY reform your university
This is the Aberdeen model, and it sounds good:
1. Consult widely rather than impose
2. Take your time
3. Be radical
4. Spend lots of money
5. Be ambitious
6. Don't sack lots of people - recruit them.
1. Consult widely rather than impose
2. Take your time
3. Be radical
4. Spend lots of money
5. Be ambitious
6. Don't sack lots of people - recruit them.
The responses from industry, politicians, students, parents and staff were remarkably similar. The ideal graduate was "intellectually flexible", a critical thinker and a team player; someone who could see their discipline in a wider context; someone who was, above all, employable.
Support your local palaeographer
The UK's last Chair of Palaeography is being sacked.
So what, you may ask. Or, what? Palaeography is the study and decoding of ancient texts, from Beowulf to the Rosetta Stone. It's important to all the other disciplines - law, history, English, religion, everything. But it isn't sexy, so even posh places like King's College London are dumping it, leaving us all poorer. Without palaeography, even the partial text of Beowulf my students will study on Friday wouldn't be comprehensible.
There's a Facebook page for those of you who are so inclined, or you can contact the Principal of King's College London. If you're handwriting's bad enough, they'll have to employ a palaeographer to decipher it!
Even if you don't care about this specific subject, we need to resist the juggernaut - led by both political parties - to allow 'non-vocational' subjects to die. We are more than worker drones, and humanities are part of what makes us civilised.
So what, you may ask. Or, what? Palaeography is the study and decoding of ancient texts, from Beowulf to the Rosetta Stone. It's important to all the other disciplines - law, history, English, religion, everything. But it isn't sexy, so even posh places like King's College London are dumping it, leaving us all poorer. Without palaeography, even the partial text of Beowulf my students will study on Friday wouldn't be comprehensible.
There's a Facebook page for those of you who are so inclined, or you can contact the Principal of King's College London. If you're handwriting's bad enough, they'll have to employ a palaeographer to decipher it!
Even if you don't care about this specific subject, we need to resist the juggernaut - led by both political parties - to allow 'non-vocational' subjects to die. We are more than worker drones, and humanities are part of what makes us civilised.
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