Showing posts with label finance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label finance. Show all posts
Wednesday, 24 March 2010
Sunday, 14 March 2010
Tory Scum Hate The Poor: proof
A particularly evil group of financiers stalk the poorer countries, known as Vulture Funds. They realised that massive (i.e. multibillion) loans given to the developing world, especially to dictatorships, as part of the Cold War won't ever be repaid, and bought the debts from the banks for pennies in the pound.
Then they sue the governments of starving countries (Cameroon, Zambia, Nicaragua) for the full amount and Western courts always rule in their favour. So the debts we've always campaigned to forgive are out of our hands. Money which could be spent on food, education or healthcare is spent on court fees and interest payments.
To their credit, the current American and British governments are fed up with this bloodsucking and are trying to stop 'champerty' (purchasing debts solely to litigate) and it was all going swimmingly until the Conservative Party got involved.
Yes, cuddly, green, caring Cameron's party decided to put a stop to this outrageous charity. In shocking scenes in Parliament last week, three Tory MPs huddled together. Heads down - so that they couldn't be identified by the voters who definitely didn't put them in place to screw the poor - one of them shouted 'object', which is all it took to end the passage of the bill. Millions of people condemned to sickness, poverty and an early death to benefit some (mostly American, tax-avoiding) billionaires whose only skill is to hire a lawyer.
Who was this MP? Only three Conservatives had bothered to attend - clearly the other several hundred just don't care about world poverty rather than actively support it. The vampire 3 (two of whom are Party officials) are:
Christopher Chope (Christchurch - masterminded the Poll Tax and the sale of council housing)
Andrew Robathan (Blaby, Deputy Chief Whip)
Simon Burns (Chelsmford West)
There's an election coming up. Even if you are a Conservative, these three deserve the sack simply for this one act of motiveless evil, and for their cowardice.
(If you are a Tory MP and unsure of how to vote, forget your pro-apartheid 1980s stance and ask yourself this: where does Desmond Tutu stand on this issue? If you're against him, you're wrong).
This meanness of spirit is what it truly means to be a Tory.
Then they sue the governments of starving countries (Cameroon, Zambia, Nicaragua) for the full amount and Western courts always rule in their favour. So the debts we've always campaigned to forgive are out of our hands. Money which could be spent on food, education or healthcare is spent on court fees and interest payments.
To their credit, the current American and British governments are fed up with this bloodsucking and are trying to stop 'champerty' (purchasing debts solely to litigate) and it was all going swimmingly until the Conservative Party got involved.
Yes, cuddly, green, caring Cameron's party decided to put a stop to this outrageous charity. In shocking scenes in Parliament last week, three Tory MPs huddled together. Heads down - so that they couldn't be identified by the voters who definitely didn't put them in place to screw the poor - one of them shouted 'object', which is all it took to end the passage of the bill. Millions of people condemned to sickness, poverty and an early death to benefit some (mostly American, tax-avoiding) billionaires whose only skill is to hire a lawyer.
Who was this MP? Only three Conservatives had bothered to attend - clearly the other several hundred just don't care about world poverty rather than actively support it. The vampire 3 (two of whom are Party officials) are:
Christopher Chope (Christchurch - masterminded the Poll Tax and the sale of council housing)
Andrew Robathan (Blaby, Deputy Chief Whip)
Simon Burns (Chelsmford West)
There's an election coming up. Even if you are a Conservative, these three deserve the sack simply for this one act of motiveless evil, and for their cowardice.
(If you are a Tory MP and unsure of how to vote, forget your pro-apartheid 1980s stance and ask yourself this: where does Desmond Tutu stand on this issue? If you're against him, you're wrong).
This meanness of spirit is what it truly means to be a Tory.
Stats for students
Job losses at The Hegemon: c. 160
Clawback in pounds for misreporting student completions: 7.5 millions
Courses and modules available: many fewer
Class sizes: ever higher
Vice-Chancellor's pay: £228,000
V-C's pay 5 years ago: £140,000 approx
Increase: roughly 60%
Verdict: reward for failure.
Clawback in pounds for misreporting student completions: 7.5 millions
Courses and modules available: many fewer
Class sizes: ever higher
Vice-Chancellor's pay: £228,000
V-C's pay 5 years ago: £140,000 approx
Increase: roughly 60%
Verdict: reward for failure.
Wednesday, 24 February 2010
You think you've got problems?
Most of you probably don't pay much attention to Ireland except when your teams lose at rugby, football, guerilla warfare and so on.
So you'll have missed a wonderful real-life soap opera recently: TDs (=MPs) resigning because they've not been made party leader in their first year, the Minister of Defence resigning in disgrace, the Minister for Potatoes resigning in disgrace, another TD resigning in a huff, all the banks going bust, the Prime Minister admitting that he regularly carried round suitcases of cash donated by property developers (while he was the Finance Minister he claims not to have had a bank account, the former Prime Minister who imported weapons for the IRA, who owned an island, a fleet of helicopters which he used to visit his shirtmaker in Paris and a €45 million estate while earning £IR3500 and tapped the phones of opponents and journalists… loads more.
The problem is that because it's next door and white, nobody thinks of Ireland as a postcolonial nation. In reality, it's just like the other colonies you were thrown out of: a foreign élite was replaced by an incredibly tight group of people who controlled the government, the judiciary, the law, business, industry, education and local government. They all went to Trinity College Dublin or UCD after attending two or three schools. The little people don't and never have got a look-in. Their job is to vote for the party their great-grandparents fought for in the Civil War (Fianna Fail, who accepted what the British gave them, or Fine Gael, who liked what the British gave them) without regard for the rotten economic and political state of the country.
The politicians are the bankers are the developers are the businessmen are the clergy are the politicians and round and round it goes in a carousel of complacency, greed and selfishness.
While minor weirdoes resign, have any ministers, developers or bankers gone to prison or really paid for their mistakes or crimes? No. No they haven't.
In the words of a recent Kenyan government minister: 'Now it is our turn to eat'. In Ireland, it's potato blight for most and banquets for a few. 'Twas ever thus.
So you'll have missed a wonderful real-life soap opera recently: TDs (=MPs) resigning because they've not been made party leader in their first year, the Minister of Defence resigning in disgrace, the Minister for Potatoes resigning in disgrace, another TD resigning in a huff, all the banks going bust, the Prime Minister admitting that he regularly carried round suitcases of cash donated by property developers (while he was the Finance Minister he claims not to have had a bank account, the former Prime Minister who imported weapons for the IRA, who owned an island, a fleet of helicopters which he used to visit his shirtmaker in Paris and a €45 million estate while earning £IR3500 and tapped the phones of opponents and journalists… loads more.
The problem is that because it's next door and white, nobody thinks of Ireland as a postcolonial nation. In reality, it's just like the other colonies you were thrown out of: a foreign élite was replaced by an incredibly tight group of people who controlled the government, the judiciary, the law, business, industry, education and local government. They all went to Trinity College Dublin or UCD after attending two or three schools. The little people don't and never have got a look-in. Their job is to vote for the party their great-grandparents fought for in the Civil War (Fianna Fail, who accepted what the British gave them, or Fine Gael, who liked what the British gave them) without regard for the rotten economic and political state of the country.
The politicians are the bankers are the developers are the businessmen are the clergy are the politicians and round and round it goes in a carousel of complacency, greed and selfishness.
While minor weirdoes resign, have any ministers, developers or bankers gone to prison or really paid for their mistakes or crimes? No. No they haven't.
In the words of a recent Kenyan government minister: 'Now it is our turn to eat'. In Ireland, it's potato blight for most and banquets for a few. 'Twas ever thus.
Own goal
UEFA thinks your team may go bust. While the FA and the Premier League have expressed absolutely no concern at all about Manchester United's £716 million debt (this is a sports team, remember, not a pension fund or developing country) and Liverpool's £400 million, UEFA is concerned that debt funding distorts competition and may lead to financial disaster.
The figures are stunning. They looked at 732 European teams' finances and discovered that 18 Premiership teams (Portsmouth and West Ham owe hundreds of millions more, but weren't counted because their financial difficulties led to withdrawal of their UEFA licences) owe more money than all the other 714 clubs put together. These teams owe €4.5 billion - 56% of the European total.
Of course, Portsmouth and West Ham's difficulties mark a significant wrinkle: they owe a small amount compared with Liverpool and Man United, but creditors are going to be much more lenient with a global brand name, whereas smaller teams will be encouraged, then ruthlessly punished for their hubris. This is perhaps the biggest problem: it means that the glamour teams can buy whoever they want and distort competitions whereas aspirational clubs won't be able to invest in players and resources by raising money on the financial markets, and therefore won't be able to challenge top teams.
UEFA's solution is the Financial Fair Play system, which requires teams to break even from 2012-13: this would stop clubs going bust, but wouldn't prevent distortion - clubs could still attract Moneybags to shovel cash in their direction (like Abramovich) as long as a return wasn't expected.
I'd like to institute the purest Marxist system going - that of the American NFL. It's helped by their college draft system of course, but I'm sure we could work something out. They have a wage cap per team, and the bottom teams get first pick of the new intake - which might make for more interesting seasons too.
I think Stoke's OK - it lost £3m last year, which isn't disastrous. The owner and manager are canny individuals who seem to balance financial responsibility with ambition. Football clubs aren't all financial vehicles like Man U - some will remain community clubs, and others (unfortunately for some) are playthings for rich wankers.
Remember the old proverb: to make millions from football, start with billions and buy a club.
The figures are stunning. They looked at 732 European teams' finances and discovered that 18 Premiership teams (Portsmouth and West Ham owe hundreds of millions more, but weren't counted because their financial difficulties led to withdrawal of their UEFA licences) owe more money than all the other 714 clubs put together. These teams owe €4.5 billion - 56% of the European total.
Of course, Portsmouth and West Ham's difficulties mark a significant wrinkle: they owe a small amount compared with Liverpool and Man United, but creditors are going to be much more lenient with a global brand name, whereas smaller teams will be encouraged, then ruthlessly punished for their hubris. This is perhaps the biggest problem: it means that the glamour teams can buy whoever they want and distort competitions whereas aspirational clubs won't be able to invest in players and resources by raising money on the financial markets, and therefore won't be able to challenge top teams.
UEFA's solution is the Financial Fair Play system, which requires teams to break even from 2012-13: this would stop clubs going bust, but wouldn't prevent distortion - clubs could still attract Moneybags to shovel cash in their direction (like Abramovich) as long as a return wasn't expected.
I'd like to institute the purest Marxist system going - that of the American NFL. It's helped by their college draft system of course, but I'm sure we could work something out. They have a wage cap per team, and the bottom teams get first pick of the new intake - which might make for more interesting seasons too.
I think Stoke's OK - it lost £3m last year, which isn't disastrous. The owner and manager are canny individuals who seem to balance financial responsibility with ambition. Football clubs aren't all financial vehicles like Man U - some will remain community clubs, and others (unfortunately for some) are playthings for rich wankers.
Remember the old proverb: to make millions from football, start with billions and buy a club.
Thursday, 18 February 2010
Penny for Guy
Pity poor Guy Hands. The multimillionaire (possibly billionaire) financier and owner of EMI records (which has just decided to flog off Abbey Road studios) has sobbingly detailed the loneliness of his personal life:
Poor little Guy. Cut off from his parents and children. Denied the joys of Britain's high streets, rolling hills and myriad leisure opportunities. He can't even sue people in Britain because it might involve being in the country for over 90 days.
Why must he endure this misery? Is he a dissident? On the run from an oppressive state? Er, no. He doesn't want to pay the top rate of tax, so he's emigrated. He's taken the principled, brave and noble decision to spend more time with his money than with his wife, parents or children. Those poor kids - second best to a bank account - though I can't help thinking that with values like that, they're better off being exposed to a range of other people.
Doesn't your heart bleed? He's an asset-stripping scumbag who's brought EMI to its knees and used his expensive Oxford education to toil for Nomura and Goldman Sacks - the vampires of the global economy, and yet there's not the slightest sign that he considers himself part of any community other than that of the selfish ultra-rich.
“Because two of my children are still school age, my wife and they remain at our former family home in Kent when school terms are in session,” he said in his declaration. “I have never visited them there since April 1, 2009. They and my other two adult children visit me at our home in Guernsey.”
“I do not visit the United Kingdom for medical treatment and would not do so except on an emergency basis. I do not visit my parents in the United Kingdom and would not do so except in an emergency.”
Poor little Guy. Cut off from his parents and children. Denied the joys of Britain's high streets, rolling hills and myriad leisure opportunities. He can't even sue people in Britain because it might involve being in the country for over 90 days.
Why must he endure this misery? Is he a dissident? On the run from an oppressive state? Er, no. He doesn't want to pay the top rate of tax, so he's emigrated. He's taken the principled, brave and noble decision to spend more time with his money than with his wife, parents or children. Those poor kids - second best to a bank account - though I can't help thinking that with values like that, they're better off being exposed to a range of other people.
Doesn't your heart bleed? He's an asset-stripping scumbag who's brought EMI to its knees and used his expensive Oxford education to toil for Nomura and Goldman Sacks - the vampires of the global economy, and yet there's not the slightest sign that he considers himself part of any community other than that of the selfish ultra-rich.
Wednesday, 10 February 2010
What a wonderful Wednesday
Been for a swim with Neal.
Copying 180Gb of my music from a knackered hard drive over to my new Mac - manually. It's very slow and I'm waiting for it to fail.
Then instead of gardening - the original plan - I'm off to Brum to the Apple shop to get the clever people to copy my settings and data over. I should then be able to start writing all the things I promised I'd write…
Anyone else see the hedge fund trader on Newsnight last night? He basically suggested that the Greeks should be left to starve because the bond markets don't like the Greek economy. Nevermind that the bond markets gave AAA ratings to the banks which went bust, leading to governments getting into massive debts to save them - government bonds have now been downgraded by these same bastards, which means governments have to pay even more money when they borrow.
When the revolution comes, I'm going to fire the first shots through their Blackberries and into their cold black hearts.
Copying 180Gb of my music from a knackered hard drive over to my new Mac - manually. It's very slow and I'm waiting for it to fail.
Then instead of gardening - the original plan - I'm off to Brum to the Apple shop to get the clever people to copy my settings and data over. I should then be able to start writing all the things I promised I'd write…
Anyone else see the hedge fund trader on Newsnight last night? He basically suggested that the Greeks should be left to starve because the bond markets don't like the Greek economy. Nevermind that the bond markets gave AAA ratings to the banks which went bust, leading to governments getting into massive debts to save them - government bonds have now been downgraded by these same bastards, which means governments have to pay even more money when they borrow.
When the revolution comes, I'm going to fire the first shots through their Blackberries and into their cold black hearts.
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
Ursine Arboreal Fertilisation Shocker
I know this is very hard to believe, but bear with me.
According to the International Monetary Fund, which seems to be having a quick break from bullying poor countries, banks and associated financial organisations which spend tons of money lobbying governments to tilt the playing field in their favour, aren't very good at their core business (i.e. making money). Even more shocking, they behave more recklessly with other peoples' money than organisations which don't spend their time trying to rig the market!
Who'd have thought that a bunch of tricky short-term buck-chasers could behave in such a way?
According to the International Monetary Fund, which seems to be having a quick break from bullying poor countries, banks and associated financial organisations which spend tons of money lobbying governments to tilt the playing field in their favour, aren't very good at their core business (i.e. making money). Even more shocking, they behave more recklessly with other peoples' money than organisations which don't spend their time trying to rig the market!
The study, entitled A Fistful of Dollars: Lobbying and the Financial Crisis, published by the IMF, reveals a stark correlation between lobbying by lenders and high loan-to-income loans.
The paper, written by a trio of high-profile IMF economists, established that firms who spend more on buying access to politicians are more likely to engage in risky securitisation of their loan books, have faster-growing mortgage loan portfolios as well as poorer share performance and larger loan defaults.
Highlighting 33 pieces of federal legislation that would have tamed predatory lending or introduced more responsible banking but were the target of intense lobbying, the IMF found that the efforts by banks to resist the legislation overwhelmingly succeeded.
Who'd have thought that a bunch of tricky short-term buck-chasers could behave in such a way?
Tuesday, 4 November 2008
The power of blogging?
Is Robert Peston the man who broke banks by blogging discussions about solutions to the banking crisis on his BBC site (he's the BBC Economics Correspondent)? The Daily Mail thinks so, but that's because it a) hates the BBC, b) is the world's worst newspaper and c) has no understanding of economics or the real world. If a single journalist can cause panic in the finance market, then the system is even weaker than we thought…
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