Wanker of the Week

Nominated by Kate: Steve Penk, the DJ who played one of my favourite songs, 'Jump' by Van Halen, because he was annoyed that a woman was delaying traffic by threatening to do just that, from a bridge.

I seem to remember a story last year in which a Chinese man actually pushed a potential jumper from a bridge because he considered the man to be an attention-seeker.

Mmm, empathetic.

Your suggestions please

Using office materials and/or toenails, what's the quickest way to commit hara-kiri and end the pain of administration?