Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts

Thursday, 24 October 2013

My So-Called Teen Life

Ok, so tomorrow I'm off to the funeral of my friend Matthew, at which I'm giving the eulogy. Because I'm essentially shallow and have soaked up too much mid-90s popular culture, my mind wandered from the funereal to Buffy The Vampire Slayer, in particular the episode delivered entirely as a musical.

Here's Buffy's aria 'Life's A Show': the actor isn't a great singer but it's pretty impressive nonetheless.



Yes, like the entire show, it's an allegory for teenage alienation. I loved Buffy, even when it got a bit preachy. Despite hating musicals, I was transfixed by an entire episode in the genre – the first time this kind of thing had been done on mainstream TV. I just liked the idea of playing with genre - very smart. Similarly, I warmed to Melrose Place when I read that the designers were in cahoots with an art collective to dress the sets with unexpected items: paintings of massacre sites, a duvet patterned with the molecular structure of an abortifacient - little things like that.



Not that I ever watched Melrose Place, to be honest. I was too busy soaking up whatever BBC2 showed at 6 o'clock before they got snobby. Westerns, Star Trek (not TNG), Quantum Leap, Blossom, My So-Called Life, Degrassi Junior High, The Phil Silvers Show and a whole lot else besides. Pretty much entirely American (Degrassi was Canadian) and certainly part of the Hollywood sausage machine which strongly implied that teenage life in America was sparkling on the outside and thoroughly miserable on the inside. The answer, every time, was to 'be yourself', which is pretty much meaningless even before I later discovered the decentred subject. Presumably the infestation of TV with teen angst movies is a manifestation of social unease with the erosion of the self. Adults are easy: by then you can perform a stable self on TV by blowing someone away, engaging warp speed or (if you're female) having a middle-class career and children (later on, perhaps even by having sex and not feeling guilty about it). But for the teens, it's a more pressing issue: adults trying to impose a deterministic selfhood on you and treating the instability of identity as a problem, not a solution.



Looking back, I was a sucker for thinly-disguised educational (hegemonic, ideological) material. No doubt if I'd been an American teenager I'd have dealt with the daily routine of jocks and killing sprees  with wisecracks and complaint rock, just like my TV heroes. Perhaps resenting the social pressure to become socially-integrated as a coherent subject is why I identified with the slippery characters: the ones who came to a bad end in the teen dramas, or the wily Bilko in The Phil Silvers Show, the classic trickster who always beat the institution oppressing him – in his case, the army which prefers rigid social structures to his capitalist anarchism. Here's Bilko's Bopster, in which the eponymous hero comes to term with the jazz hipster generation:



Too many of the teen shows, perhaps all, were carnivalesque: they promised a certain amount of leeway for wayward kids as long as it was understood that they'd shape up in the end: get a job, learn to express their feelings, do well in school or at least become reliable, predictable figures. Certainly they never had any concrete feelings about the social structure: politics was off the menu. Instead, their job was to adjust themselves to a world whose levers were forever beyond reach. It was, in fact, a variant of self-help literature. The kids would object to some social problem, perhaps do something to help the local situation, then integrate lessons into their 'real' selves.



Buffy, for instance, spent several series learning that she had to accept her destiny as the Chosen One, then the rest saving the town from 'evil'.



(Can't find any unadulterated clips for posting, so I'm exposing you to the true horror of fan tributes with tear-jerking music)

It was more sophisticated and knowing than most, but Propp would have had no problem fitting it into the Morphology. The rest eschewed the supernatural in favour of an unconvincing realism in which the default solution to any situation (divorce, coming out, bullying, anger) was a cuddly blanket of liberalism and good intentions – no character ever challenged capitalism, or sexual identity as a fundamental component of identity, for instance. A bit of quirkiness is permitted: rejection is not.



Instead, the disaffected teen would – by the end of the episode or in more ambitious cases, by the end of the series – discover their 'true' selves, which coincidentally enough, fits into a narrow trajectory of bourgeois success: just look at Smallville.

So basically, all these characters were Judas goats for globalised teenagers anywhere: soft power writ large. I didn't watch much UK teen TV because it was so familiar. Who wants to watch some friendless loser get beaten up in a fictional comprehensive school when I could experience the real thing from a first-person perspective on a daily basis… in 3D Punchovision too. Sunny Californian teen angst felt so much more significant than my usual routine of having books ripped out of my hands ('are you some kind of poof?') and being mock-executed for not owning a pair of Kickers.

What's the result? Apathetic apolitical losers whose idea of a good time is to get nostalgic about whatever culturally-negligible mush was on TV when they were at school (for a perfect example of where it gets you, watch The Big Bang Theory in which the supporting cast – including Blossom – are survivors of 80s and 90s teen entertainment, pressed into the service of a viciously conservative project).

Damn it. That includes me.

Friday, 25 January 2013

A spot of TV criticism

Because my brain hurt last night and I lacked the mental energy to change channel, I found myself watching The Big Bang Theory. Now, I've already rehearsed my objections to the show: basically, it's 1950s mother-in-law and ' 'er indoors' jokes disguised by super-hero t-shirts and equations.



But last night's episode hit rock-bottom in writing terms. A young couple are at the dinner table with her parents. An unappealing social event is proposed, and the young man says to his partner 'But what about that thing we're doing?'. She replies, 'The thing? I cancelled it', and he's trapped.

A small thing (literally) you might think. But it isn't. It's the sound of barrels being scraped. How many times have you heard the phrase being used in poor quality TV and film dialogue? I'm very surprised to learn that there's no TV Trope devoted to it. Time to start one - your submissions welcome. Seriously, if your script leaves you with no other option than to reach for one of the most familiar clichés in popular culture, throw it away. Start again. Ask someone else to start again, in fact.

At least Family Guy tries to add some energy to it with minor transgression:
Brian Griffin: Uhh, I don't think that's going to be a possibility, uhhh, I have plans, with Chris! Chris and I have plans this afternoon!
Chris Griffin: [Chris walks by] We do?
Brian Griffin: Yeah, yeah! We're doing that thing, we're doing what you usually do on a Thursday afternoon!
Chris Griffin: Masturbate?
Brian Griffin: That's it, that's what we're going to do together.

Here's a tip, scriptwriters. If you find yourself typing 'you know, the thing' or anything similar, consider buying a ticket to Switzerland and a Dignitas voucher. Because artistically, you're already there.

Monday, 6 July 2009

Popular Culture rears its ugly head

Ewarwoowar, who has an encyclopaedic knowledge of popular culture, is on about children's TV today - nostalgics should head over there. I didn't watch much, but must admit to enjoying Press Gang on many levels.

That's by the by: what I meant to mention was that Ewarwoowar directs our attention to Garfield Minus Garfield. I always hated Garfield - one-joke nonsense. Someone has a lazy, greedy cat. Garfield Minus Garfield, however, is wonderful. Without the recurrently lame punchline, there's a minimalist, Zen-like and even poignant quality to his owner's life which is entirely lacking in the original. Is this one of the rare cases (perhaps Cheers/Frasier) where the 'remix' or pastiche transcends the original? I definitely think this qualifies as art.

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

'ello 'ello 'ello

Last night I watched ITV! Worse than that, I watched In the Line of Fire, a fly-on-the-wall 'documentary' about CO19, the Metropolitan Police's armed squad. It was clearly part of the coppers' post-Menezes PR push, so I was curious to see how they'd deal with that episode. In the end, it was handled with kid gloves - the critical comments weren't presented by the narrator but relegated to clips from news broadcasts and pictures of newspaper hoardings - as though the narrator couldn't bring himself to utter any criticism of the police. The head of CO19 was filmed giving his position without any questions - so there was no chance to challenge him. No mention at all was made of the jury's decision to disbelieve key police claims about the circumstances of the shooting. 

The effect, therefore, was to remove any credibility: this wasn't a documentary, it was a hagiography, shading into propaganda. No doubt the circumstances of gaining access to the squad implicitly required a positive spin, but the whole exercise smacks of a concerted public relations exercise on behalf of the police, and of spineless, lazy TV programming by a media which is becoming increasingly rightwing. I was quite amused to see India 99 appear on the show - it's the police helicopter which has its own show, Sky Cops on the BBC. That's a postmodern moment. Will the In The Line Of Fire incident appear in the next series of the Jamie Theakston-narrated show? Are there any police cars without a TV crew? 

I do think that this mindless deification of the police across all channels for the sake of exciting pictures of 'goodies' v. 'baddies' is dangerous. There's never any questioning of policing methods (why are they all in cars?) Aren't they ever wrong? If anyone remembers the Guildford 4, Birmingham 6, West Midlands Serious Crime Squad, Miners' Strike or any of the peace, poll tax, anti-capitalism, anti-war or anti-racism protests, you'll know that policing is (and always has been) far more nuanced. More than that, these shows promulgate the idea that crime is a matter of 'good' working class people protecting 'us' from 'bad' working class people - devoid of social context. I don't remember any shows following the activities of the Serious Fraud Office or any of the other operations going after white-collar crime - though perhaps that's because such operations are usually failures. It's far easier to pretend that crime is all about drunk black teenagers nicking cars and claiming too much child support rather than bankers defrauding us all of billions of pounds.

Friday, 19 December 2008

Educate, Inform and Entertain

The Daily Star featured Gary Glitter on its front page the other day - something like PAEDO HORROR GLITTER TAKES BUS (really - apparently cab drivers won't take him). Over a few beers, we wondered how Chris Morris would update his famous (infamous?) paedophilia episode. Here's what we came up with:
The Paedo-Files - not sure what the show would be, but it's a good pun.
I'm a Celebrity Paedo Get Me Out Of Here - celebrity paedos appealing for your early release vote.
Celebrity Paedo Big Brother: a 7 year old (some kind of Romanian orphan or one in the 'care' of Haringey Social Services, ie somebody nobody will miss) sits in the centre of the CPBB house, surrounded by CCTV cameras, watching Gary Glitter, Chris Langham and a selection of other internationally-famous pop stars and film directors who've been acquitted or never charged solve puzzles which get them further round the maze leading to said orphan's room. C4 are no doubt filming it now.

Coming soon: Paedo! Which closely-modelled-on-a-celebrity character committed unspeakable acts, with what implements, in which room? Family fun for all the family (not for under 18s).