Thursday 23 July 2009

Warning - maudlin rambling

In his cups last night, young Daniel asked me what was my experience of being 17 years old, which piqued my interest.

In many ways, I'm the same. I read a lot then, I read a lot now. I didn't go out much, or have a girlfriend. I was, on the other hand, a lot thinner and had a good deal more hair.

That year was weird. I was in the sixth-form of my third - and worst - high school, a boarding establishment called Belmont Abbey in Hereford, a small and unpleasant city in beautiful countryside near the Welsh border. This particular establishment was attached to a Benedictine monastery, and several of the monks still 'taught' there, using the time-honoured methods of sarcasm, occasional violence and a determination never to engage in debate - I began to think that my forename was Shutup.

The architecture was proof that planning laws are wide open to corruption. The fairly decent church and monastery buildings (late Victorian) were surrounded by ugly, badly-built 1970s blocks, all leaking windows, varnished dark wood and concrete. Sound travelled, and decoration was kept to a minimum.

We were divided into houses named after various Catholic attention-seekers, each one ruled by the kind of man who thinks that dominating small boys is the pinnacle of success. Some of these monks were alcoholic, some bullies, some social climbers - a few were even contemplative, kind individuals, though these latter were usually kept well away from us (amongst the latter, the pottery teacher, Brother Peter and the former Abbot, Dom Alan, who was too kind to keep his job as headteacher, and who killed himself a few years later).

My housemaster, who had formerly had some kind of attachment to the SAS, had a spectacular alcohol-related public breakdown in the dining hall and was led away, not to be seen again for several years - the place attracted the frightened, lost and weak, such as the lovely RE teacher whom we regularly carried back to his lodgings, prising the empty whisky bottles from his hands. He was replaced by the headmaster, an unreasonable bigot who truly thought that outwitting teenagers proved that he was some kind of intellectual. One of the many problems with these people (most of whom should never have been teachers and could never have gained jobs in the state sector), was that they were so unpredictable: pleasant one day, violent or capricious the next. They played favourites, picked scapegoats, humiliated in public those who didn't fit in.

The house system was meant to instil respect for hierarchy and team spirit - half the sixth-form had minor authority, which in reality encouraged the boys to engage in the kind of bullying they saw from the staff. Badges, ties and accommodation became currency or marks of achievement. For no reason at all, other than my preference for reading over standing in the rain watching rugby and my conversion to vegetarianism, I was expelled from my study and sent to share a dormitory with the 12-year olds (dubious in child protection terms but that was never one of their concerns). Concomitant with that demotion came earlier rises, back to cleaning duties, eating with the kids, manual labour at the command of my classmates and a host of petty humiliations.

What other vignettes spring to mind? A boy biting another's penis when his shorts fell down during a rugby scrum. Rumours of homosexuality and constant, relentless baiting of the only person I knew who might actually be homosexual. Racialised hostility between the various groups. Petty theft. The awareness that we were different, alien to those on the streets. A school which sold its library books (a clerical ally 'dropped' the keys near me on the night before the buyers came and so I 'acquired' a couple of barrowloads of decent books). The constant boredom and discomfort. Suspicion of anybody who thought differently. I was attacked in a class by the headmaster for being a 'bloody Guardian reader'. I'd never heard of the Guardian, and promptly bought a copy: it changed my life to know that outside those walls were people who believed in humanity's essential goodness. Religious fervour, or the signs of it. I sang in the choir and served on the altar, simply, I think, to break the monotony. A forced haircut delivered by two prefects on the orders of the headmaster because I had an interview at a university the next day and he wanted me to look my worst (his 'reference' described me as a troublemaker who would fail his A-levels and didn't deserve a place at all, as the kind man at Derby University told me, having expressed his surprise).

The school bore an air of exhaustion and decay. Every year, it grew smaller and shabbier. With the exception of one fencer and a brilliant rowing team, Belmont excelled at nothing. It became a haven for the unwanted, or for the dimmer sons of dubious businessmen and politicians in the more unsafe countries - there were a lot of Colombians, and in the years before China reclaimed it, many boys from Hong Kong. We rattled around and busied ourselves with small rivalries and arguments magnified by isolation. Of the outside world we learned little other than the prejudices of our families and teachers.

And yet - there was salvation. Each Saturday, I would climb out of a window and walk into the city to play in a youth orchestra, much to the school's revulsion. I wasn't any good, but those Saturdays were liquid gold to me and I would eke them out as much as possible - talking to other players; wandering round the cathedral; even sometimes trying to get served in one of the pubs not frequented by my classmates. In school, I was the mute, sullen one. I did whatever I wanted, but furtively, and accepted justice and injustice with the same silence.

Most importantly, two teachers nurtured and protected me. Michael Caswell was a caricature of the intellectual English gentleman. Dressed in shabby tweeds and a bow tie topped with a nicotine-stained goatee, he lived in a semi-derelict house in which only his books were cared for. The door was literally always open, even when he was away, and the fridge was always stocked with lager. Only the vilest bullies weren't welcome, and so it became neutral ground - many boys would sneak down there for a smoke, a drink and a chat. A few of us, of which I became the permanent member, would wander in, open a can and talk about books, art, religion, anything. The joy of Caswell is that he took everybody seriously, and yet had an infectious, enormous laugh, which would be deployed whenever we took ourselves too seriously. Each laugh would be followed by a thunderstorm of coughing as the tar of 50+ daily cigarettes took their toll. Caswell's love was 19th-century fiction, and his classes were evangelical in the sense that he cared little about rote learning: what he sought was enthusiasm. If you displayed it, he would protect, challenge and inspire you. If not, he got you through. His approach to marking was idiosyncratic, to say the least - comments on my essays ranged from 'oh for God's sake' to 'bloody brilliant' or merely huge lines of asterisks.

The other teacher who inspired me was Mike Elkin, who taught French. I was a lost cause for most of high school, partly through laziness and partly through bad teaching and boredom. He predicted a D grade for my GCSE, and I laughingly threatened to choose French for A-level should I get an A - we all fell about holding our sides. Yet, so it came to pass, and thus I entered the world of riots, sex, cigarettes and style (in books and French films, of course). He'd had a cool, chaotic life with a deal of tragedy, and saw a minor, Catholic boarding school as some kind of oasis. He had a passel of beautiful, wild children and a fiercely kind wife, and they all lived on a series of derelict farms with a menagerie of odd pets (a Vietnamese pig which would batter doors down if it wanted a fuss, a cockatoo and all sorts of other beasts). Mike had spent a year in France in 68 and wistfully recalled his time on the barricades. In many ways he was the very opposite of Caswell. Where Cas read Dickens, Mike passed me all the alternative classics - novels in French, Mervyn Peake, John Cowper Powys, and before me opened up visions of other ways of life. I had few friends at that place - alliances were preferred - but these two gave me confidence to arrive at my own beliefs, the strength to resist the petty tyrannies of this washed-up piece of the 1950s, and space to go my own way. They didn't see education as the acquisition of facts: they wanted to inspire questioning, thought and independence.

My school was, inevitably, closed down. This was announced on Radio 4's Sunday morning religious programme sometime during my first year at university. My immediate reaction was joy, followed by relief, followed by disappointment that it hadn't been sooner. (What's more emblematic of the kind of people Belmont churned out than this: a site where nostalgic old boys can buy tatty old school ties and cufflinks in memory of a circumscribed world in which they were, for the only time in their lives, important?)

Caswell went off to London to do a law degree, which he enjoyed enormously. He fell in with a bunch of East London Muslims: they tried to convert him and he tried to convert them to cigarettes and beer - and they loved him. I would visit him for wildly stimulating weekends in which we'd plan to do cultural stuff in the big city but just end up arguing joyously for hours. He then began a PhD in international child protection, but didn't attend a meeting one Monday morning - he was found in his bathroom, having had a heart attack while shaving.

His funeral was a brief, joyless affair organised by his family and attended by a bunch of former pupils present only to compare business cards and mobile phones. The wake was a gothic monstrosity - held in the house of the campest Anglo-Catholic priest you could imagine - like something from a Waugh novel. Much more to my (and his) taste, was the quiet committal. Stealing over the fence at Birkbeck College, where he'd done his law degree, we stood in the rain and poured his ashes into a hole under a tree. We toasted him with champagne, poured some over him, I said a few useless, inadequate words, and we went off to get drunk and share his books. Of him, I possess a giant cartoon of a rhinoceros head, some books packed with his indecipherable notes and stained with his good cooking, and a couple of cards.

Mike left teaching and Britain, heading to New Zealand to be a social worker, but found the divide between his Maori charges and the institutions he worked for to be insuperable and returned to the UK. Where he is now, I can't say, though I wish I knew.

What were the lasting effects of this horrific place? Ignorance, bloody-mindedness, crippling shyness, determination, an idiosyncratic (because self-taught) socialism, a 7-stone frame, probably a slight otherness, a lot of books and a very few friends with whom I lost touch fairly quickly - none of us, I suspect, wished to be reminded of that place. I had no sense of what ordinary people wore, listened to, watched or talked about. I did, though, come out determined to live a completely different life - to try things, talk to people, to learn. The effects linger, however. I'm ashamed to say that I felt nothing other than pleasure when I learned of my former headmaster's death, and that kind of bitterness helps nobody.

I can still smell the place (sweat, urine, incense, cabbage and disinfectant), envisage the gleam of weak sunlight on cheap polished wood, still hear the clock chime, every fifteen minutes. Don't send your kids to boarding school.

126 comments:

Ewarwoowar said...

That is the most eloquent and beautiful mid-life crisis I have ever seen in my life.

Fine effort, Vole.

Dan said...

Here's hoping that Faber & Faber keep an eye on this blog. You could get a deal on 'The Monastery School Years.'

A great post.

Zoot Horn said...

What can I say. Have you read Orwell's 'Such, such were the joys'? This is better. I can smell the cabbage.

Benjamin Judge said...

Ah Vole. You are like a beautiful pearl that has emerged from the ugly clam that was your school.

I went to Hereford last year. It has impoved a bit I think but we did see a sign that said "Have you considered releasing the equity in your car?"

Kate said...

Wow! I can only copy the praise of others, beautiful, eloquent, evocative, fascinating, disturbing and heartwarming, at equal turns. A mark of great (Booker Prize worthy) prose. Write a novel, I want to read it! You're very brave to be so honest. Well, in spite of all that Voley, you're a great human being so be proud. As for boarding schools, no disrespect to your parents but I've never understood why people have children in the first place if they're determined to parcel them off and not be involved with their lives for large chunks of their formative years, but maybe I'm just strange like that! ;-) I'm off to battle with the M25 now so sadly I'll have to forego this week's Friday conundrum :-(

Sue said...

Your account of your childhood is heart wrenching. It is appalling that people are so awful to children. You write brilliantly and I am sure all your blog fans would agree that you MUST write a novel about this. It is the only way to bring public attention to the abuse that adults inflict on children.
P.S. A Mike Elkin worked as a social worker for Shropshire County PCT a few years ago ( curly hair, looked a bit looked one of the previous Dr. Who characters with long coats, and scarves. It may have been the same person). Don’t know where he is now.

The Plashing Vole said...

Sue, that's him! Must try to track him down.

I remembered another couple of details last night. I was thrown out of my study for papering it with copies of Militant, the Trotskyist newspaper. I also remember a South African boy burning his flag when Mandela was released - what a charmer.

Katherine Woodfine said...

Really enjoyed reading this

The Plashing Vole said...

Thanks Katherine - I'm quite humbled by praise from such an accomplished and natural writer. The rest of you are too kind as well.

Unknown said...

A very engaging and evocative piece Vole, even if a few of the minor details appear to be inaccurate (their singular perception of 'the truth' is the writer's eternal and deserved privilege).
I was at Cas's crem service on that day inside a very drab, municipal cemetery in Plaidstow and I don't recall comparing mobile phones or business cards. I don't recall you either I am sorry to say. I do remember the sadness of the day. Not just because Cas was gone but because his memory seemed for a moment swallowed up and subsumed by the eastern inner city sprawl of a metropolis on that cold bleak afternoon. A scene so far away from his little terraced cottage, on a little lane, in one of the most rural counties, overlooking fields of golden wheat and a coppice, that it defied comparison(it is at this stage,if he were still alive and marking me, that Cas might suggest I was being a bit pompous and flabby with my language).
One of the strange things about that service was how few Belmont old boys and girls turned up. There was a strike or train issue of some sort and most, of the few, who did want to make the service failed to turn up and went directly instead to the house in Mile End which you describe well. It was the home of a lovely man and my former history teacher, Mr Hicks, and his very odd partner an ex-CofE bishop who quit over female priests). His house(the ex-Anglican's I believe),an old Huguenot merchant's house, was gorgeous. The décor not so. He was patently obsessed with San Sebastian and had several portraits which seemed to highlight the saint's physical form and pain above other merits. I only stayed an hour because I had to get the train back to Hereford and didn't enjoy the atmosphere.It may well be here that mobile phones and cards were compared. I spent a much more content 3 hours alone with my thoughts on the way back home, thinking about Cas and what a kind, gregarious, perceptive and wonderful man he was. My abiding memory of Cas was outside Kemble House one Spring evening(named after one of those attention seekers you mentioned in passing, who was prepared to get hung drawn and quartered for the kudos of it all...I am only surprised the ex-Bishop didn't have a small painting of St'John's hanging on Widemarsh Common propped up somewhere).
I had done terribly badly in my Eng Lit. mock O level (the last year ever to take O levels) and he had told me in class what I needed to do, to do better in the actual exam or I would fail. Of course I didn't really listen at the time and he knew that. So he waited til the evening before the exam and cycled up, on his bike with only one proper pedal and with his Tesco carrier bag/briefcase dangling from his handlebars, to sit with me for an hour to make sure I understood what he was trying to get across and to make sure I achieved what he thought I might be capable of, if I listened and understood. I remember absently looking out of my study window at the slanted, warm May evening sunlight, firing the pink and white cherry blossoms with an intense, deep backlight and casting long shadows on the asphalt and grass and being so struck by the beauty of that particular moment in my mind's eye. It's one of those images of still beauty you notice when you see it suddenly for that brief moment and remember for life, no matter how young you are. I also remember looking at the trees and shadows and thinking.."I am fucked tomorrow" (exam wise).
Then this, true saint, wobbled up on his old Chinese style tredder, parked it against a bollard and made his way casually up to my house's doors and up the stairs and down the corridor to my room. He talked, I listened, I got an A.
I am so glad Vole that you have the circular rhino pic, you don't know how much sustenance that gives me to know it is safe and loved, I had visions of it sticking out of a skip when his family cleared his rooms.
Thank you for re-igniting memories of a most wonderful teacher and unique man.
harringtonjj@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

You weren't exaggerating Vole, Gormenghast doesn't do it justice. Elks, Cas and a kindly few others made it bearable, sometimes even fun.

Thanks for being a good friend and a genuinely decent person whilst we there, really glad I found your blog which I'll be following.

Andrew Matthews said...

I was at Belmont in Kemble house from 1969-74. It was hell on earth. I hated it. Teaching was shocking. Being closed down was best thing that ever happened to it.

Anonymous said...

The oddest thing about this blog is the reference to "my high school". No one in the independent secondary sector uses this term: it's either "my public school" or "my boarding school", or, simply "my school". Is this vole trying to connect to American readers perhaps? It's very strange.
The blog itself is a straight forward post hoc ergo propter hoc narrative of the common experience of many boarding school misfits (spiced up with weird penis-biting happenings & the sinister snip,snip accompaniment of long, greasy locks being forcibly pruned by sadistic prefects). The many references to alchoholic or homosexual masters, the draughty buildings & the smell of cabbage, & urine are all standard stuff. That ultimate solace was found in the clammy embrace of the Guardian is not a surprise & ultimate salvation on the sunlit uplands of Derby University underwhelms the reader. But what was Vole telling his family in the long, long public school holidays & exeats? Why was he returning to this torment term after term? His answer might not fit the narrative but it is a lacuna which should be filled.

Anonymous said...

Was there from 87 to 92. Again hated the place and was glad it closed down. Mike Caswell was a lovely man. Thoroughly enjoyed my English lessons with him in my second year and the rambling bridge sessions with him on weekday afternoons in my final couple of years there. Some of the teachers there were good and set me on a good path in education. A few of the pupils I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire. I'd probably throw in some petrol though.
Left in June 92 and have barely been in touch with people from there since. Won't be sending my child to boarding school either!

Anonymous said...

Interesting! I was there between 83 and 88? The housemasters, Mckenna, Tumelty, Dyfrig and latterly Bro Bernard were ok. Mcgurk was the headmaster after AN Other .

It was all a little eccentric and I often felt it was second division. The teaching is a bit of a blur, I probably didnt want to learn but none of them inspired me save perhaps for the french teacher "Wiggy" , the Latin teacher in the wheelchair and Fanny Hastain for different reasons!. I remember the morning Clehonger runs, cold showers, dreadful food with cockroaches in the cereal scoop one morning. I was not taught by Carswell.

The SFU surely wouldnt be allowed in the present day. There was the Polish groundkeeper who used to sell us benny hedgehogs at 9p a fag, John the kitchen porter who was not all there and house parties...barrels of cider and beer....and in the morning, puddles of puke!

I didnt get bullied or abused and was probably lazy. I do remember Fr Antony being a kind but at times unpredictable character but he treated you with respect and as a young adult and later in my time there we went to Effies in the city which was an honour but fun if a little camp but that was his schtick.

Fr Dyfrig always banged on about his SAS connections but not really sure if that was a bit Waltish. I quite liked the bloke and he was a good D of E leader. I only remember one covertly gay 6th former who would try and get you to go to his study but you just avoided him. Having lived in cold and draughty houses in the middle of nowhere the modern brick buildings were a relief for me!

Drinking in the Ulu bar, Spread Eagle, Moat House and a "new" bar near the station . Everytime I hear Madonna "like a virgin" it takes me back there....

I havent been back there since and dont keep up with any of my cohort, I am not surprised it closed, it simply was not good enough on any level to compete back then. Then the recession in the early 90s hit and it got its just desserts.

Would I send my kids to boarding school?...no - is that due to Belmont? no, I just think life is too short and kids are too precious to send them away...even if I could afford it.

Did it affect me?...perversely it probably made me more hungry as I felt that it was I that had failed not the school but 15 years in the Parachute Regiment and a relatively ok city career so far must mean that it was on balance ok.

anonymous said...

There was no penis involved. In an inter schools 1st XV match, the forearm of an opposition player was bitten. That school complained after the match, the captain Julian Vaughan let Bev Davies know who it was, he was brought before Father Mark and banned for 3 matches. We all know there no cock action. Poetic licence.

Never heard of prefects cutting pupils hair either - although wouldn't put it past the regime of the time. We had a corrupt Italian come on site on Tuesday evenings who let you smoke in the Ethelbert toilets if you signed down you had been given a hair cut by him when you hadn't.

On a culture day outing I did something so publicly stupid that if Caswell had told the monks I would undoubtedly have been expelled. The old slap head didn't grass me up - legend.

Vole you didn't mention Bro John Kinsey and whilst we are at it ex pupils might want to look up the recent Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse report on Ampleforth and Downside. Google both. I only remember the police being called when there was a school thief robbing the monks (and an elaborate sting to catch him) not when boys reported inappropriate behaviour - of which I recall two very serious incidents in my 5 years there (one of the monks involved often being crowed about on the old boy website as a "good egg" - he wasn't you f*ckwits)

anonymous said...

ps I, like Vole, was ecstatic to hear one of the monks had died - my housemaster. If there is an after life I am looking forward to the reckoning. Which adult makes a 13 year old kneel in front of them (he was a dwarf) to deliver an open palmed punch to the face? My son is 13 - he's barely got a hair on his body. Another monk fawned over on the old boys web site - a nasty spiteful repressed homosexual (I found gay literature and gay porn in his room with a fellow pupil when it was unlocked - bottom draw in his chest of draws if you are interested - under his jumpers). Observationally the "fawners" are mainly those boys he liked to entertain with "dirty" gin, sherry and nibbles after hours in their dressing gowns and pyjamas. I wonder if looking back you now realise what was going on?

Anonymous said...

VVVVVVVVV

Patrick said...

Mr Vole,
Thank you for your beautifully thoughtful observations of a man I have grown to love more in the years of absence than I did in the wonderful years in his company. I am sorry that this blog has been hijacked but I find myself here (10 years late) in my 50s and late in the evening after some gins wondering about the man whose name I type in to the tedious requests online for your favourite teacher etc etc. Mike in 1979 S Level class, Kieran, Sulls, Greaves and me in the lovely terrace cottage, a sanctuary, but not just an escape, a window, a portal into the world of free thought of the wonders of love, friendship, human kindness all interwoven through literature. The rhino picture made me smile so I'm so glad you have it and I'm also glad that you and others remained close to Mike and it is my shame that I didn't, although he was always in my thoughts.

Sadly, I still have a few essays in the loft, marked by Mike, so I have to add to the list of sarcastic comments .... Hrmph and Weeeeell! Both appear when I was stretching the point on the basis of probably not having read the text. I have to say that got me through the drinkers degree. But having been brought up in a frugal environment where books were treasured, I learned from Mike, when he threw them across the room, that books do not exist...they are words, thoughts, ideas, feelings ...un-owned the moment they leave the pen, and certainly not to be sanctified or rarified.

Mike was patient in the way he humoured the monks, never openly disrespectful, his classes were gloriously subvervise. I remember one day when the A Level class was restless, he declared today we would be considering Winnie The Pooh ... As a Communist text ...discuss. I remember evenings in the Green Dragon drinking Waddies 6X, I will always remember an evening at the cottage when a female teacher was distressed and Mike showed such care and tenderness it surprised me as a young man, and has stayed with me always.

There are so many human things I learned from Mike through observation and assimilation, but one thing has had a deep influence on the way I have approached everything in my life, from raising children, my friendships, my career, my politics, my own sense of self and that is to question everything.

I'm not on any social media and I happened across this blog because I was thinking about Mike this evening, not knowing he has been dead for near ten years. How strange, I have thought about him many times in the intervening years, not knowing that.

So, not knowing how these things work, I guess, Vole, you have moved on from this post, and it exists only as some strange distant past moment that was ....then. What I know is for me it was a beautiful eulogy to a man I knew and I would like to thank you for that.

Yours,

Patrick



Anonymous said...

Dyfrig?

Anonymous said...

84 - 87

Most certainly the worst 3 years of my life.

Unrelenting bullying. Terrible teaching. I dreaded waking up each day to the horrors of the place. I spent my whole three years there in constant fear of what would happen next. Will I be kicked? Punched? Have a dead fish plastered all over my face and uniform? My head held down a toilet? Then at the end of the day have to clean the toilets/locker room.

I know I'm one of many who are still affected by the horrors of this place many years later...

Thank God it closed

Anonymous said...

I was there a decade earlier with a different cast of characters, Fr.Mark was headmaster and Bro Simon was my housemaster, equally corrupt and pandering to a handful of families who paid them off cheaply for privilege and ignoring their behaviour. Teachers,if they could be called that were mainly worthless. Unqualified monks, a "technical drawing"(back before CAD software), who was a malevolent little troll who threatened to punch me because I hummed while concentrating. I was 13 and the manchild tried to emphasize his bravado by telling me how much harm his signet ring would do, would love to have come across him a few years later.There was an English teacher we were told not to question in class, who was recovering from a nervous breakdown. All in all a miserable experience that I'm sure damaged the lives of many it was inflicted upon.

Justin said...

Hi
At Belmont in the 1960s 65/69.enjoyed this piece, it sounds as though things didn't improve much after I left. The Headmaster (Dom Hosker) eloped with his secretary. There were beatings for getting poor work grades and various other misdemeanours. We had an eccentric housemaster (Fr Wilfred)who used to sometimes ply us with whisky. I was badly bullied in my first year there. There were some good teachers, but a number of very poor ones too. Rugby was always a big thing when i was there - I never could abide it.
I remember swimming in the river Wye and interesting theatre trips to Cheltenham & Stratford. The school also staged some good productions - There was a Gilbert & Sullivan one and 'Under milk Wood'

Gemma Brotherton-Ratcliffe said...

Do any of you remember a teacher/author called Alec/Alex? My brother was at Belmont - probably from 77/78 - 81/82. There was a teacher there, who 'took a shine' to selective pupils - my brother was unfortunately one of them. He committed suicide 3 years ago - leaving behind 4 children... one of whom asked me what happened at the school. If anyone knows his story - and surname or what become of him it would nice to hear from you.

Anonymous said...

I was fascinated by your account of Belmont Abbey. My step-brother was sent there in the late 1940s, because my father couldn't be in the same room with him (father's fault, not his!). I always suspected there was something not quite right about the school. His behaviour was certainly not what I would have expected from a pupil at such a prestigious (and expensive) school. I dreaded holidays, when I would avoid being left alone with him (I was a year younger). He had little idea how to behave socially, but I heard that he married and had children. Perhaps this was the making of him, but I never had any contact. He died in the early 90s.
I fear that children who were abused in those days rarely told anyone, for fear of being disbelieved, or even punished for their "willing participation". One of my full brothers told me of the abuse he suffered at a Catholic day school in London – he had never told anyone about it, and he was in his 70s when he told me!

The Plashing Vole said...

Gemma - desperately sorry to hear about your brother and his children. A long time before me, I'm afraid, and I don't recognise that teacher's name.

Unknown said...

I went to Llandovery College 1969 _ 1976 You used to play rugby against us. I remember one occasion when I was hugely impressed. We were allowed to have long hair, scuffed shoes and dirty clothes "express ourselves". Your bus turned up for the annual match in, I think in 1973 and out came the smartest, best dressed boys I had ever seen. Short hair, polished shoes, immaculate clothes. A 1st XV guy snarled at me " what the fuck you looking at ?" Quite understandble... Despite that we still beat you at evry age level !

Anonymous said...

Belmont was a vile place where sadistic beatings and bullying were common place.

David said...

Fascinating. I was at Belmont 55-60. Things seem to have gone helter-skelter downhill since then. During my time the lay faction was restricted to two science teachers, both somewhat eccentric (from my very young perspective). The only females were the matron and some kitchen staff. I was probably too naïve to recognise the underlying problems and that, plus the fact that I surprised myself by being good at rugby, made my experiences at Belmont bearable. However, Aelred's savage Kemble regime was feared, and we all scarcely dared to draw breath when our housemaster Fr Martin (at the time there were only two houses, Cantilupe and Kemble, and for my last term Vaughan) was indisposed. His mild and restrained beatings (only once or twice in my case) were easily shrugged off; but I was beaten hard as a sixth former by the then headmaster Brendan Minney, who drew blood, and I still had the scars and stripes when I started at Sandhurst. I'll come back to this blog at a later date. At present, in the corona crisis, I am busy with my own literary efforts at http://www.davidconlin.info/

Anonymous said...

Belmont Abbey School in the late 1950`s was indeed a terrible place. Excessive beatings, physical, mental & sexual abuse by the monastic community was rife. Will comment further when I see that this initial post is published. Although, by the grace of god the school closed, the mentality of repressing free speech still prevails. I have been banned from the Belmont alumina facebook site for referring subscribers to this site ref Mike Caswell.

Anonymous said...

Belmont Abbey School, Hereford.
In the late 1950`s a truly evil & terrible place. We must give thanks to God that it closed.

Anonymous said...

Very bad people ran that school. It is is a shame that adults can treat vulnerable children in this way. It has to be said that most of the teachers were unqualified and the monks were just totally insane.

Anonymous said...

a very bad place run by very bad people, except for the lay teachers ho were decent human beings dedicated to their role as educators

Anonymous said...

I am still effected today about the treatment that we received.

Caswell was the only joy I can remember. Beatings, verbal abuse, Brother John Kingsley had me in his burgers office. I wish I had known he was getting prosecuted as I would have joined in.

Since leaving I have suffered from alcoholism, drug abuse and self loathing.

Christopher is dead, antony us dead and neither make me sad.

Frank and Dyfrig were OK or better than the rest.

I loath the place and find it surprising that so many on the old boy chat hurrah about buying colours and 1st xv shirts. All you were in cogs in brutal machine.

All I look forward to is hearing that the Upham are dead.

Fuck Belmont and the cunts if monks.

Unknown said...

Gemma, would you like to email me. harringtonjj@hotmail.com

Unknown said...

Thank you Vole. I went to Llanarth Court in 1969. I lasted 2 weeks. So homesick I went into Brother/Father Dominicz offi e kate one night to call my Mum. Brother, or is it Father?, was in there lightly dressed with the cleaner (who's son was a day boarder). 2 weeks which scarred me for life. mb555@btinternet.com

Unknown said...

Reading above has helped me very much, thanks to all. Hailing from the north, I was sent to Llanarth Court (Belmont prep school) at age 11, my older brother bring at B' Abbey. I lasted just 2 weeks and it scarred me for life. Headmaster was Brother/Father Dominic who I caught with the cleaner in his office late one night when I sneaked into his office to call my Mum (I had terrible home-sickness). I'm now 62 and still think about it on a weekly basis. mb555@btinternet.com

RAnon said...


Hi
For Gemma Brotherton-Ratcliffe. This might be what you are looking for.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alick_Rowe
Sorry to hear of yr brother and yr loss.

CRS said...

What an interesting read. I read the original post three or four years ago, quite a bit seems to have been added since then. I was at Belmont Abbey School from 88-93, I did my sixth form at Hereford Sixth form college. The boys in my year who stayed, had their A levels truncated by the schools closure.
What is ironic, I do remember boys being expelled for bullying. Bullying, stealing and what our headmaster Fr Christopher called 'queering' were capital offences in his book. Apart from the latter, boys were beaten or expelled for the others, to be fair. Things happened at school that would be considered too harsh now, but I was never bullied by any staff. I did get a slap once for messing about at choir practice, I walked out in a rather bullish way after throwing my sheet music down. I was only 12 or 13. I found it all quite funny really. And I did receive an appoligy. I went on a fantastic choir tour of Italy in 89, and I seem to remember getting another slap in a church in Rome for pissing about. Again not a buggy for me. I was a kid who had more bounce than zebbidie!
Well I am going to bowl a complete googly here. I was saddened by the schools closure, but also that some of the boys were unhappy there. I was glad that I left to do my sixth form years elsewhere though. The change of scene did me good. Also may I say to the chap that used the word 'walt.' Dead giveaway. I did a short while in the Army too.

Philip Cabuzet said...

I was banned from the Belmont Facebook site for referring ex pupils to the blogg regarding Mike Caswell, a well loved teacher.
In the late 1950`s Belmont Abbey School was indeed a cesspool of iniquity.
By the Grace of God this place closed down; thus avoiding an inquest by the authorities. RC religious institutions have much to answer for. The cruelty & abuse practiced against teenage boys world-wide & the way nuns treated unmarried mothers & their offspring are all well documented. I have much to say on this blogg but will reserve future comment when I see that this one will be published.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for publishing my comments about the horrible place that was Belmont Abbey School. Although I am banned from their ex alumina Facebook site, I never-the-less have my contacts who inform me that anyone who makes reference to this blog will receive a similar ban.
Surely ex pupils should be able to freely publish bad as well as good experiences at their old school.
My ban underlines exactly what the Alex Jay report stated:
'that the RC religious institutions were attempting to conceal the atrocities that took place in their establishments'
These RC monastic institutions for many years have benefited from generous tax breaks. Because of the abuse practiced by so many of their brethren,it is time these were removed.
Many have or have the potential for excellent hospitality facilities; yet in Benedictine establishments you never see any of the monks doing manual work. This is always undertaken by lay staff.
The monastery, having lost the revenue from the tax breaks, could fill this shortfall by sending some of the monks to catering college to learn skills such as waitering; cleaning; cooking & other hospitality skills. Not only would the community save on wages, but the monks could follow more readily The Rule of St Benedict regarding manual work. Most of all the brethren would have a lesson in humility, a virtue from which they are very much estranged.



Anonymous said...

What a magnificent piece of writing. My public school days were a little better than yours, but so much of what you say rings true. Thank you.

Philip Cabuzet said...

The abusive behaviour by some of those in charge at Belmont Abbey School seems to have been 'the norm' throughout many RC boarding schools. The whole of the community from the abbot downwards were accessories to this abuse, as they failed to speak out about the evil practiced by some of their brethren.
Thank God that some of this abuse has been brought to light & those responsible given jail sentences.
It is good that there are such blogs where those who suffered can express themselves. In the official Belmont Abbey School Facebook site you will be banned if you make reference to this Plashing Vole blog.
This threatened action by the official site administrator is a perfect example of Roman Catholicism attempting to conceal its evil history as referred to in The Alex Jay Report.
Religious establishments benefit from generous tax concessions. Because of the proven bad conduct of the sisters & brethren in these communities, these concessions should be removed. Many have hospitality suites where the manual labour is undertaken by lay, non community staff. Send some of the community to catering college to learn skills such as waitering, cooking & cleaning. They could thus make up the financial short-fall of the tax privileges previously enjoyed.
Regarding the Benedictines, manual work would help you more easily follow the Rule of St Benedict regarding this Above all, it would be a lesson in Humility, a virtue from which you have become somewhat estranged.

Philip Cabuzet said...

After leaving Belmont Abbey School, Hereford, I attended a grammar school in my home city of Leeds. There the teachers were normal married people as opposed to the cruelty of some of the ordained priests at Belmont. One priest would beat you so violently, that the following morning your pyjamas would be stuck to your backside where the blood had congealed. This man would then admire his handiwork as you showered naked in the doorless cold showers after games.
To paraphrase a royal 'Colditz in habits' would be an appropriate description of these RC boarding schools.
The grammar school was a
complete contrast. The teachers were good, normal, compassionate, married people. Non of the violence, bullying & abuse I was subjected to at Belmont. I just wish that I had been expelled from this place. I fantasize about the most poignant, dramatic & sensational way I could have achieved this. I am thankful to this Plashing Vole blog that allows one to make comments about Belmont. On the official Facebook site you are banned if you make reference to this Plashing Vole site or if you blog about the abuse you received at Belmont.




Philip Cabuzet said...

After leaving Belmont Abbey School, Hereford, I attended a grammar school in my home city of Leeds. There the teachers were normal married people as opposed to the cruelty of some of the ordained priests at Belmont. One priest would beat you so violently, that the following morning your pyjamas would be stuck to your backside where the blood had congealed. This man would then admire his handiwork as you showered naked in the doorless cold showers after games.
To paraphrase a royal 'Colditz in habits' would be an appropriate description of these RC boarding schools.
The grammar school was a
complete contrast. The teachers were good, normal, compassionate, married people. Non of the violence, bullying & abuse I was subjected to at Belmont. I just wish that I had been expelled from this place. I fantasize about the most poignant, dramatic & sensational way I could have achieved this. I am thankful to this Plashing Vole blog that allows one to make comments about Belmont. On the official Facebook site you are banned if you make reference to this Plashing Vole site or if you blog about the abuse you received at Belmont.




Anonymous said...

Is it possible that via a private "chat" set up .Those of us could get together and discuss what took place and document it .All agreeing to respect privacy etc if required .Then make it Public via an official complaint to the Police and Church.


I also would like to Add that I Have complete confidence in saying the ex pupil who runs the old boys club etc .TONY AItken ?? He has a serious habit of lying and removing posts and people saying anything negative .NOW ...why would this be ? He most certainly lies about never knowing or hearing anything about any sexual abuse at the school !

Anonymous said...

Gemm ...I found who your Brother was , Barty . Please join forces and lets all fight the Evil legacy that remains . The abuse in Peru according to one conversation i had in 1989 was terrible .The place was treated like a sex den for priests to visit from all over the world .

Philip Cabuzet said...

I for one did not join in the chorus of praise for the Cesspool of Iniquity that was Belmont Abbey School. I have been banned from the official old pupils' facebook site for vehemently stating my opinions about the cruelty & abuse which was prevalent at this place. If the school hadn't closed; for sure it would have suffered the same fate as other Benedictine establishments & been the subject of a public enquiry.

Philip Cabuzet said...

I knew Fr Dominic Blaney when I was a schoolboy at Belmont in the late 1950`s.
He taught us The Acts of The Apostles. He appeared a good man. Your catching him with one of the cleaners is another reason that a monk's or nun's Vow of Chastity is so inhumane. Clergy of both sexes should be allowed to marry.

Anonymous said...

Amongst the failings of Belmont

Anonymous said...

Oh dear. There is not a single comment or criticism in the above litany of complaints which strikes me as unique to this particular school. Every English boarding school, in both fictional & non-fictional accounts, would appear to have precisely the same failings as this one.
In my view the most serious failing of this school was the failure to teach the correct nominative plural of alumnus ( alumni) and/or alumna (alumnae). Now that is truly worrying.

Nicholas said...

I’ve just come across this thread. I’m 56 years old and reminiscing about my time at Belmont. I was one of four brothers who were in Vaughan between about 1980 and 1990. We all loved it! It may not have been perfect but we all had much fun and made some great friends. There was always a faction of boys who were complaining miseries - the dropouts. I suspect the same who populate this blog site. Regards Nicholas Nelson

Philip Cabuzet said...

It is good that there is an uncensored platform for comments regarding Belmont Abbey School, Hereford. To many this was an unhappy place. The Almighty must be thanked that it closed down in the early 1990's.It is difficult to speculate just how many young minds were damaged by RC institutions controlled by both monks & nuns. You all knew of the cruelty practiced by others in your order, yet you chose to remain silent. May God have mercy on you.

Philip Cabuzet said...

Belmont Abbey School, Hereford was a vile cesspool of evil. The RC religious orders of monks & nuns have much to answer for. You all knew about the cruelty practiced by your brethren & sisters, yet you chose to remain silent. May God have mercy on you.

Philip Cabuzet said...

I would imagine that those in The Belmont Association who accept Aitken's rulings are 'spineless' specimens of humanity.
How can they adhere to an old school forum where any critical comments are censored. Surely debate is the cornerstone of any society.
My question to Aitken is: have you been influenced by any of the hierarchy in the RC Church?

Philip Cabuzet said...

What an upsetting allegation made regarding Peru. I would not be surprised at any allegations of evil practiced by any RC religious order anywhere on this planet. Does anybody know the reason the monks moved from Tambogrande to Lima?
I have been to South America and feel very moved to return & use my fluency in Spanish to investigate the rumours of abuse in these places. Sadly if I do find abuse,as I have been banned from The Belmont Association, I shall not be able to reveal my findings on this site.
There are however many other channels for me to reveal my findings.

Anonymous said...

2022 . Those around the 56-61 years old age group will remember .Many of our Fathers where "based" there . This is all pre internet and the chances are even the locals truly had no idea of what was going on up Bullingham lane etc .The only Boy who would talk about his father was "lee" As his father had a moment of fame when he completed an incredible parachute Jump. Not sure if it was the highest HALO or the longest Jump recorded . Dyfrig was a "WALT" His actual connection was ONLY Regiment catholic priest .Which the position was also held recently by a ex pupil who is now a senior member of the order .

There are 2 updates I would like to throw on the "Debating pile"


Alick Rowe .

Micheal Durand


Alick was a well known homosexual who enjoyed young boys . This was well known before he came to Belmont . Abbott Paul (Then house master of Kindersley ) I believe played an important role in arranging Alick to be able to teach at Belmont . Both abused boys together and separately . I witnessed a boy fighting to leave a small music room one day screaming for help and most of his clothes removed /Alick and Paul where in the room. These rooms ran down the side of the Gym . Also "Paddy Camden Smith" a great old lady who probably died of nicotine cancer ! There was a serious issue one night with a boy who needed urgent medical treatment and was been DENIED this . She called the Police .The police where then told the boy was in the Sanatorium been looked after my the "Matron" and was just another silly boy .The police failed to check the boy and left . Paddy spoke about that night and claimed the boy had been so badly raped in the Shooting range Hut that he was bleeding like a pig and was bruised all over his arms and face. The boys parents lived in Africa .The boys father worked for "Metal Box" . Again ABBOTT PAULS name was mentioned . Paddy's life became hell after this .


Micheal Durand....Walked up from the chapel at Llanarth to his old house when I visited .I for one would never have going on until later in life . He was allowed to invite boys to visit and only certain boys went . All "victim types" He also would fondle boys along with Brother James on "those long walks" .And Brother James seemed to have a collection on what can only be described as pornographic pictures of pupils . There is still a ex pupil living in llanarth who's family all knew what was going on with Michael .But in those days , little was said and fuck all was ever believed by the authorities .


Certain boys during my years at Llanarth And Belmont where almost "allowed" to sexually abuse other pupils with the support of monks /housemasters . Kieran Duggan and Andrew Morris (His Father would provide the luxury coaches for away matches etc) One boy they always picked on came from near Abergavenny and was from a poor family . Most would say he looked and acted "gay" and by god was he bullied by most .But also made to sexually satisfy Duggan /Morris .





Anonymous said...

Certain boys during my years at Llanarth And Belmont where almost "allowed" to sexually abuse other pupils with the support of monks /housemasters . Kieran Duggan and Andrew Morris (His Father would provide the luxury coaches for away matches etc) One boy they always picked on came from near Abergavenny and was from a poor family . Most would say he looked and acted "gay" and by god was he bullied by most .But also made to sexually satisfy Duggan /Morris .





ITs been mentioned that certain boys parents made large donations to "Keep " their sons at the school and to be able to continue their little reign of terror . "Charlie" Walker (Jack Walker ) been the one I remember .The most pathetic boy ever . But his father probably the wealthiest parent ever ??. They donated the money for a new building to try and keep "charlie" there .As the complaints against had reached critical levels . Turns out his father hated him but had to do it because the Mother would never hear a bad word about her son .

I am sure the boys name was "Charlie "?? But note via the internet this name is not mentioned as a son .BUT his father had a previous marriage ?????? Confusion !!Some one will remember


so "Charlie" was given "permission " to almost do as he wished and had a little gang of "hard boys " to carry out beating on his behalf.

Well.... This is what happened to him !!! After leaving education he was told he could work for his fathers Steel business on the order of his mother . He went to work on his first day all suited and booted etc .Only to be told by the manager at the gate to "go home and come to work in overalls as you will be sweeping floors all days for years.If you think your Father is mad enough to let you think you will walk around like a little CUNT ruining all the good work your father has done over the years , well you are wrong Mr Waker" .The whole work force heard about it ! .



Its interesting that the recent ex 22 Catholic Priest Nicholas Wetz who I remember

:https://www.iicsa.org.uk/key-documents/12113/view/BNT007143_001-003_-006_-016.pdf

Funny how he can hold such a position and yet during his time as a pupil at Belmont was AWARE of the sexual abuse and has said nothing .....


Its been so long many of the boys let alone their parents will have passed . I feel for any of them that never where believed and have to live with terrible memories .I know of a few parents who "fell apart" when they heard years later what had taken place and they had let their son down etc .


We are all at a stage now where the last remaining known abuser is still alive and still the ABBOTT of Belmont . Once he dies it's all over if anyone wants to see Abbott Paul face a criminal case against him and the "school" Who else was teaching there then that is still alive and be called into court ?

Anonymous said...

https://www.iicsa.org.uk/key-documents/12113/view/BNT007143_001-003_-006_-016.pdf




As a Pupil i knew at Belmont .There is NO way Nick was not aware of the abuse taking place .He was often in conversations about the raping of boys and the vile abuse .Yet sits happily not wanting to say anything about Belmont and Abbott Paul

Anonymous said...

https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.5012799,-0.2604244,3a,90y,90t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sLRA_f9QrXggb8-E-qfSndQ!2e0!7i16384!8i8192


https://www.nexfin.org.uk/meet-the-team/




FAO: Nicholas Nelson . What a disgusting comment to make . THis page is about the disturbing historic sexual and violent abuse at Belmont and you claim its just "Complaining Miseries " .Well welcome to my world mate ....

Anonymous said...

A quick update

In Regards to Gemma's Post . Contact has been made and Ive made it clear If I can answer any questions I will. I remember Barty well. He seemed a popular guy , and a classic example of just how victims in those days where either not believed by parents or the Authorities or just felt they could not step forward and let the school deal with matters .The victims at belmont knew the Monks would pull together and dismiss any abuse . I plan to form either form a new Facebook group or a website to allow people to have a solid platform to discuss matters.

But facebook might not work as many wont want to use there real names at first .Which has to be respected . The facebook page could be used as a "front door" and bring attention to the forum etc .ANyone savvy to come up with plan about this . The question is this :What is the easiest platform to use where people can discuss issues without having to use their real names if they wish etc ? cheers

Anonymous said...

Nicholas Wetz .A few of you might remember him . He wa Captain of Cantilupe in 79 . I would have had nothing bad to say about him during my time there .


It seems he decided to return to Belmont and join the Monks. And you could say has done well for himself within the order/church . Even became the 22. SAS Chaplain (Same as Dyfrig)


https://www.iicsa.org.uk/key-documents/12113/view/BNT007143_001-003_-006_-016.pdf


SO despite his position He has never once mentioned what took place at Belmont and I can imagine has played a part in "shutting down" debate about historic abuse . I know he has been publicly confronted and asked if he would make a statement .But he declined


TO whoever is running this page :Thanks

The Plashing Vole said...

Hi all. I'm reluctant to limit this conversation, but I won't publish anything naming living people as UK libel and slander laws apply. Apologies for this but the law is not on your - or my - side.
PV

Anonymous said...

Hi Vole

You can only libel someone if the statement is untrue!

I come back here sporadically to watch the comments as they grow. It has become a guilty pleasure.

I was in Kemble in the 80's. As I was not there for our mutual housemaster's spectacular breakdown I suspect you were there slightly later than me.

Good Old Casbags, I kept my Gerard Manley Hopkins poetry book all these years because of his enthusiasm and encouragement. Not sure why he took himself to London to be a lawyer though.

I was out with an old Kemble house mate last night and showing him this blog prompted some reminiscing.

He recounted a punishment imposed by two prefects forcing him to kneel on the grate outside Kemble holding two books in each hand with arms outstretched either side. They kicked him if the books lowered. Why didn't any monks, lay staff, or parents of day pupils put a stop to it? They all saw it. There was a silent acceptance in that place that would not be tolerated today.

My first day there, the house prefects tied the only black pupil in our year to a drain pipe with his belt and stoned him (for being black). They later came back pissed from the SFU after lights out and jumped from bed to bed with us still in the beds as they roared with laughter. It was absolutely terrifying.

For sport, certain prefects shot us with air rifles. We were shot in the showers, the dorms, from the tuck shop roof and they also rounded us up and set us haring down the field behind the tuck shop to shoot us. In fact they only got busted when they hysterically decided to shoot each other instead (one of them was almost blinded and had to have medical treatment so it all came out).

I mainly managed to keep my head down when I was there, but there were some poor kids who were treated mercilessly for having any point of difference.

One significant point of difference was if aged 13 or 14 you were pretty, prepubescent and looked like a girl. That made you a sitting target for not only the monks of "Queensville" (which is how Belmont was referred to by other Benedictines) but also older pupils. There were shared stories last night of both coming through from Cantilupe (via the swing doors between dorms) after lights out and being fended off by dorm wardens.

Sadly there were no dorm wardens to protect them when they were told to visit their house master's studies. One of the incidents cited in the comments above has to be when Kindersley's then House Master was removed circa 83/84 and replaced by Bro Bernard. I remember the boy's name to this day. Another incident which went unreported was a Scottish monk with a beard and a pet spaniel forcibly putting his hands down the pyjama's of a 14 year old pupil in his study and was fought off. I am still in touch with that pupil.

Posting here about these experiences apparently makes me a complaining misery and a dropout (see comments made above). Complaining misery possibly, but with significant justification. I haven't managed to drop out yet though. I have been planning it for so many years that I can't wait!

Thanks for the opportunity Vole.

Philip Cabuzet said...

I,Philip Cabuzet, pupil at Belmont Abbey School, Hereford in the late 1950`would welcome the opportunity of a court appearance reference libel against this place.
I would eloquently describe to the court & reporters, the cruelty & abuse which prevailed at this 'cesspool of evil'
Many monks & nuns should bow their heads in shame for the cruelty & abuse their brethren & sisters subjected so many teenagers to. Even if these monks & nuns were not guilty, they were guilty by association as they chose to remain silent about the abuse taking place in their midst.
Instead of reciting their daily office, they should be praying to The Almighty for forgiveness for the evil that was endemic in so many cloistered institutions worldwide.
May God have mercy on these religious orders.

Philip Cabuzet said...

Yes, by all means let us form a group where, if it helps, we can castigate those monks & nuns who blighted the lives of so many through their cruelty & abuse.
Having been expelled from the Belmont Abbey School Old Pupils' Association for referring other members to this Plashing Vole, Belmont site, I have attempted to form The Belmont Abbey School, Hereford Uncensored Comments blog. Sadly, soon to enter my 80th year, I have not got the IT skills to properly progress this site.
According to The Alex Jay Report, The RC Church is attempting to conceal the cruelty & abuse it perpetuated on a world-wide scale. Let us frustrate their efforts. Those who were abused have much to say and deserve a platform from which to state the abuse they received; be they ex pupils of Belmont Abbey School, Hereford, or pupils from other RC boarding schools or ladies who had children out of wedlock & along with their offspring were cruelly treated by nuns in institutions.
May God have mercy on these evil people who have blighted the lives of so many & cast a shadow on Roman Catholicism.

Philip Cabuzet said...

Regarding your 'Queensville' comment I was at Belmont a generation prior to you in the late 1950`s.
The unwelcome attention of senior boys, towards certain more junior boys was also rife in my days. These younger boys were termed as 'flowers'
In those days the monks kept us well away from any female company. They were naive in believing that teenage boys would want to share their vow of Chastity.
I outwitted the headmaster, Dom Brendan Minney, by having a lady friend on the nearby Belmont council estate. I would tell Dom Brendan that I had to visit my psychiatrist in Leeds reference my stutter. Instead I would stay with my nearby lady friend; her divorced mother & her boyfriend who had a motorbike with sidecar.
We would visit places such as Barry Island; Symonds Yat etc. The pleasure of sharing the close confines of a sidecar with a pretty girl was an infinitely better experience to games on the playing fields of Belmont, followed by cold showers.
It still gives me a buzz to realise how I outwitted the monks.

Philip Cabuzet said...

THE Naivety OF THE MONKS.
Occasionally we would be allowed into Hereford.
One of the joys of these visits was to go to the cinema.
The monks would list the films showing at the various cinemas, so as to possibly extract an element of financial commission.
We would sign our name under the title of the film we wished to see.
A film which at one time was showing was 'The Flesh Is Weak' about the London prostitution scene.
The monks must have thought this was a film with a biblical theme. Many boys signed as intending to view this film and the numbers were communicated to the cinema.
The cinema manager called the school to say that this was in fact an 'X' rated film, expressing surprise that there were so many boys at Belmont over the age of 18.

Philip Cabuzet said...

It is good that there is this 'Plashing Vole, Belmont' site.
Are readers aware that if they make reference to this site on the official Belmont Old Pupils' site, they will get banned?
The emails from the Association are still forwarded to me by an old pupil who concurs with my views, that a school forum should include negative comments as well as those of a positive nature.
I can only presume, that the unelected Belmont censor, is under the influence of the RC Church in its attempt
to conceal the cruelty & abuse it subjected so many of us to.

Philip Cabuzet said...

Ofsted, the school inspection organization, started inspecting schools in 1993.

Belmont Abbey School, Hereford closed in the same year.
Can you imagine what interesting reading an Ofsted report on this place would have made.

The voluntary closure of Belmont & other RC boarding schools around this time, was possibly through fear that the abuse & cruelty that was the norm at these places would come to light.


Philip Cabuzet said...

Today, May 10th 2022 is the 65th anniversary of my starting at Belmont on this date in 1957 a few days after my 14th birthday.

Although I have been banned from the official Belmont Old Pupils' Association, I have posted extensively on Facebook; The Belmont Abbey School, Hereford, uncensored and of course this Plashing Vole, Belmont site.
Are you aware that if you mention this site on the official Belmont Abbey School old pupils' site, then you will also be banned?
I will not be silenced about the cruelty & abuse which so many of us had to endure at Belmont & other RC cloistered institutions.
I would welcome the opportunity of having my day in court so as to make public the abominations so many of us suffered at these places.
We, the victims, must frustrate the efforts of the RC hierarchy, to silence us regarding the evil so many of us were subjected to, by these male & female religious orders.
Rather than praying their daily religious office, many should be begging God for mercy, for the cruelty & abuse they inflicted on so many.

Philip Cabuzet said...

In the 1500`s the printing press became widely used.
One of the results of the easy spreading of information was that people became enlightened regarding some of the excesses of the RC clergy & hierarchy at all levels.
Result: Martin Luther & the birth of Protestantism, adhered to by those who were shocked by the antics of some of the RC clergy at all levels.
Good people protested.

Fast forward 500 years to the age of the internet.
Once again news of cruelty & abuse by RC cloistered orders became apparent.
Is it any wonder that hitherto good traditional Christians have turned away from their faith?
One must feel compassion for the good & dedicated traditional Christian clergy, who frequently have to minister to near empty churches, because of the abuse and cruelty which their brethren in cloistered establishments have recently been proven to have condoned.
May God have mercy on the evil monks & nuns who perpetuated this evil, by not reprimanding their evil brethren & sisters.

The RC Church is still guilty of attempting to silence those who speak out against this evil; as I & others have witnessed through our expulsion from The Belmont Old Pupils' Association for mentioning this abuse & cruelty.

Mike King said...

There is a very good book on the boarding school system, well worth a read, "The Making of Them" by Nick Duffell. I too attended Belmont 1972-77. That I am recommending the book precludes the need for further comment. I closed my membership of the Facebook old boys page once I realised it was being censored. Best wishes to all those who got through it, whether in one piece or not, cheers

Philip Cabuzet said...

Well done Mike, for cancelling your membership of The Belmont Association Facebook site.
In the late 1950's Belmont Abbey School, Hereford, was indeed an evil place.
Even a dedicated lay teacher, with a wife & family was bulled & insulted by some of the boys.
Mental, physical & sexual abuse was the norm at this 'sespool of iniquity' that was Belmont.
By the grace of God it closed in the mid 1990's.
Can you imagine how this place would fare if faced by an Ofsted inspection?
Food for thought!
Recent revelations have revealed that Belmont was not alone in its culture of abuse.
There are many others who are victims of the cruelty practiced in Roman Catholic cloistered institutions.
The taking over, by an unelected censor of The Belmont Facebook page, is possibly prompted by the RC church. They are attempting to conceal the evil, that was practiced in so many of their institutions.
But I will NOT be silenced about the cruelty that was inflicted on me at this place.
Those who still adhere to the Belmont Facebook page are totally spineless specimens of humanity.
At the next Belmont Association meeting they should bring up on the agenda why those who are critical of these terrible places are expelled.
Surely an old pupil's facebook forum should be open to critical comments as well as those who were happy there. Even if you make reference to this Plashing Vole, Belmont site you will receive a ban from the official Belmont Facebook site.

Anonymous said...

I was at Belmont in the 70s having been to Alderwasley prep and then Llanarth prep.

I personally do not recall any specific abuse to myself during that time (I refer to sexual abuse or extreme bullying etc) but as an adult in my later 50’s, now looking back to better understand the effect of my childhood and teenage years on who I am today, I appreciate and that being ‘sent away’ to school, and being denied thereby the the emotional security and growth of a stable family environment, boarding away from home family life is in and of itself a form of abuse. You harden yourself to yourself due to the eyes of others, not with kindness to yourself or others. It’s not what the child wants or needs unless of course there are home circumstances which would otherwise deserve the attention of the social services !

Context counts of course. In my case I entered the boarding environment at an age before I was able to even articulate emotions let alone understand them, reconcile and accept. You just have to accept. In this context voluntary boarding of young children by parents and the denial of family life is clearly an abuse, now legally recognised in international child rights law.

I have struggled with the foundational emotional character formed within me from this experience. There has been much that I simply did not understand about myself, my inner emotional working’s, before I understood the obvious … that the character formed was distorted by my formative experience, an experience which was not normal and does do damage. Again context matters, but in principle this is true. I hear those that may disagree, they had the best of times, but they are amongst those who were lucky or indeed unaware. And certainly those that may hold dissenting views they are ignorant of or lacking compassion for the unlucky amongst them.

Anonymous said...

I thoroughly recommend the Duffel book, the ‘Making of Them’ and related books/articles on the boarding survivor syndrome as an eye opener. It gave me a more enlightened understanding of my self: how I was and why I was in my relationships, with myself, with partners, family and indeed all others. It’s to be read not just by those who may have experienced the most worst abuse, and the book tends, unintentionally, to give the reader this as a main reference point, but by those too who may feel they sailed through the experience and have not reflected further its impact. As we grow older, self reflection, if we are honest to do so, is healing.

I do recall many instances, not just to myself but more so observed for other pupils, which would be considered well outside of the duty of care of young children put into the ‘care’ of other adults away from home. Such abuse included ‘violent’ or aggressive disciplining, a rules based code lacking of empathy for the individual or for those being harassed, a lack of management of pupil on pupil bullying or attention to the isolation of those kids who did not fit into one of the many cliques which form amongst pupils. It’s natural, but not necessarily right, read Lord of the Flies. The characters of all the pupils would be formed by their experiences, for better or worse, but in all cases I think in a manner that is not balanced for a healthy emotionally secure adult life. Some of us recognise this, some have struggled terribly, some are unaware. But often as not our partners are all too aware :(.

Anonymous said...

On Belmont, in the 70’s, with the context above that boarding is not a well balanced environment especially for younger children or teenagers not yet ‘matured enough’, I don’t recall that it was filled with rampant abuse. But abuse existed and for some for sure it was extreme, utterly damaging and illegal. I recall Alex Rowe at the time and being uncomfortable with his attention to some of my friends. I only later learnt that he had been found guilty of peadiofidlia and the dots then joined up for me. Some of the monks had questionable behaviour but none that I personally experienced, I just felt uncomfortable at times. Later as I see in at least one case brought to a court this was indeed shown and I strongly suspect the occurrence was wider. I recall the institutionally favoured pupils and their clique, the clique of rebels/dropouts who retained a resistance to the order imposed and stands them in good stead in my view, and those others left behind, individuals who did not fit in a clique or who were so terribly bullied and isolated. I remember one in particular who I still today feel for and who was removed from the school for his wellbeing. It was truly awful for him and undeserved. I recall at least one pupil ‘uprising’ due to a sexual abuse by a member of the staff/monks but which was ‘dealt with’ subsequently in some manner and then quashed by the school authorities. I recall outright racism to some of the non-white pupils. We knew no better at the time but nevertheless the school environment accepted this and we were taught no different. I recall that the environment was one of constant competition between pupils on every level for the esteem of being amongst the ‘best’ in outcome, what ever that may have been, but never for being you as good as you are. Resilient achievers within the code was the prized outcome of the system, not the fulsome development of a rounded talented child.

There were three outcomes then. Those that left school with the confidence of recognised self esteem, those that left with the esteem of the rebel, and those that left with esteem yet to be recognised or with severely damaged self esteem, some perhaps catastrophically so. In which camp you ended depended upon your innate character fit, the family/life circumstances you came from, your luck, or indeed your being unlucky to have been singled out by the school cliques, the mob, for victimisation. An example would be that in a school where the rugby field defined your worth and rugby, physical battle, was not your thing, then you were handicapped from the start unless you have some other exceptional talent respected by the mob. I don’t know, maybe playing popular rock guitar like an ace. Being quiet or into poetry was not ‘in’. That’s hard for a child or teenager who has other talents but not recognised by the pupil collective. As for those who may have had questions regarding their sexual nature, there was no space at all for the non-heterosexual. A catholic school !. It was a different time of course but do try to put yourself in the shoes of others at that time.

It was hard for many who did not ‘fit’ for whatever reason, and for most it was not their choice.

Happy to discuss experiences. My approach is understand, accept, move on.

Best to all readers 

Philip Cabuzet said...

I say BOLLOX to all those who bullied me at Belmont in the late 1950`s.
Because I was so harshly beaten by my housemaster I learned how to avoid being caught & developed highly my negotiation skills to avoid these beatings.
These skills served me well in my business career.
I was able to bring highly profitable innovations to the companies for whom I worked and in my own business ventures & investments my 'out of the box' thinking enabled me to financially prosper beyond my wildest dreams.
All this thanks to the duplicity & cunning I learned from Belmont.

Philip Cabuzet said...

I got expelled from the Belmont Association for referring those interested in Mike Caswell to this Plashing Vole, Belmont site.
How can you guys in the BA tolerate that any critical views are censored?
You are like sheep and the spirit of discipline, obeying the unfair instilled into you at Belmont has not left you.
As a motion for debate, at your meeting in October, you should make it clear that as well as praise, sporting & theatrical photos, criticism of ones days at Belmont, also has a place on the site & should not be censored by an unelected censor.
You may care to contribute to the Belmont Abbey School, Hereford Uncensored site.

Mike King said...

This post is too long to fit comment box, so this is PART 1

I was thinking over anonymous’ post above which ends “it was hard for many who did not ‘fit’ for whatever reason, and for most it was not their choice”. I think the division of ex-boarding school boys into three ‘types’ has some merit but I think it is a little simplistic. To consider that most left with either the confidence of recognised self-esteem or the esteem of the rebel is, I think, to miss the point and does to a degree validate the school’s (monastery’s) approach. There were certainly a minority (probably more than is thought) who left school severely damaged and we must condemn the perpetrators of those whose crimes are responsible for this and feel deeply for the victims but to assume everyone else departed the school relatively emotionally healthy is a huge leap and not one that holds up much under close scrutiny.

[Once again I refer anyone interested in gaining a greater understanding of the subject matter to the book “The making of them” by Nick Duffell]

I believe that the truth is that for most, we haven’t understood what the whole process has done to us until well after the event (or never), and usually in the light of some serious, maybe even catastrophic event or relationship breakdown in our later life. As regards the ‘sufferings’ of a boarding school education I think I considered that I got off lightly (but that might in itself be part of the safety mechanism fashioned in my childhood as protection against the psychological shock of ‘abandonment’), viz I ‘played’ rugby at both Llanarth and Belmont and though I wouldn’t describe myself as a great rugby player I would almost certainly have been considered a rugby ‘success’. I played for all the relevant age groups at both school and county level, (although Herefordshire schools teams at that time were almost all populated by at least 50% Belmont boys so no great thing there). My older brother was House Captain and I achieved the dizzy heights of monitor with the prospect of likely prefectship as the House Master (now Abbot) undoubtedly liked me. However, we are each our own and it was my own particular brand of ‘dealing with it’ that pushed me the other way. I was de-monitorised for ‘not turning up for monitor duties’ and for ‘not giving enough penances/detentions’. This makes me sound as if I cared about justice et al and I told myself later that that must have been the case of it, but the truth was that I didn’t care about anyone, certainly not the juniors I wasn’t punishing. I was simply dealing with my emotional isolation by giving the system the finger. To that point I hadn’t even cared enough to adequately push back, hence I had made it to monitor. The truth is that in my early to mid-teens I railed in silence and yet at the same time accepted what was on offer. In hindsight, I now understand that it was rugby that offered me this privileged option. And yes, in my own particular fashion, even as a ‘rebel’ it would be fair to describe me as elitist, convinced of the idea that I was failing on my own terms.

And so I left Belmont as an undoubted under-achiever, in every way you can imagine.

Thereafter, I never really thought about it until at the spritely age of 32 I suffered a cardiac arrest, the reasons for which the medical profession professed themselves stumped. One consultant even said to me that my condition could only be referred to as Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. Really code for, ‘don’t ask us, you’re the one arresting, come back tomorrow when it gets worse and we might have a better idea’. This, of course, is the catastrophic event I referred to above. But it is not the event itself that is relevant here. After all, anyone can die. It’s the living that is difficult because in such situations, it is the living that tears you apart.

To be continued

Mike King said...

PART 2

And so it did for me. As someone suffering from Sudden Adult Death Syndrome I had an internal defibrillator implanted into my abdomen (one of the first 200 to be done in the UK) and sent out to start life again. I was on no medication and basically on my own. ‘Suck it and see’ is the medical term, I believe.

You cannot imagine what such stripping way does to someone who has built his self-image around the idea that he is tough and afraid of very little. I discovered fear again in the most brutal of ways. Adrenaline became the bogey man in my life and when I felt it rise in my body, a corresponding fear rose with it. I desperately avoided any situation where my heart might possibly quicken. (I’ll leave it to the more creative to figure out likely such scenarios). But the bottom line was that I lost all the self-esteem I had carefully manufactured at school – in my case, the esteem of the rebel, if you like. I was back where I started scared shitless and struggling to cope. This might sound a tad hyperbolic but a little background information will help you understand.

My defibrillator gave me my first ‘in the field’ shock in a shopping mall in Crawley. I was on my own on a stairwell. It gave me nine shocks and I lay prone as it successively failed to reset my heart. Finally it did. During this (fairly brief) time a couple and one other person walked around me. I can still see the look on their faces. I would say that this was a seminal moment but things were to get worse. Four months later, the defibrillator failed to terminate an arrhythmia altogether and it continued to shock me until I died. Only then did it stop. It administered so many shocks that the hospital were unable to settle on a final figure, at least 40, probably more.

To be honest, the cardiac arrest itself was easy (anyone can do it), the difficulty for me was coping with the hour leading to it (some are lucky enough to have an arrest without receiving advance notification – my experience involved quite some time before the thing actually struck me down) and the periods after it, dealing with the destruction of the identity I had carefully forged as a child and teenager. Believe me, there is nothing quite like knowing you are going to die. In the end, my heart stopped for four or five minutes.

Anyway, I don’t want to bore you with unnecessary detail regarding my experiences for that is not the point here. There’s lots of other shit but you get the point.

The real point is that the identity, self-image and self-esteem I had created in the dingy dormitories and on the rugby pitches of Llanarth and Belmont collapsed in the face of this catastrophic turn of events. I may have been fearless (relatively) on a rugby pitch and unfazed by the cane but suddenly I was rendered weak and pitiful in the face of having to live every minute imagining that my heart was arresting with every quickening beat. Going up the stairs was a nightmare. It took me a long time to conquer this emotional paralysis and to live without worrying that I might die at any minute. Fortunately, (mainly thanks to others), I have made it through.

To be continued

Mike King said...

PART 3

Thus, in a long-winded, vague and admittedly probably self-absorbed manner, my point is that boarding school has f##ked us all, even those who attempt to gainsay it.

By the way, I wrote an autobiographical account of the early years of my ‘epic’ journey called “In the blink of an eye”. If you’re interested in the horrors of multiple unexplained cardiac arrests at an early age then you might find it interesting. You can get it via Amazon by clicking on my name above. I guess that’s a shameless plug but I won’t be offended if it strikes you as something you’d not be interested in. Don’t worry, I don’t write for money – I make nothing from it. I write for my own expression.
For example, I wrote the following and I’m still not sure why (it’s crap but I don’t care lol):

Prep school

the mirror beckons
behold
sixty-year old
glare
preppie stare
what maternal breast
was there left to suckle
but Frog
ice-blood coursing
through veins of steel
with hands
of marble
and breasts
of rancour
innards shriveled
sucked dry
dessicated

and you?
cold and peeled naked
who dares care?

impure thoughts
choking the chicken
wrestling
with the beast
nightly

you boy, will be the man we make

ah, sin the road to hell
well-travelled

AND
So what?

priest charged
but there is no crime seen
just numbers
of victims
that hide
so that they may remain hidden
for there is no revelation
that can unsully
that which is sullied such

am I one
of these few
who are so many
and if so
what?

and is the priest one
of the few
or the many
and if so
what?

so fucking what?

Best wishes to all and in the words of Dave Allen, may your God go with you. (Interestingly, according to newspaper reports he died in his sleep at home of ‘sudden arrhythmic death syndrome’ – for what it’s worth, I doubt he was asleep when he died).

Mike King said...

A point of clarification - when I say "does to a degree validate the school's (monastery's) approach" I do not mean in any healthy, positive way but in the sense that the architects of the system cared little for any individuals sacrificed to their ultimate aims, indeed justified it on these grounds (as it happens, unconvincingly, I would say - for the reasons that follow). Thus they would believe the misery and long-term damage inflicted on a minority a price worth paying.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mike,

Perhaps to better explain my opinion, I think we agree . For those that attended such schools from an early age, prep age, and early teens, I think all of them departed the school process/system with ill-formed emotional capacities and a poor understanding of emotion within themselves. [I went to a therapist once who asked me how I ‘felt’ about a certain thing and I realised that I had no real vocabulary to explain what I felt. I felt quite stupid. I also once went to a wine tasting course and found that I couldn’t smell the flavours until they were proposed to me and only then I could! Self discovery is sort of the same process ]. For older kids, say 15 onwards, as they may well have a more secure and articulate sense of themselves by that age, then a boarding school environment may have value to them in later life. But even then only if it was their wish to go and their character was such to be able to cope with the separation, the unrelenting competition, and to be able to ‘fit’ with the collective. My experience was from an 8/9 year old.

I think the rugby field, the team experience, and overcoming adversity is a good thing, with the caveat that sportive excellence achievement alone should not be the primary defining characteristic of a valued member of the student body. And I felt this was more the case. Not so much because of the school’s intent but because the dynamic of such a competitive environment, being somewhat macho as an all boys school and the testosterone of puberty being naturally prevalent, if not well managed by the school will take the form that it did – physical prowess in sport mattered, academic prowess made you a ‘swot’, not a positive term at that time of life. The school staff may have appreciated it but in the dorm … ?. All school environments have collective biases of one sort or another of course, but boarding schools lack the balancing environment of a parallel family life and local neighbourhood life with different reference points and so are more extreme in their effect on the individual I think. You are unseen unless you are seen.

I don’t have a ‘downer’ on Belmont itself per se. My parents after all l sent me there, believing it was in my best interest, and sadly died before I became self aware to have had the opportunity of some healing with them. We all lost in this respect. Amongst many other boarding schools Belmont ‘may’ have been one of the better, yet I also appreciate from this forum and other that for some it failed them tragically. They are angry and I get that. I rather consider the boarding system overall for younger children to be manifestly damaging for the upbringing of emotionally healthy adults. Many other environments are also damaging such as children raised with abusive or uncaring parents but here we are talking of our own experiences with boarding and Belmont.

Anonymous said...

Early boarding is traumatic. We overcome the trauma with emotional resilience and then we forget what we felt before. Emotional resilience can be valuable quality at times but not if emotional empathy for your self and others is required. That and its related ptsd comes later. It’s what the early trauma delivers. The disconnection from emotional empathy in ‘normal’ life circumstances, either from ourselves or from others, reveals itself later as the resilience wears thinner with time and ones struggle to resist. I think it is Joy Schaverien who wrote on the subject of advice for those partnered with someone who went through the boarding school process. So I’m with you when you say we haven’t understood what the process has done to us until well after the event. It needn’t be a catastrophic event such as yours though, it is often a wife, partner, family or friends who find our emotional disconnection too difficult to reconcile with their own expectations borne of a very different childhood. This has been me for most of my life until I understood what the process had led to. Now I can explain myself, I am aware, but it is still and will always be a learning process and the absence from the past will always remain. The trick I guess is to better know your strengths and better work on your weaknesses.

Some years back I was with a friend and over beers we talked of life experiences. His upbringing was state school but with an alcoholic father prone to violence in the home. My upbringing to him was one of privilege in comparison despite my recounting of the personal damage I felt. He was simply not able to equate the violence done upon him with the ‘violence’ done to me. Our formative experiences were quite different but it underlined for me how misunderstood the ‘privilege’ of boarding school can be and how unheard we are … which was how we learnt to be.

Sorry to hear of your heart health challenge and I hope all remains well and improving.

Best to you.

Philip Cabuzet said...

The Belmont Association of old pupils can consider itself very fortunate that I am overseas between July & November and still out of the country when their AGM meeting is held.
Otherwise, although banned I would attend. Aitken could not stop me checking into the hotel.
I would motivate the other members, by eloquently informing them how stupid they are in subscribing to an association, where adverse comment against Belmont Abbey School is censored and even encouraging other members to read this Plashing Vole Belmont site will receive a ban.
Surely, an old school association site should permit criticism & comment about the cruel and abusive regime that was suffered by so many, at this cesspool of iniquity and other Roman Catholic cloistered institutions world-wide.
Philip Cabuzet.







Anonymous said...

Mike KIng. I remember you!


I heard nothing back from Gemma in regards to her Brother Barty .

I have plans one day to visit Belmont before a sunday service and place Notes inside the Hymn books explaing what took place and how The Abbot was an abuser and sit and watch the reaction of the congregation etc when thy turn to that page etc . Or even to actually walk onto the alter and calmly explain to them just what type of man they "Worship" as the Abbot .I will video it and then hand it to the local media .Either that or I just walk up and kick the merry fuck out of him .

There has been mentions of Parents offering money etc to the school in order for their son to be "Forgiven " when they did something terrible


1.A very famous STEEL business owner(Walker) who also owned football club . His son abused a younger boy and it took a lot of "goodwill" to keep him there .But even his time came to an end . His father paid a huge contribution towards a new building .

2. A Nigerian Adejumo) in Kindersley during my time . Terrible bully and a sex abuser . But from what i have heard "Karma" has dealt him :-)

3. A Welsh boy (Morris )who's father provided all the coaches etc .Again a terrible sadistic bully . And joined in sexual abuse .

4. 2 x Irish Cousins (Duggans ). One who loves to tell everyone just how good he was a Rugby (He was 1st x 15 !) Both major violent bullies .One left and got into serious trouble with the law .And now looks like a toothless tramp on his youtube channel !

5. A skinny boy (Morris) who's father ran a "Funeral service" in Devon. Weird as hell. Would tell boys he would sexually abuse bodies during his holidays .

Philip Cabuzet said...

It would appear from previous comments, that many concur with my opinion that Belmont Abbey School, Hereford was a terrible place.Indeed, it has been proven that many other RC cloistered establishments share this disreputable aspect.
Those who have been affected need a platform to condemn the injustice & abuse practiced by so many religious orders. The attempts by the Roman Catholic hierarchy to silence those who were wronged must be frustrated.

Anonymous said...

Why does everybody talk about Dyfrig so fondly? He was a psychological bully and shouldn’t have been any where near the cloth of priest hood, or in the company of vulnerable boys

Anonymous said...

Please be advised that my email is cabuzet@aol.com
Not cabuzet@gmail.com
Please alter your records.
It would appear that many Abbotts & mother superiors,althogh probably good people,were unworldly and naive and thus lacked the ability to identify those who joined their sacred orders to further their thirst for abuse under the cover of Holy Orders.
What is lamentable is the Catholic Church's quest to suppress any reference to the cruelty & abuse suffered by so many in cloistered institutions worldwide.
On The Belmont Abbey School,Hereford Old Pupils Facebook site,because I referred readers to this Plashing Vole Belmont site and because I was critical about the sexual & violent abuse I endured at this place
the unelected Belmont censor banned me.
How can existing Belmont Association members tolerate that any reference to any anti-Belmont posts risk a ban?
Your acceptance of this in your Association, demonstrates a lack of Spirit. Obviously the doctrine which the monks tried to instill into us has never left you.
An old pupils'association should be permitted to be critical as well as offering praise and sporting photographs.
Existing members,pull yourselves together; don't be fools, frustrate the efforts of the RC Church who try and hide the atrocities previously committed.
I for one,will not be silenced.
Join me.
Philip Cabuzet
cabuzet@aol.com

Philip Cabuzet said...

Because of EU regulations I was only able to holiday in Europe for 90 days, I had therefore to return earlier to the UK than intended.
So I was able to check into the hotel where the Belmont Assoociation annual dinner was being held on October 29 2022.
The honourary secretary, Tony Aitken, was surprised to see me at the hotel and asked if I was attending another function there.
I replied 'no' and that I had heard about the reunion from other members who concured with my scathing remarks about Belmont Abbey School, Hereford.
I mentioned to him that I always stated my opinions and that it was an utter disgrace that I was expelled from The Belmont Abbey School Old Pupils' Association for posting my remarks on the Belmont Abbey School Facebook site.
All he could reply was "so be it"
As I have been excluded from the group, my beautiful lady friend & I were sat at a nearby table in a restaurant close to the dozen or so members of the association present; hardly numbers demonstrating a lively & thriving group!
At breakfast the following morning, two members who recognised me as a former member, asked why I was not at the dinner?
I replied that I had been banned giving the reasons.
They both sounded surprised saying that they did not know about this.
I later attended the Old Pupils' Mass at Belmont Abbey and then gate-crashed the association members' coffee meeting.
I appear to have been 'cold shouldered' by others at this coffee gathering. However, I did have a lively & interesting conversation with a very elderly member of the Belmont community.
I could see that I was being talked about by Aitken & another member of the community who is a retired member of the British RC religious hierarchy. On a previous visit many years ago, he asked me what I was doing in life?
I replied that I was 'on the dole & looking for work' his reply was 'oh dear' and then promptly walked away.
This snobbish attitude is hardly what should have been the reaction of a man who was later to become a senior Roman Catholic cleric.
My message to him & all those who bullied & abused me at Belmont Abbey is that I 'made good' in life thanks to the cunning I learned at Belmont to avoid violent beatings & bullying from so many 'Chinless wonders'

Philip Cabuzet said...

Philip Cabuzet.
As a practicing Roman Catholic, my final act prior to leaving Belmont Abbey on Monday Oct 31 2022, was to go into the Abbey church and pray that the community may once again engage in manual labour and lose their arrogance to find the virtue of Humility as dictated by their founder St Benedict.
I entered this in the Prayer Request book located in the porch.
On previous visits to Benedictine establishments, manual labour & Humility appear to be very remote from the agenda of this order of monks.

Anonymous said...

You clearly have an issue with Belmont and l don’t blame you

Anonymous said...

Belmont, Belmont, Belmont — let’s face it, an expensive rip off to teach boys to be totally horrible to each other, to the delight of the sadists that ran it

Philip Cabuzet said...

The recent anonymous comment regarding Belmont Abbey School, Hereford sums up exactly the regime at this terrible place.
You are so right in saying that I have issues with this place, where I had the misfortune to be a pupil in the late 1950's.

I was a member of The Belmont Abbey School, Hereford Old Pupils' Association but got thrown out because of my negative comments about this 'cesspool of evil' and also for referring those interested in Mike Caswell, a well loved teacher, to this Plashing Vole, Belmont site, where he was mentioned in very favourable terms.

I fail to understand why current members continue their subscription to this association.
You must be pretty spineless to support an organisation that supresses adverse comment.

Recent court proceedings have demonstrated that such abuse was not exclusive to Belmont Abbey School, Hereford.
Indeed many cloistered establishments of both monks & nuns were guilty of cruelty & abuse towards those placed in their charge.
I personally was beaten so violently by my housemaster, an ordained priest at Belmont, that the following morning my pyjamas would stick to my backside where the blood drawn from the beating had congealed.
I was also mildly sexually abused by one of the senior monks.

I suspect that my expulsion from the Belmont Old Pupils' Association may have been orchestrated by the Roman Catholic hierarchy.
They appear to be determined to supress any discussion regarding the cruelty and abuse so many suffered from religious orders.
Their efforts must be frustrated.

For sure, many monks & nuns will have had a vocation to serve The Almighty; but there were no doubt some who will have joined to further their sadistic and abusive practices.
The innocent ones were guilty through not causing the guilty ones to be sanctioned.
Instead of praying in chant, they should be fervently begging The Almighty to show mercy on the evil that has been proven to have taken place in so many of these cloistered establishments.

Philip Cabuzet said...

I would imhagine that the guy who is pro the regime that was in force at Belmont Abbey School, Hereford is one of the multitude of 'chinless wonders' who are products of the RC public school regime.

As someone who experienced both the cloistered education by Benedictine monks at Belmont and an education at a local Grammar school, I feel that I am qualified to comment on both education systems.
Belmont was a truly horrible place in the late 1950`s.
Boredom encouraged excessive bullying by uninteresting fellow pupils and homosexuality was rife in a regime where misogyny was rampant within the monastic community.
Many of the teachers, including the headmaster were unqualified.
My housemaster would beat those in his house so violently that blood would be drawn.
After games he would admire his handiwork as we showered naked in the doorless cold showers.
I was wanting to follow my father in a medical profession, but there was no facility to study Biology.
These are just some of the negative features of Belmont Abbey School, Hereford.
I find it difficult to write anything positive about this 'cesspool of evil'
It has however provided me with food for thought on how I could have been expelled from this place.
I am proud to say that I have been expelled from the Belmont Abbey School, Hereford Old Pupils' Association for expressing my views about this terrible school which by the grace of God closed.

On the other hand, the grammar school I subsequently attended was totally different.
Qualified married teachers; no bullying; fellow pupils with whom you could hold an intelligent conversation.
Indeed my faith in humanity was restored and now well into the Autumn of my life, I have led a productive and financially rewarding life.

Philip Cabuzet said...

Reading the above comment I note a reference to an uprising at Belmont Abbey School, Hereford.
I have further possible evidence regarding this.
Some time ago, during my self employment, I made a presentation to the Accident and Emergency Department (A&E) at Hereford hospital.
After the presentation, whilst chatting to a senior charge nurse, I happened to mention that I was an ex pupil at Belmont.
He questioned me about an incident when both teachers and pupils attended the hospital A&E department with injuries which were supposingly Rugby injuries.
However as an experienced A&E charge nurse, he mentioned that these injuries were not at all commensurate with Rugby injuries and asked If I knew
exactly what happened.

Perhaps someone can throw light on exactly what did happen?
There is surely potential for a 'best seller' regarding the untold history of Belmont Abbey School, Hereford.
Including mention of the monk who returned to the monastery with a black eye, having entered a train compartment and done a 'heil Hitler' salute only to be punished by a fellow passenger.
Or what about the monk who left Belmont stealing a quantity of bed linen?

Anonymous said...

If some of the teachers were unqualified, it wasn't apparent when I was at the school. Two monks who taught me seemed particularly qualified. My CDT teacher was exceptional at drawing and design and my French teacher was fluent in French and seemed to be able to transfer that knowledge to most of us. Also folks, please bear in mind - being married doesn't guarantee one's normality. Ask Rose West.

Anonymous said...

Chanced upon this thread recently & have now read it through with a mixture of nostalgia, horror, sadness and anger, mainly the latter three. I was at Llanarth Court (prep school for Belmont Abbey) for two years in the early seventies & there was a lot that went on that was far from palatable.
Sexual, physical and emotional abuse at Llanarth Court School, during my time, was systemic, endemic and pervasive both by staff (mainly) and pupils It was bad even by the standards of the day.

I think it is important to bear in mind though, that two pupils at the same school over the same period can have a totally different experience of the same place, even if they were close friends. Some staff/pupils would be fine with some pupils and horrendous with others.
This could change at the whim of the perpetrator/s concerned.
Paedophiles will, usually, not abuse ALL children over whom they have, or are supposed to have, some duty of care or power. Usually they will pick ones they think will be more pliant, weaker or easily intimidated.
Many pupils will have been blissfully unaware of anything untoward. Some will have suffered only physical or emotional abuse or sexual. Some may have suffered/witnessed all three or none at all hence the vastly differing views of the school experience during the same period. I think what, justifiably, angers those of us who suffered any form of abuse at the hands of the scumbags who perpetrated it, is that some people make light of our experiences & are dismissive. We therefore feel we are AGAIN not being believed!
Regretfully, I don't have the literary gift of Vole and many contributors here but I am grateful that you have been able to express so well, many thoughts that so accurately align with my own.
I think I remember Mark King at Llanarth in the 3rd form - used to sit at the back of the class in the stable block. There was a sadistic maths teacher (also assistant head) called George Reardon, thankfully now dead who gave him a hard time about his work. If this doesn't ring a bell, please accept my apologies for the error. Time can cloud the memory!

Philip Cabuzet said...

My prep school was St Martins School, Nawton.
Although there was minor boisterous ribbing amongst the boys, St Martins was on the whole a happy place during the early 1950's.
The staff were dedicated and non monastic, ruled by a mildly eccentric headmaster.
No sadistic monks here.
What a shock it therefore was, for me to go to Belmont Abbey School, Hereford.
I am a naturally friendly person but my outgoing personality was seriously taken advantage of by many of the monks and the majority of chinless wonders with whom I had the gross misfortune to have as fellow pupils.
A housemaster, who although a brilliant teacher, beat me so hard that the flesh on my buttocks would be lacerated and the following morning my pyjamas would be stuck to my backside where the blood had congealed.
This fiend, an ordained priest, would then supervise us as we showered naked in the cold, curtainless showers.
I was twice mildly sexually abused by a senior monk and forcibly raped by a senior boy.
I left this place in December1959 and went to a Grammar School in my home city of Leeds.
My individuality, which my housemaster had said "I will beat out of you" soon returned and I made friends with many at this place.
Like St Martins my prep school; no monks here. Just normal, decent and married teachers with only very slight religious leanings.
The cunning to avoid beatings I learned at Belmont, served me well in my business career.
I was able to advance myself financially through unorthodox but legal methods.
I attempted to try and build bridges with Belmont Abbey School, Hereford by paying my £50.00 and becoming a life member of their old pupils' association.
My greatest achievement regarding Belmont is that I got myself banned for adversly quoting against Belmont and referring members to this Plashing Vole site.
What a load of spineless individuals current members are for not speaking out against the censorship currently enforced.
Obviously the subserviancy instilled into you at Belmont has never left you.
As an act of defiance, I recently stopped at the hotel where they were holding their AGM dinner and with my lovely ladyfriend sat at a table close to them in the restaurant.
No wonder there were only about a dozen ex pupils at the meeting.
Hardly the hallmark of a successful and flourishing association!
New evidence has shown that Belmont Abbey School was not alone in abusing those entrusted to their care.
Many cloistered religious establishments of monks and nuns worldwide have practiced abject cruelty on large numbers of pupils.
Thank God many have closed.
The tax benefits of these religious institutions should be removed so that their religious orders can be re-introduced to manual work.
Regarding Benedictines, this would enable them to more readily follow the rule of their founder St Benedict and most of all be a lesson in Humility, a virtue which has become absent from their agenda.
During their Divine Office, guilty religious orders should publicly beg forgiveness for the harm they have caused to so many.
May God have mercy on them.
I am thankful that The Almighty gave me the strength to overcome and shake off the evil I encountered at Belmont Abbey School, Hereford and in spite of the abuse I was subjected to at this place, I thank God that in the autumn of my life I have remained a practicing Roman Catholic.
May God have mercy on those monks & nuns who subjected so many to cruelty and abuse.
May He also show mercy to those in these institutions who knew about the evil practiced by their brethren and sisters but chose to remain silent.

Mike King said...

Ref Anonymous above (amazing how many people with the same name attended both Belmont and Llanarth). Don't know if there was a Mark King (not that I recall) so I suspect you do mean me (Mike King). I was at Llanarth 1969-1972 - apologies if it's not me you're thinking of.

The teacher you mention is George Reardon, famously (or notoriously) known as Daphne. He was notorious for his use of what was euphemistically called his 'tickler'. He used to smoke rollies and pop out mid-lesson for a quick drag whilst we all laboured away at our 2 plus 2. He (or his tickler) must indeed have left a deep impression on me as I wrote a novel 50 years plus after Llanarth and he gets a mention (ha ha). There will be plenty of old boys who will tell you he was a real character but what that really means is that he was a bastard to those he didn't like and condescending to those he did. It's one of the great mysteries of boarding school life - all those kids at the same school at the same time yet each somewhere different than the rest. Jenks was the same at Belmont - hell, they were all like that. I shouldn't mention hell, of course, there's one or two of them on the way there, I should think.

Cheers to those who attended (even the prefects - I was one at Llanarth but I suspect only by virtue of my elder brother's success at both schools - in fact, the worse report I ever had was given me by Illtyd whilst I was a prefect). By the time I had reached the upper fourth at Belmont they had worked me out and I had done the same for them. Thereafter, it was all downhill. Being relegated from your study to the dormitories for a couple of weeks was a real bummer. Getting a beating was so much easier. Ah, memories, eh?

Mike

Mike King said...

Interesting development at the Charity Commission. Belmont's two charities (it has a General Trust and a Mission Trust). The General Trust basically deals with the monastery and the Mission Trust with the parishes.

Effective midnight 30th June 21 both Trusts transferred all their assets and liabilities to two newly created CIO charities. CIO stands for Charitable Incorporated Orgnisation and effectively enables the Charity to enjoy Limited Liability for its trustees. I would be interested to hear from anyone with expertise and experience in this area who might be able to suggest why the monks have decided to make this change.

Anonymous said...

I do not know the reason but just wanted to acknowledge that I do read all postings on this Plashing Vole, Belmont site.
Not only have I been dismissed from the Belmont Old Pupils' Association, but also banned from posting on their site as well as on the parish site, due to my vehement criticising of the previous conduct of The Belmont community and other cloistered institutions worldwide.
I thank the Plashing Vole administrator for allowing those who suffered or were abused at these places to have a platform where they can express their comments.
The Roman Catholic Church must be frustrated in their attempts to silence the victims of abuse at the hands of religious orders.
May God have mercy on them and those who knew about what went on but failed to remonstrate with their abusive brethren and sisters.

Anonymous said...

Apologies for the mis-typing of your name Mike & thanks for addressing it in you post of 6th March in reply to mine about George Reardon; but yes indeed his tickler usually consisted of two 12 inch wooden rulers back to back which he whacked across the palm of the hand for the most spurious of perceived mis-demeanours. Taught Maths and French as I remember. I think his wife worked as a secretary at the school or something.
I can't remember if I arrived September 71 or 72 - I was only there for two years. The name Kevin King seems to come to mind during my time but again, things get hazy.
I was in the same year as Pedro Ramos, Roger Basset-Jones, Gian Antoniazzi, Neil Trodden, Michael Bickford, Michael Bird, Simon Petit...can't believe these names are coming to mind.....Louis Della Porta, Steve Sullivan, Nick Jones, Paul Gallagher, Alex Cowling, Edward Lean, Eammon Strong, Pete Ridehalgh (apologies if spelling is wrong) Stephen Dalton, John Rydell (wonder what became of him!). Edwin Owens, Keiran Duggan, James Nairn & James Duncan. Charles De Rohan. Charlie Walker. Michael Baines rings a bell too as do the Leese brothers.
Russel Martin, Chris Pook, Toby Withnal & the Bouzyk brothers were the year above me.
If it helps, the first year I was there, the Matron was know as Frog and at sometime during my attendance a more benign matron arrived who preferred to be addressed as Sister.
Miss Bayliss taught Divinity (coke bottle specs) & Brother Ambrose "Mouse" ran the tuck shop. We did a play called "All The Kings Men" in the Gym/theatre and the the violent alcoholic headmaster Illtyd Barrett sang the "foggy dew" song one parents entertainment evening. There was an outbreak of Chicken pox so some of us were sent home (thankfully) to isolate & a brief respite!

Mike King said...

I left Llanarth in Summer 72 so you may well have been there when I was there. Kevin King is my younger brother.

I recall Russel Martin, Chris Pook and the Bouzyk brothers but they were all 'below' me. The elder brother of the Bouzyk brothers was in my year though the Christian names of all three escape me, possibly one was Greg. I think they were, like me, in Kindersley at Belmont. I recognise quite a few of the other names you mention as well but they were all also 'below' me.

Remember Frog well. Bulging eyes and crooked legs, like something out of the Hammer House of Horror. Also remember Mousey. He ran the Chess club. I got to know him better some time after (see below) and didn't like him - I think it was mutual so I expect I bore at least 50% of the blame for our not getting on.

I went back to Llanarth as a temporary teacher in the Summer after I left Belmont. I taught Cricket, Maths and English, the latter two subjects to eight year olds who probably knew more than me. I missed quite a few classes and can remember being woken up one morning by three boys from a class that I should have been teaching. Still, Father Dominic was only paying me £10 a week so it was really only somewhere to doss. Although having said that, I liked the boys (well, most of them) but even those I wasn't keen on I tried to treat fairly. For me the boarding experience was relatively recent so I could empathise with them to a degree.

One of the odd things I remember about Llanarth was the form numbers. When I was there it was 1a, 2d, 2c, 2b and 2a. I had a bit of a funny progression through the school. I started in 2d a year behind. I came from a State school so they thought I must be thick. That lasted two weeks so I was elevated to 2c, my correct year. Unfortunately, I was way ahead of the rest of 2c (so much for State schools being sub-standard) so they put me a year up and I missed 2b and went directly to 2a. I finished 4th in 2a but was held back from going to Belmont. Still can't figure that out. This turned out to be the beginning of the intellectual end for me. I spent a year being bored silly, having very few close friends (my contemproraries were changing all the time as they shifted me down, up, down) and though I managed reasonable results in that final year, I had clearly got into bad habits. Thereafter, I slipped year on year. I suspect that academically I would have done better in State school.

Having said that, I don't regret it. It screwed me up but things could have been worse.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the clarification Mike. Yes, the class system was odd. I too came from a state school and was in class 3a with your brother Kevin - top bloke - who was always very genial. I hope he is O.K.
Much as I never suffered sexual abuse, the physical and emotional abuse was prevalent, systematic and endemic. I loathed the place, (the presence of your brother and a few others excepted) and things came to a head personally when it became apparent that one of the senior staff had sexual designs on me.
I ran away on November the 5th evening (I only lived 15 miles away) when I had been summoned to his study for no apparent reason. I was picked up by the police in Llanishen, who figured I had got lost on my way home from a fireworks display, and taken home.
My parents went completely mental and I gave no explanation for my actions - they took me straight back - though I think even THEY realized there was something seriously amiss. The next morning I was beaten by said master for my "transgression" & I left at the end of that term to a prep school I really enjoyed. I had previously written, several times, to my parents saying that I wished to leave Llanarth but the requests went unheeded until that night in November.
Much as I have no problem with the Catholic faith per se. and adhere to its tennets as best I can, all this (and my subsequent Catholic public boarding school) left me with a deep mistrust of the Clergy which I retain to this day. One in four of all the catholic clergy I have met or had dealings with, have at some point been jailed for abuse offences of one sort or another. Those are not good odds!




Mike King said...

I talk to my brother Kevin at least once a week so I shall tell him that there was at least one person who once liked him once (lol). He is fine, by the way, and still going strong (he has a heart of gold).

It is a sad thing to say but your Llanarth story doesn't surprise me. I was miserable for a long time before I figured out how to survive. To my eternal shame I was a prefect for my final year but in my defence I suspect this was due to Father Dominic liking my elder brother so much. Anyway, he must have recommended me to Illtyd upon the handover between the two in 1971 and so a prefect I became. Didn’t help me one iota, as it turned out.

Thereafter Illtyd spent the whole time (in between sustained bouts of migraine and alcohol overload) telling me that I was self-absorbed, conceited, obsequious and unpopular with my peer group. In one of the reports of my final year he reported to my father that no-one liked me - I got a roasting for that. Of course, the truth is that I didn't have a peer group as such. I had been in the top class a year ‘up’ only to be kept down when I was due to move to Belmont (in my case I suspect to separate me from my elder brother) despite finishing in the top 4. Illtyd, of course, was just a bully so the facts of the matter and my welfare didn't matter. For me, it hardened me (probably not healthy) and I channelled my suppressed misery and aggression into rugby. In fact, without rugby, I don't know how I would have survived.

Of course, my story is simply one version of the same story. Young boys separated from their families trying desperately to make sense of it all. Truth is, we all have our own misery arising from being abandoned into the care of a group of cruel, self-seeking and unempathetic pathetic men, many of whom couldn’t resist the opportunity to put their hands on your bottom. I’m afraid, I can’t share your tolerance with regard to the Catholic Church. In my opinion, it’s an evil influence and has nothing whatsoever to do with God. A year or two ago I watched the Abbot (my old housemaster) perform mass in the Abbey church. Unbelievably, he wore a mask. Jesus walked with lepers and he couldn’t manage an empty altar without keeping himself safe. There was not a lot of Faith on show.

Anyway, I'm glad for your sake that you managed to get away. I can completely relate to your parents being deaf to any entreaty you may have had the effrontery to make. I gave up when upon seeking help early in my time at Llanarth my father simply told me that were he in charge he would have expelled me - can't remember what it was all about except that expulsion would have been way over the top. In that moment, I realised that he wasn't on my side and that I was to all intents and purposes on my own. Not ideal when you're only eleven. Strangely, this was the case even though my elder brother was there in my first two years. In any normal environment this should have provided some support but in fact it achieved the opposite. He couldn't disown me more readily and completely than he did. I understand now that he too was simply working out a way to survive. Empathising with a lesser being was not the way to do it. I remember an organisation in my first year called the brotherhood who used to terrorise randomly selected juniors - I remember one boy being up and urinated on. I even remember his name but I won't disclose it as it's probably something he wants to forget.

No doubt there’s plenty of ex-Belmont and Llanarth boys who will read this post and think what a wimp. However, in this sense they are, in my opinion hoist by their own petard. Ridicule is the reaction you would expect from the emotionally stunted. Anyway, I digress.

Philip Cabuzet said...

At the age of 16 I left Belmont Abbey School, Hereford and went to a grammar school in my home town of Leeds.
Compared to the 'chinless wonders' at Belmont, many of my new school mates were from more modest backgrounds.
However, even though I spoke English with a cut glass accent, the welcome I received from my fellow pupils was overwhelming.
No bullying; no beatings from a sadistic ordained housemaster ordained priest; but normal fully qualified married teachers.
The success in Public exams achieved by the pupils compared to Belmont was a pleasant relief.
The suppression of opinion which was de rigour at Belmont when I was there in the late 1950's, still prevails. My ban from The Belmont Association for referring members to this Plashing Vole site proves my point.
Those who remain members of this group demonstrate a poor standard of individuality accepting control from an unelected censor.
Perhaps that's why I observed only 12 members when I attended the restaurant, sitting at a neighbouring table in an act of defiance.

Philip Cabuzet said...

Today May 10 is the anniversary of my starting as a pupil at Belmont Abbey School, Hereford.
Now 80 years old, the two and a half years I had to endure at this horrible school were without a doubt the worse in my life.
I arrived at Hereford train station in full Belmont uniform.
There were others similarly dressed pupils alighting from the train but none offered me any help, a new boy, as to where to catch the bus and complete my journey
to Belmont.
This unhelpful attitude typified what I was to expect at this place.
What a contrast to the warm welcome I received from my fellow pupils at the grammar school I subsequently attended after I left Belmont.

Prosecutions for abuse have demonstrated just how evil some of the monks & nuns in these cloistered establishments were.
Thank God many have closed and so relieved children from the abuse practiced at these places.
Although I have been expelled from the official Belmont Abbey School, Hereford, Old Pupils' Association and also been prevented from commenting on their Facebook & abbot's daily message; I will not be silenced.

Anonymous said...


Thanks for letting me know that Kevin is O.K. Mike. For reasons I can't fathom, it became important to know.
I think I may have been misleading about my trying to adhere to the tenets of the Catholic faith. What I meant, was that I try to live by the basic Christian standards. I do not mean that I, in any way, try to adhere to Cannon law etc.. which I see as absolute tosh and really only a means of controlling those who can't, or choose not, to think for themselves.
It is reassuring to know that I was not the only boy at Llanarth who had to learn how to survive. You always think you are the only one having to do it. It took me a long time - I was well into adulthood - to realize that I was not the problem. I loved St John’s-on-the-Hill in Chepstow after Llanarth. I then when to an oppressive Catholic Seminary school on the Staffordshire moors called Cotton College - hated it & then ended up at Monmouth Boys School which I loved. Cotton was probably as bad as Llanarth but by then I had the residual resources left over from my Llanarth days, to deal with it until a knifing incident there finally prompted my parents to send me to Monmouth. It is interesting to note that quite a few of my year at Cotton have served significant jail terms for serious offences; one is on death-row in the U.S.A. awaiting execution.
Of the six schools I attended between the ages of 4 and 18, the three non-denominational schools were all great & the three catholic schools were all horrendous. There is a theme here! It staggers me how the majority of people I know who went to Catholic boarding schools had similar experiences. The Christian Brothers were another bunch of misfit abusers for the most part as far as I can tell. All this has left me with a deep mistrust of the majority of formal religions and much as I’m sure there are other bad schools about, it seems to be the Catholic ones top the list of places to avoid.

Philip Cabuzet said...

How many more Roman Catholic boarding school establishments have had to close?
Belmont, Downside, Douai, Fort Augustus and now we hear about Cotton College; just a few of the long littany of failure of these places.

On vouIantarily leaving Belmont Abbey School, Hereford in December 1959, I was fortunate enough to experience further education at a state Grammar School and am therefore qualified to comment
What a refreshing change.
No weirdo Benedictine monks, but well qualified and dedicated lay teachers.
No cain wielding clerics but teachers who pointed out & discussed the possible consequences of any erring from the sensible rules.

Fellow pupils who abhorred the bullying and abuse that was endemic at Belmont and similar establishments.

The Old Pupils' Association at Belmont are still attempting to supress knowledge of the evil that occurred at this place.
You will get banned if you post on their site about any experience that is detrimental to Belmont.
You will even receive a ban if you make reference to this Plashing Vole Site.
It speaks volumes about the calibre of those who are still members of The Association.
Obviously you have not shaken off the culture of control forced onto you at Belmont.
How can you tolerate to be in an association where any negative opinion is redacted by an un-elected censor?

Philip Cabuzet said...

Now at 80 yrs old and very much in the twilight of my life, I am in a position to reflect on my years on this planet.

Apart from the late 1950's, when I had the gross misfortune to be a pupil at Belmont Abbey School, Hereford, I have had a happy & good life.

Unconventional, because I never married and never had children.
Instead I have had a series of long-term relationships with some fascinating, beautiful,
compassionate and wonderful ladies.

I achieved financial success well beyond the prediction of my peers at Belmont.
This success I attribute to the cunning I learned at Belmont to avoid the violent beatings and bullying from some of 'the chinless wonders' whom I was unfortunate enough to have as fellow pupils.

My greatest regret in life was not to have been expelled from this horrible school.

On reflection,
the pinnacle of my life would have been attacking and injuring my housemaster following a beating.

What glory it would have been for me to
attend a juvenile court and defend myself by showing the cuts on my backside, inflicted
by the violent beatings from the cane wielded by my housemaster, a Benedictine monk ordained to the sacred priesthood.

What an opportunity to expose in court, the attrocities that took place at this cesspool of evil.

When there was a change of abbot at Belmont, my housemaster, although a brilliant teacher, was sent away from the school and monastery.

The Almighty must be thanked that Belmont and many other establishments run by cloistered orders have closed.

The RC Church is still attempting to silence those who speak out about the atrocious abuse that has taken place in these places.

For speaking my mind, and making reference to this Plashing Vole site,
I have been excluded from The Belmont Abbey School, Hereford, Old Pubils' Association.

Those members who do not speak up against censorship from an un-elected censor are spineless.
The association should be a forum for good and bad experiences at this place.

When I unofficially attended their most recent meeting, there were only about a dozen members present.
This is hardly a good attendance figure, that points to a thriving association.
Maybe many existing members do not concur with the current policy of stiffeling any negative comments.

Roman Catholic religious orders, when they pray together, should beg for mercy for the abuse they have inflicted on so many young people who were entrusted to their charge.
May God have mercy on them.







Philip Cabuzet said...

It would appear that The Belmont Association are not having their AGM this year.

When I paid my £50.00 life membership many years ago, it was a thriving association.

In 2022, when I attended the hotel and gate-crashed the after mass members' coffee morning, I noted that only about a dozen members were present.

Sadly, one of my contemporaries chose to ignore my presence when he sat at a nearby table at the dinner.

My message to the honourary secretary is that 'you cannot ban members who make fair criticism of what to many was a horrible school'

Belmont Abbey School, Hereford was for me a terrible place in the late 1950's.
Bullying, physical, mental and sexual abuse were rife.

Recent court cases have revealed that Belmont was not alone.
Indeed many RC cloistered establishments have been proven to have practiced similar cruelty; not only in the UK but also worldwide.

Maybe members of The Belmont Association are not quite as stupid as I presumed.
Perhaps they have no longer any interest in an association which censors any criticism of a school where so much evil was practiced.

Maybe the honourary secretary has been 'got at' by the RC Church in its quest to silence any exposure of the evil that was de rigeur at these places.

The vision of ordained priests in clerical habits, taking a run so as to beat a boy more violently is a terrifying thought; yet was the norm at Belmont & other RC establishments.

When cloistered communities recite or chant their Divine Office, they should be begging The Almighty to have mercy on those monks and nuns
who practiced such evil.
Also their fellow brethren and sisters are also guilty.
They knew full well what was going on and failed to remonstrate with them.
May God have mercy on them all.

I thank The Plashing Vole for giving us a platform to voice our criticism of these places.
Good on you.


Anonymous said...

I cannot believe many of the monks actually believed in God. Of they did then none of this would have happened.

Paul Bateman said...

I always find it weird that boring schools exist. You either want children or you don't. Why have them and then send them away to be abused by others? I do think you should have to apply for a licence to be parents.

Anonymous said...

They are trying to sheild themselves against potential liabilities due to legal action

PUl Bateman said...

But Philip do you really think they believe in God? If Goddoes in fact exist I would imagine St. Peter would direct them to the lift " downstairs"

Anonymous said...

Dyfrig = creep & psycho bully — should never had been allowed in priesthood

Andrew Matthews said...

It is interesting to see how often Dyfrig's name crops up. I remember him quite clearly. An insignificant little man who was always trying to make a point. He grasped all the ins and outs of how to climb the monastic greasy pole. His intellectual ability could be described as little more than peasant cunning.

Anonymous said...

Dyfrig was a weak intellectual obsessed with the world of monastic social climbing

Andrew Matthews said...

Dyfrig's name crops up several times on this blog. When I attended Kemble 1969-74 he was made deputy house master for Kemble in the early 70s. I am not quite sure what the process was for this illustrious post, as I recall it happened shortly after he started attending night prayers in the house, but, strangely, not morning prayers. He carried around with him an air of self importance, but displayed little, if anything, in the form of intellectual ability. I don't remember him doing any teaching, and bearing in mind the appalling level of some of the monk's teaching abilities, the fact that Dyfrig could not rise to teaching shows that his overall usefulness in education was less than minimal. But he may have excelled in other areas which were not readily obvious.

Philip Cabuzet said...

You are so correct in describing Benedictine monks as monastic social climbers.
Indeed the virtue of Humility is far removed from their agenda.
During my business career, for a short time I was on the dole. I attended a job interview near Belmont and called there to pray in the Abbey.
I rested for a while in Hedley Lodge.
One of the community who was passing through recognised me and said Hello.
He then asked me "What are you doing in life?"
I replied that "I was on the dole right now"
Instead of showing me compassion, his reply was "Oh dear" and then he promptly walked away.
This man became a member of the RC Church hierarchy.
I am happy to say that I made good in life.
Financially I exceeded all expectations.

The ethic of manual work is also far removed from Benedictine monks.
Some monasteries have excellent hospitality establishments.
I would suggest that some of you attend catering college & learn hospitality skills.
Thus you will be able to save money on outside lay labour
Most important of all,you will more readily be able to observe the Rule of St Benedict, your founder, regarding the virtue of Humility & manual work.
You however have so many weirdos in your monasteries that there would be a very real danger of monks poisoning the guests or drinking the bar profits.
In view of so much cruelty & abuse to have taken place world-wide by both male & female cloistered establishments, it is time that their favourable tax priviledges were removed.

It should also be noted that I have been expelled from The Belmont Abbey School, Hereford for negatively posting about this place and orders of monks & nuns.
I remain a practicing Roman Catholic, but not through the example I experienced at this cesspool of evil in the late 1950's.
Philip Cabuzet
cabuzet@aol.com

Philip Cabuzet said...

When I attended Belmont Abbey School, Hereford in the late 1950's, the teaching ability of most of the monks was deplorable.
I left Belmont and went to a local Grammar School where in spite of my 'cut glass' accent I was made very welcome by my fellow pupils.
I soon gained a pass in my GCE exams, having been tutored by normal, married teachers.
One exception at Belmont, was Dom Aelred Cousins.
He was a brilliant teacher but a very cruel man.
This ordained priest would beat us so violently on our buttocks that the flesh would be lacerated & blood drawn.
I note that when Abbot Maurice Martin was replaced by Abbot Robert Richardson, Dom Aelred Cousins transferred overseas.
I wonder why so brilliant a teacher was no longer part of the Belmont teaching community?

We do need a post where the horrors of the abuse and cruelty practiced by male & female cloistered orders can be revealed.
The efforts of the RC Church to silence us must be frustrated.
Monks & nuns when they chant their Divine Office must make it a prominent prayer for forgiveness by The Almighty for all the cruelty & abuse their sisters & brethren have inflicted on young people placed in their trust.
May God have mercy on them.

Those who are members of The Belmont Abbey School, Hereford Old Pupils' Association who refer to this Plashing Vole, Belmont platform will be expelled.
What a shower of
s---t any current members who accept this ruling are.
Is it any wonder that there were only a handful of members at the previous AGMs.

Anonymous said...

Mile King, I was in Kindersley with Kevin and have memories of our balancing on a headboard blowing cigarette smoke into the roof, that probably doesn't translate to well into the 21st century. I hope life has been kind to him,.Did you do some time back at Belmont as some sort of trainee..
A lot of the physical and mental bullying spoken of I recognise most of it from pupils. There seemed to be an unwritten rule that bullying was something that was part of life and we should get used to it. I was bullied, I was a bully, I still feel ashamed of both.

Philip Cabuzet said...

Another testimony of the evil regime which prevailed at Belmont Abbey School, Hereford.
Now, well into the Autumn of my life, I do not wish to pass on without making a contribution to history about the cruelty, violence and abuse that was widespread at so many monks and nuns in Roman Catholic cloistered establishment.

It is hoped that a large part of their daily prayers consists of begging The Almighty for mercy for the evil that has been proven to have been prelevant in these places.

I have gotten banned from The Belmont Old Pupils' Association for referring people to this Plashing Vole, Belmont site.
This indicates that possibly the honourary secretary has conspired with the RC Church, to silence any criticism of the evil that took place within these places.

Some time ago, as a gesture of defiance,I gate-crashed the Belmont Old Pupils' dinner venue.
A few years ago there was a strong presence of Old Pupils at these meetings.
Now this has been reduced to a dozen.
The honourary secretary should realise, that true and decent people will not tolerate censorship of their views.
Only those who are spineless will still be influenced by the Belmont regime and will meekly accept the dictates of censorship imposed by the unelected censors.
Others, have voted with their feet.

Mike King said...

To anonymous, it was my elder brother John who want back as a novice - he took simple vows but left after a few years. When I read your question asking if it had been me I felt physically sick. I wouldn't have got into bed (pardon the expression) with those lot if you had promised me the world. The very thought gives me the heebeegeebees. I await your apology lol