Tuesday 9 June 2015

Treasure Trove

I went up to the loft for the first time yesterday, aided by a trusty fellow explorer. The previous occupants muttered that it was full of 'stuff' but didn't offer to take their belongings with them.

It is indeed full, and full of stuff. Several binbags of lampshades. At least forty terrible pictures, some reproductions. The usual collections of suitcases, raffia tourist souvenirs and wicker junk. A broken captain's chair, an Edwardian towel rack and a beautiful and no doubt lethal 1940s heater. Multiple boxes of terrible Christmas items and boxes and boxes of religious iconography. One of my predecessors was a retired Catholic priest and judging by the contents of the loft, one with a liberal interpretation of those commandments relating to property.

Several crates of ecclesiastical brass junk

A cuckoo clock so cheap that it's not clear whether it's made of wood or plastic, but still has a plaque engraved by the givers to mark Christmas


Some of the highlights include:

A Gas Oven moneybox containing a Victorian penny, a George V florin and a shilling. 

Several clocks, some large and elegant, some terrible. 
Fully working 3 ft telescope
A Beck Model 22 Microscope with Zeiss eyepieces. It works perfectly.
And a selection of specimen slides, all neatly labelled in 1945
…including Penis (monkey) and Human prostate

And finally the piéce de résistance: an actual church chalice, with a box and a little flask for consecrated wine. 
That's right. I own a chalice now (and a church lectern). Black Masses will be on Sunday evenings (midnight, obviously).

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Utterly brilliant :)

Could always use the lectern in class!

Josiane

Alan said...

Serious bit, Aidan: I think you should make some effort to restore the chalice to a church. I'm an Anglican (at the "high" end) and I get seriously mithered whenever I see Abp de Grey's chalice and patten on display in the treasury at York Minster. They had to dig the old boy up in the course of underpinning the God-box he started building, and I really think they should have reburied these items with him.

Incandescent Llama said...

The ovary worries me, PV. The old boy didn't have any connections with Our Lady of lourdes Hospital, Drogheda, to the best of your knowledge?