Monday, 29 July 2013

Au revoir, mes enfants

I'm off on my holidays. Camera, big pile of books and some clean undercrackers. No phone, no email, no Twitter, no Web. Just rain and the written word. I'm taking a pile of Patrick Hamilton, Martin Green's Bright Young Things history Children of the Sun and about 6 novels whose names I forget now. Add to that the Guardian every day and the Irish Times and it's going to be a good couple of weeks. And perhaps the occasional swim in the Atlantic and a trip to the Skelligs. In fact, have another picture.

In the meantime, this is what a proper holiday looks like… thankfully in days gone by.

Enjoy your break (from me). I'll be back in a couple of weeks to do my bit in the Clearing call centre ('Computer says yes'). All that's left is to leave an 'out of office' message. The Dean sent us a 45-line essay which struck me as being patronising and humourless. Let's see if I can't do better:
Dear correspondent,
                                I am away from the office. It doesn't happen often but Mr Gove is also on holiday so it might just be safe to leave Higher Education unattended for a couple of weeks.
     Leg-traps are positioned around the printer, so don't even think about nicking the paper. My books are in order and I'll know if you've touched them.
     I'll respond to interesting email when I get back in two weeks' time. If you don't get a reply, try again, and be more interesting. Remember: importance and interest aren't the same thing.
                                                                Plashing Vole.

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