We're having a big staff meeting about the state of our school and plans for further recruitment under the cosh of the Tory/Lib Dem attack on education. Cakes and bottles of wine are tantalising us. I just hope it's not a surprise goodbye party for people made redundant in the next hour. My colleague next to me thinks it's a test: anyone who chooses wine over orange juice is marked for defenestration. I'm more optimistic: given 5 bottles of wine between 60+ people, anyone who gets a glass displays the commitment, drive, determination and sharp elbows which marks them out as natural survivors. I got mine!
Actually, it's not apocalyptic. Some things look bright and others are less promising.
I'm doing my bit. I'm renaming my Media, Communications and Ethics module. From now on it's called The Only Way Is Ethics.
(I should confess that when I tested this on the students, atoms clashing on the surface of the sun could have drowned out the laughter).
*Note to readers less 'down with the kids' than me: there's a popular 'scripted-reality' show following the lives of some shrieking know-nothing narcissists called The Only Way Is Essex.