Thursday 6 August 2009

Thursday's version of Friday's Conundrum

Hello all. I'm skiving tomorrow. Cynical Ben, Neal, James and I are going walking on the hills around Macclesfield, armed with pies, but lacking Dan and his map skills. After that, Neal and I are joining James for a weekend of carousing and debauchery in the fleshpots of Chester. Or, we'll find a poky indie club in which to feel old. Either way, no blogging for a few days.

How was David Mitchell's appearance, by the way? I'm afraid I missed it.

So - the Thursday Friday conundrum. It's easy. What, if everything had gone your way up to this point, should you be doing now? Where would you be, with whom? I know Cynical Ben would be where he is, with Jo, but be a published author, but he's a spawny get, to use the demotic. The rest of us - not always so easy.

I, of course, would have received the Golden Boot after scoring enough to get Stoke City to the top of the Premiership and won the Champions League. Again.

OK, maybe not. I wouldn't have minded being a decent fencer, and I'd certainly like to be living in the Welsh mountains, overlooking the sea, or perhaps in Ireland or Shropshire, holding down a full-time post in English/Welsh literature. A book or two published, debt-free, and perhaps somebody there with me. As long as she didn't scratch my records or crease my spines. Not too much to ask, is it?

Alternatively, I'd like to have been running a moderate-sized country, consigning large sections of the population to camps for possessing hairstyles, using mobile phones as stereos, dropping litter, voting Tory, driving 4x4s and generally being objectionable. This is not a vision I have yet relinquished, by the way.

8 comments:

Newton Heath 18 said...

I'd be living somewhere more foregin than Wolverhampton. Probably Australia. I would like to think I would met the man of dreams (there isn't a one who got away) and would have a couple of kids.
I would have found to the time to finsh all the books I started to read. I would have found the time to listen to all music I've wanted to get in to. I would be living solely on diet of wine and cheese without any detrimental effect on my health and waist line.
Alternativelty, I would have realised the ambition I had at 4 years old and be running the world, albeit using policies to the Vole.
Man Utd would have 10 European cups, 25 League tiltes etc
Stamford Bridge and Ainfield would have been turned into Aldis or Ikeas due to mis-use of the buildings.

Dan said...

I'd have taken Martin Swain's (Resident E&S sports bloke) job off him. Which, coincidentally, I managed to do for a day. Then you may have seen me in other publications such as When Saturday Comes, FourFourTwo, Match (it was good, yeah) and if times we're really hard Nuts.

I'd have probably done it all with 'Special Rabbit' my favourite soft toy when I was a kid.

Kate said...

You forgot PR people/anyone who works in advertising - surely they would be top of the list for a camp, made to watch Michael Winner, compensation claim and debt consolidation adverts on a continuous loop. Your conundrum is almost impossible to answer, I kind of believe that adversity is the key to success; it's only through making mistakes/having hard times and learning from them that you become a more resilient, resourceful, considered, considerate and generally well rounded person that makes you a valuable friend/colleague. I'd hate to be around someone that got their own way all of the time, even if it was through sheer good fortune, I bet they'd be terrible company. Anyhow - I should play the game - if I'd gotten into my first choice of Uni I'd now be an archeologist specialising in Ancient Egypt, which is very different from what I'm doing now. Also, if I wasn't told I couldn't do it as it wasn't academic enough, I'd have been a fashion designer. As for former beaus, I can honestly say I wouldn't want any of them. I realise now, several self help books later (don't scoff Voley) that they were totally unsuited, and now I'm very happy with Matt (no smugness intended - he isn't perfect, though nor am I, and we do have our moments!). If my life hadn't taken the path it has, then I wouldn't have met any of my wonderful friends, so, mum thing and location of house aside, I'm fairly contented with my life. Though I would have to agree with Emma, calorie free wine and cheese and enough time to read all the books, get into all the music and watch all the interesting films you wanted to would be superb. So would kids sooner than later, but my younger other half doesn't agree! As for you Voley, you can publish a book, get that academic post, get a house in the Shropshire, Welsh or Irish hills, all of those things are perfectly achieveable, you just need to make a workable plan of how to get there and stick to it!

The Plashing Vole said...

Oh Kate, so wise as always. Yes, serendipity might always come up with the goods! I've got a fair approximation of what I want - as many books as I can buy, a job of sorts - through bumbling around, and like you, I distrust (and dislike) those people who swan around getting everything easily. I always assume (no, hope) that they're utterly miserable inside for some reason!

Benjamin Judge said...

mmmmm published. That would be nice. There are a lot of things I would like to do but also time to do them so you never know...

I agree with Kate that adversity is not necessarily a bad thing - things have not always gone my way but my life is pretty good. I have a great marriage and a job I can stomach and I am starting to get more time to write. Bad things often turn out good - for example my parents divorce was not ideal but a few years later my dad met Pat who is now like a second mother to me.

So if everything had worked out perfectly? Well I wouldn't say no to a big house in Norfolk (good birdwatching country - yawn!) a couple of kids and the time to teach them what the schools now find too expensive to bother with (how to cook, mythology, literature, history, politics, the wonders of the countryside, art, music etc) and yes being published would help with all that but as I say, that is all still possible.

No, if it all had gone perfectly you would have started your post saying that you, myself, Neal, James and Ian were going walking tomorrow. Ian Katz was fourteen when he died in a car crash, just after he and his father had dropped me home after a Charlatans gig. For him to be still alive. That would be truly perfect.

The Plashing Vole said...

From what you and the others have said, he could well have been a Map Twat.

You'll manage your Victorian paternal idyll one day - though perhaps you should become a teacher.

Benjamin Judge said...

Victorian is a bit harsh perhaps. Lessons will not be compulsary! I reckon I will be a pretty good dad.

Lou said...

That is a conundrum. As a mother I couldn't possibly wish for the big stuff to be any different as that would wish away my son.

I do regret though that I didn't hold it together better after finding myself suddenly single and a mother in my late 20s. If things had gone my way, I'd have found the perseverence to move forward with my plans, finish my studies and complete the move to my piece of land in the Coromandel where my simple life awaited. Instead a bereavement on top of the new baby made me timid and I've never recovered my bravado. My plans were shelved where they remain to this day. I work in a job now that makes me feel useful though essentially unfulfilled and I come home each night to my own little suburban fortress.

I've never sold that little piece of land in the Coromandel though...